Sunday, January 13, 2019

Ahhh, Gotta Post Something!!!

Our noble host tossed me under the bus on Saturday so he can go kanoodle with The Missus Herself.  I sillingly said I'd step up and do a post.  Me being all heroic and stuff, right?

So... well, this day's been busy.  Cats and dogs sleeping together, squirrely neighbors standing in the parking lot shouting at each other because they're obviously deaf and don't know sign language, thumpy-thumpy cars slow driving by and wishing to draw fire from the Bean family cannon (otherwise known as the mighty Remington 870 tacticool…)  Mrs. Andrew feeling under the weather, Beans feeling fine but, well, bleh, it's warm outside (above 50 degrees in wintertime is warm, okay?  I hate heat but really hate snow and ice, so lesser of two evils.)

Checking pile of potential posts...  Hmmm.  No, not this one.  Done that one.  What was I thinking about putting THAT down on (electronic) paper, no way statute of limitations is over on that...  Hmmm... historian stuff... statistics... hmmm, well, it will be boring but at least it will occupy space and time...  Maybe toss in a recipe or two to fill it out.  Hmmmm.

Warning - random photo

Well, let's see...

Our noble host, OldAFSarge, mka (mundanely known as:)  Blarg Garfalddlenick, first posted on March 22nd, 2012.  That's the first ever Chant Poste.  And having read it, well, he's grown since then.  Definitely a "I'm sticking my toes into this murky water full of aresholes and
alligators.." type of post.  OldAFS was a tad sporadic in posting for a while before his Muse hooked him up to the local 220V line and got him posting most days.  By the way, OldAFSarge, your OpSec sucks and I know where you live (someplace in Rhode Island, by the way,) and where you may work (insert ominous music,) your birthday is on May 8th, 19XX and your anniversary is on January 12th (as can be seen on the January 12th post.)  Father of the WSO/LUSH, The Nuke and the Naviguesser.  Servant of two cats and a pond full of water and some fish.  Does computer stuff for some secret government contractor that at one time was/may still be doing stuff for the DDX program (maybe He can convince the gubmint to just toss the super guns and go with more conventional 155mm nautical-ized and such.)

The first co-poster of the Chant is Tuna, who followed OldAFSarge over from Lex's site.   He first commented under the odd moniker "Tom" and then introduced himself as Tuna (actual) from Lex's site.  See?  Wasn't making this up.  His first guest post was on May 25th, 2013 (that would be a little over a year after the Chant started) and posted pretty much every day since.  He officially joined as an official Chant poster on June 29th, 2013.   Father of the Minnow and the formerly named Teenangster who isn't a teen anymore so...  My father was also a Knight of Columbus.  Wonder what it's like to belong to that extremely political organization (referring to idiots in Congress referring to the KOC as right-wing-radical...)  Works in Mine Warfare for the Navy.  Lives on the Left Coast, isn't a Lefty.  Big difference

juvat (why lower case, juvat, why not upper case Juvat I have know idea) first commented on July 10th, 2013 (so I guess the AF was slower than the Navy) and waited a whole 4 more days before jumping on the comments wagon.  His first guest post was on June 1st, 2014, less than a year after starting to comment, so I guess the AF is faster than the Navy after all. OldAFSarge was quick on the ball and officially recruited juvat (not Juvat, he spells it 'juvat') on June 3rd, 2014 with the first official posting as a Chant poster on June 9th, 2014.  Married to a vicious Crud playing personnel  officer/wine seller/wine tourer/fine couturier/now tour creater? and father of Little Juvat (why "J" instead of 'j'?  Dunno) and MBD, both now married not to each other (this ain't Arkansas after all.)  Now retired and working on his third adult career on a full-time basis, that being the To-Do man for his wife.

The 4th Chant Poster is LUSH who is also known as the WSO because Navy?  She's married and has three kids, one of which is a fighter pilot named Big Time (who she's also married to, yes, confusing, what do you expect from me?) and two daughters, Little Bit and L'il Sweetie.  LUSH was officially announced on June 7th, 2017, though OldAFSarge from the beginning said repeatedly this blog was all about her or something to that effect.  Busy with 3 kids (what?  couldn't remember that from like 3 sentences ago?  Try some Ginseng for memory) she has yet to post or comment, though those of us who are in the inner circle enjoy her infrequent emails to the inner circle.  She makes OldAFS respond via powers of the smart phone.

And then there's the poster formerly know as Andrew, aka:  Beans.  He first commented on October 1, 2016 tentatively (no, really, stop laughing, I mean it!) And then pretty much by November 2nd, 2016 became the mouthy mouthpiece you know and love.  Then came the fateful March 27th when OldAFSarge contemplated openly about adding me as a guest.  Then on Good Friday of 2018, that being March 30th, when, at the instigation of juvat (little 'j') OldAFSarge propositions pre-Beans and PLQ guesses correctly what the proposition is.  April 17th, 2018 was the day pre-Beans confused PLQ over the many aliases that pre-Beans is/was/will be. Pre-Beans ruminates and thinks about it for 2 weeksish.  So pre-Beans first guest-posts on May 2nd, 2018, followed by his last guest post on May 4th, 2018.  OldAFSarge announces pre-Beans as becoming a Chant Poster on May 8th, 2018.  Further complicating/uncomplicating things is on May 18th when OldAFSarge announces a new header and that pre-Beans, after some polling and complaining, has now become Beans.

Okay, why all of this?  Well, once I became a poster, lots of ideas percolated through my mind.  Lots.  And I'd start writing a pre-post and realize, dang, I think they (the other posters) have already talked about it, so I went back and re-read the whole post history and stupidly didn't catalogue each post for content, which I silly-ly promised to become the archivist for this shebang.  Thus finding out that there was already a post on the SR-71, some of my favorite books and movies have already been discussed, and other things.  And then I wrote a pre-version of this and it's been sitting for about 3 months or so.
Majors Cobb and Gantt, Sled Drivers
I knew Major Gantt, well, his kids mostly
And he drove a Vega... From the Blackbird to a Vega... How far man had fallen...

Whew.  Hooray me!  Squeaked another out!  Whew.

And, because Plane Picture...

Mission from Taegu - by Gil Cohen - showing the mighty F-84E
Almost the plane my dad flew (F-84G) but the right airfield

Oh, yeah, recipe, recipe...

In the spirit of witches casting evil spells upon President Donald J. Trump (I just love saying that) I will give you an old Roman Catholic recipe for BBQ Witches.

1 Pole, 1 cord of wood, 1 witch, Enjoy!

Now, I actually recited this very recipe to a witch that tried to 'cast' an evil spell on me.  Said witch spent many much moments hyperventilating and uncasting her cast.

Works with politicians also.  And used car salesmen.

Hey, it's a joke.  Really.  Seriously.  Come on, can't you take a joke?  If not, well, I know where a cord of wood is...

Joke, okay?  Bad joke but still...  a Joke.

Okay, a real recipe.

Google or look into a good cookbook for Snickerdoodles.  Substitute Gluten-Free flour (King Arthur brand or Pamela's are the best) for regular flour.  Now we have Snickerdoodles that Mrs. Andrew can eat (Celiac's disease, no gluten, gluten bad.)  Flavor difference between 'real' flour and G-F flour?  None, if you follow the recipe.  I used the one out of the 1956 Betty Crocker cookbook.  It's my favorite cookbook, as it has the recipes for Poteca, Yule Kage and the ever-popular Swedish Tea Ring (One is a walnut sugar spiral bread, one is a breadish fruit-cake and the last is a circular bread made much like cinnamon rolls but in a circular bread.)

So, there.  Real recipe.  Sorta.  Good night.


  1. Interesting post, Beans.

    1. Gotta try the Cat Repellant technique. Might work for the Grays, not a chance with Schmedly, way to smart.
    2. Why you gotta hate on the Vega?
    3. Juvat is an excellent Fighter Squadron in Korea. juvat is a nom de plume on a blog.
    4. Evidently, my natural sleep cycle is 2130 (ish) to 0730 (ish). Not to rub it in or anything.

    Have a great day all.

    1. 1. Good luck. Schmedly, yeah, a jarhead name? Definitely won't fall forit.
      2. An aluminum non-sleeved engine guaranteed to melt by 50k miles? I can definitely see the fighter pilot attraction in that one.
      3. But... Little Juvat you spell with a capital 'J' which just... confuses me.
      4. My natural state is asleep. I endure wakefulness because of bathroom breaks and the wish to survive Mrs. Andrew's unwillingness to allow me to embrace my natural state. Thus somewhere between 5am and Noon, with a nap in the afternoon to catch an additional hour or so. This is to match Her schedule. Else, well, asleep I'd be.

    2. Little Juvat???? Well that there is a Fighter Pilot! Why wouldn't it be capitalized?

    3. LJ is a fighter pilot? Whut? Did I miss something, says the man who spent all day cleaning and dusting and vacuuming and polishing the family room, including detailing the fire place and FP equipment, only to have Mrs. Andrew point out the large pizza box in the middle of the room that said cleaner had cleaned around. Seriously. There was a pizza box sized hole in my mind. Maybe the Minbari did it...

    4. Fighter Pilot is an attitude, not a specialty code. He’s quite definitely got that. You got that attitude, you’ve got my respect.

      BTW, ALL the people on the masthead above, both pictured and named, fit the bill in my mind.

    5. Yeah, okay I get that. Always have been the 'charge into battle and shoot them in the face' type of fighter, or stab them in the face, smash them in the face, etc. As seen in my horrible victory scores in World of Tank...

      Agree totally on all the masthead people.

  2. Good morning Beans.

    When I was looking at buying my first ever car I considered a Vega, but ended up getting a good deal on a Datsun pickup truck from a Senior Chief Electrician's Mate on Forrestal.
    The truck served me well, but the reason for its demise was because the anti rust tech from the land of the rising sun wasn't up to the rigors of winter in the sun belt.

    And speaking of the weather, we have maybe an inch upon the ground, and a few flakes are drifting down. NOAA thinks we might add a bit less than than on inch to the total before 1300 Philly time.

    Nylon12. We ended up sans French Toast. (sad sigh) We had made for New Year's Morning a Tater Tot Breakfast Casserole from a Pioneer Woman recipe, and the leftover portion is finishing up defrosting on the counter.

    Beans. Hoping that Mrs. Beans feels better and thank you for the post.

    1. Please substitute "salt belt" for "sun belt" I still need to up my proofreading game.

    2. I remember the mid 1970's TO pickups, that had Japanese steel body panels, that would rust out between the dealers, and your home. They eventually got that straightened out. Everything has a learning curve.

    3. Scott. We sold the 1973 Datsun pickup for a pittance when it was 13 or 14 years old and large parts of it were body putty and fiberglass. I don't think that quite made it a red neck 'vette, but close.

      I toasted the Datsun's engine when I tightened a fan belt and didn't notice that the alternator fan was rubbing against the lower radiator hose. No idiot lights in that era, and I didn't see the temperature needle was rising when I was driving to work. (rush hour on I-95 to the Philly Shipyard)
      My wife and I swapped the tired and toasted 1600 cc engine for a used junkyard 2000 cc engine and drove the truck for several more years.

    4. My first drive car was a Datsun B-210 that had... salt issues. The floorboards were rusting out. I replaced them with asphalt roofing tiles silicon-ed in place, which made it real easy, but painful, to get the keys out of the ignition by going through the floor. Definitely made for 55mph highway system, as I could get her to a max of 62mph. Fun car. Eventually crashes and rust took her down. Sigh. Fun car.

      And you could work on her. Got real good at replacing water pumps on her, as that seemed to be an expendable item on that car.

    5. And Mrs. Andrew is okay. The funkiness of her brain post deep bleed means that loud noises, pressure changes and random astronomical events cause her much pain and make her feel bad. Combined with a really bad back and other issues, well, a bad day is a bad day. Batten down the hatches, turn off all extraneous light sources, sound system to minimal, Beans trying to be quiet, etc. She's better today. Helps that the 3-ring circus next door is quiet finally.

  3. I'll echo juvat Beans, learning more of the history of The Chant is good (history prof at university did say that.... "knowledge is good" left THAT out of my notes though). The parents had a Vega too, and I'll echo what my dad said about it, "What a POS!" Well dad was a Chevy guy. Anytime a SR-71 is mentioned, thumbs up! And Mr. Cohen knows how to paint! Nicely done Beans.

    1. Yep, History is definitely good, as long as you learn from it. Vega must be Detroitish for POS. SR-71s, well, thanks to some poster here for killing them off.... but, yeah, getting long in tooth and expensive to boot, but miss them. Dittos on Mr. Cohen. Thanks.

  4. Well done Beans!

    I knew that you could do it. Of course, the wheels on the bus no longer go 'round and 'round.

    As for "Juvat" versus "juvat"? I kinda knew that but I still capitalize it, how OCD of me. Imagine my quandary when I'm answering a bear's comments, do I capitalize the "a"? Argh, gives me fits it does.

    1. Pretty much everything is okay. I mean, I am simultaneously A Bear, a Bear, and a bear. “A bear” is the only sort of odd duck (bear?) but if it’s the beginning of a sentence, what choice do you have?

    2. See comment to juvat about the Little Juvat and confusing the Beans..

      As to a bear, well, a bear is a friendly thing. A Bear is about to make you into bear poop. That's how I take it. And so what if it's the beginning of a sentence? You have the same choice over the Oxford or American comma, whether to start a sentence with 'And.' And it's your blog. Buck would understand and laugh, well, Buck upstairs understands and laughs and sends dagger messages to your Muse, so...

  5. Vega. With the aluminum engine. Left me stranded somewhere near Lake O' The Pines Texas when returning to campus from Spring Break. Thermostat failure blew all the water overboard, a condition which caused said aluminum to shape-shift. Of course nobody was in the dorm, it being break and all. Finally tracked down a Junior who drove up and brought me back, leaving the car off to the side of the liquor store I rolled into when it died. Being a poor college student and not yet a well-to-do Naval Officer, I had no money with which to make purchases from said store to thank them for the use of their lot and pay phone.

    I think it was three weeks later one of my buddies consented to drive up and help me tow it back to school. In the rain. Spent the rest of the semester tearing it apart, finding a shop to re-mill the head and put steel sleeves in the cylinders, and putting it all back together. Still amazed the campus police never towed it from the small "loading & unloading" lot next to the dorm. Just before graduation and commissioning I traded it in on a brand new VW Scirocco.

    I noticed the Vega spent several days on the dealer's hoist before it disappeared......


    1. If they had just hardened the head like the Germans did and do, or sleeved the cylinders right off the bat, or both, or told Carter to stick it up his wazoo, or all three, the Vega would have been okay. Better than the Gremlin. But that time-limited engine was just... crap. Every Vega owner I know has roughly the same story, "Was driving it, engine got hot, engine melted into a puddle of slag, couldn't afford to replace it (or) worked on it. Sold/traded it in on a new POS usually of the Japanese variety (yes, in the 70's the Jap stuff were shite-boxes, economical and easy to maintain shite-boxes.)

      I seem to remember Maj. Gantt saying the engine was worth more as aluminum scrap than as a functioning engine. Of course, his 'other' car was a 12 passenger Dodge Van, so I guess he had to save money somehow.

  6. Are we supposed to remember old posts?
    If so, I’m in deep kimchi.

    1. Y'all commenters don't have to remember old posts, except to point out when we've contradicted our posts in future postings, thus keeping us humble.

      And I got nervous about posting almost same posts. Only media journalists can get away with plagerism or pseudo-plagerism without repercussions. :)

      I must confess... I have never had kimchi. Must try it one day. But I do love pickled okra, pickled beets, pickled artichokes, pickled beans, pickled pickles and so forth. Just... haven't been brave enough to do the kimchi.

  7. Ok, so this post is why OAFS, and the rest of us, love that Beans is a contributor on this blog!!

    I really like the kitty-up-stairs- deterrent set-up. My question is what to do when Velcro Cat can not find Mom, (who is asleep in the bedroom, where VC is not allowed) and is very, VERY vocal about his unhappiness...(have you heard a 2 year old whine? Sorta like that! My kids didn't whine, my cat, he didn't learn THAT lesson well at all!!) So the man of the house, who is not a cat dude to begin with, gets out the water spray bottle, and the fight is on as to who can make whom more miserable...Sigh. Velcro Cat got a major shower last night, Mean Man had to refill his spray bottle even!! Any helpful tips on how to help keep peace on the home front would be welcome. And, no, sending Velcro Cat out to exercise the coyotes is not a helpful tip!!

    Speaking of which, I liked that witch recipe!! Pretty funny!! I, too, know where there is a cord of wood...I stacked it yesterday.
    And I can second the Swedish Tea Ring recipe...that is a family favorite that appears at Christmas for breakfast, and at other special times of the year.

    1. Why can't Velcro Cat just sleep in the room with you? House cats raised from kittens stay at an 'adolescent' mental state about being near 'mommy' so locking them out away is kind of like, well, kicking your neurotic toddler, albeit with daggers on his hands and feet and a mouth that makes sharks jealous, out of your room on a stormy night full of nightmares.

      Or, well, cat will learn, eventually.

      Glad you liked the post.

      My favorite is the Poteca. The special hint is to double the lemon zest so it has more of a citrus zing to it. I didn't make one this year and my mind is telling me that when next I go to the store, yeast and walnuts will be bought and one or more made forthwith. Making a G-F STR for the wife today (only promised somewhere around Thanksgiving, but inertia is a terrible force to fight.)

  8. My neighbor in base housing at Dyess AFB (wonderful place in the middle of nowhere; a typical SAC base but with our MAC wing to lighten it up) had a Vega. He though had made it better by putting a small block V-8 under the hood. Quite a car!

    1. Something about a Vega that encouraged people to put real engines in them. Oh, yeah, it was the crappy aluminum engine that sucked so bad it could fall apart just sitting in a crate. Okay car for the times.

      A V-8 in a Vega? Some people's kids...

  9. Nice post, Andrew. I hope Mrs. A is feeling better.

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

    1. She is, but the impending storm and pressure front, which was building all day long on Saturday, really messed with her head and back. I was just grouchier as my sinuses decided to cause me pain all day long.

      Now she's sleeping to recover from not sleeping. It's a vicious cycle.

      Glad you liked the post. I really enjoyed the whole Andrew thingy way back when. Fun playing with you over that.

  10. Hey Beans;

    Thank you for the history lesson on the Chant, does Old AfSarge know that you are having too much fun doing dunuts with his blog?, LOL

    1. Ooooh, burnouts using Big Girl, whooo!!!

      Alas, my concept of crazy driving is going back and re-running the puddles for fun. And seeing how much stuff I can pack into a van (hint: if the suspension still has a 1/4" of bounce left in it, pack more!)

  11. Good post, Beans!
    Concerning OldAFSarge, you forgot "has a strange affinity for bizarrely-shaped topiary.."
    Concerning the witch recipe (1 Pole, 1 cord of wood, 1 witch, Enjoy!), a question: if one uses a Polish witch, does this count as both the first and third ingredients? I'd think the Pole & witch criteria would both be satisfied. Not being picky, but if I'm going to ignore a recipe, I prefer to ignore a correct one.
    --Tennessee Budd

    1. Well, I think Pawel may have something negative to say about tying one witch to another...

  12. Sorry I missed this post yesterday. That was a fun read! You've probably figured out all our ATM pin numbers and computer passwords too! haha. I liked the witch recipe, but what kind of sauce do you use? And the wood? A nice Douglas Fir, or something heartier, like Oak?

    1. What wood to use for burning witch? Hazel, of course.
      --Tennessee Budd


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