Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Mondays. Gotta Love 'Em


Every now and then I plan on taking a break from writing historical fiction. Not that I've hit a writer's block or anything, it's just that there will be times when I wish to post about something else. This is one of those days.

Monday was, shall we say, interesting.

First I played, where is my laundry?

The Missus Herself  did laundry on Sunday, did it rather late in the day actually. So I was expecting to find my clothes neatly folded, in the laundry basket, in the spare room. When she has time, she actually puts things away. Apparently she had trouble sleeping Sunday night as there was no basket of neatly folded clothes in the spare room.

Rather than look in the places where clean clothes are normally stored, I went hunting. First I went to the living room.

There was the laundry basket, bereft of clothing, it sat forlornly on the floor.

Uh oh, I thought, better check the dryer. So on to the basement I went.

While the dryer did have some clothing in it, they were not the clothes I was looking for.


Yes, exactly.

Going back upstairs I decided to look where the clothes were supposed to be, lo and behold, there they were. So fifteen minutes into the day, I felt like a complete idiot.

Got to work, fired up my unclassified laptop and saw this ...

Your account has been disabled ...

Uh, what?

Hhmm, I changed my password like two weeks ago (every 91 days is the standard here, and yes, for many reasons I think that sucks) so that can't be it.

Eventually my colleague looked up the number for the "help desk" so that I could determine what the "h," "e," double hockey sticks was going on. (Fire trucks might have been mentioned as well.)

After a few long moments on the phone, the nice lady told me, "I put in a ticket for you to get your account enabled."

"Uh, you can't enable it yourself?"

"No, sorry."

Hanging up, I moved to my classified computer. It worked fine, which puzzled the you-know-what out of me.

After an hour of not hearing from "tech support" I called them back.

My company has one of those annoying (and completely horrid) phone systems which have a two-fold purpose. The first purpose is so that they don't have to pay a human being, the second is to discourage anyone from actually using the system. Both are highly effective at those two things. What it's not very good at is actually helping those who call in.

Eventually I got to a human by pressing the "all other inquiries press #" - which went something like this.

"Help desk, how can I help you."

"I'm calling in reference to ticket # 99999."

"Let me look that up for you ..."

"Okay."

"That ticket is still open."

As I couldn't log onto my laptop yet, I already knew that it hadn't been done yet. I resisted the urge to say "No shit, Sherlock." Instead I went with ...

"Okay. How will I know when it's been resolved, will someone call me?"

"Uh, no." Talking to this guy was painful in the extreme.

"So I should try to keep logging in for the rest of the day until I can get in?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Okay."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Mr. Helpful asked, obviously wanting to terminate the call ASAP.

"Well, you haven't really helped me at all, have you?"

"Uh, not really, no."

"No, not really."

"Okay."

Then there was dead silence for maybe thirty seconds until I heard, "You can hang up now."

"Oh, sorry, I was stunned by your lack of helpfulness."

"Okay, bye." And Mr. Helpful terminated the call.

Eventually I was able to log in, but received no notification of that fact.

I was annoyed to receive one of those smiley-face survey emails, asking "How did we do?"

I did answer the survey and let them know that they were no help whatsoever.

Did I feel better?

Yes, a little.

So three hours into my day, I was actually able to access my laptop.

Good times.

Not.

/rant



32 comments:

  1. Even without being paranoid, sometimes it feels like the world wants to jerk your chain.

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  2. And if you do need to call tech support there's that SW Asia accent to deal with..........aaaarrrgh!

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    Replies
    1. Fortunately defense contractors haven't started to subcontract tech support to the subcontinent. Security reasons dontcha know.

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    2. As far as you know. Got any H1B Visa employees? Though being Defense and ITAR and all those other things, there shouldn't be any H1B visa holders. Still didn't stop SpaceX from being sued by potential H1B visa holders. And they almost won.

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    3. There are none, can't get clearances.

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  3. Actually it was just another one of "those" Mondays... Have a better Tuesday!!

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    1. It was most certainly one of "those" Mondays. Best forgotten and left in one's wake!

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  4. Crusty Old TV Tech here. Wise sayings from sages of my youth.

    "THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS WE CAN'T SOLVE (except IT problems)"

    "DISAPPROVED! Resubmit in 30 days for FINAL disapproval!"

    "If they 'upgrade' me one more time, I'll be back to tin cans and a string!"

    "That light you see at the end of the tunnel? It's not a train, it's the Power ON light taunting you with its presence!"

    "You think things are SNAFU'ed now, just WAIT till IT gets ahold of it!"

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  5. My blood pressure is fine, and if I don't dwell on the state of "customer support" my BP will stay that way.
    To borrow from The Princess Bride, "I don't think that customer support means what you think it means."

    Laundry.
    I think I've mentioned before that there is a sort of trash can looking thing with a hole in it on the floor of our linen closet, and if I throw laundry down what I call, The Magic Laundry Hole, the laundry returns cleaned and folded.
    I fear that any investigation may destroy the magic.

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    1. The magic was there Monday morning, I just didn't read the portents and signs correctly. I guess.

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  6. Sarge, I am the sort of paranoid overachiever that lays out the basis of my wardrobe the night before as it will sincerely prevent me from sleeping if it is not. The thought of awaking and the clothing not being there - even though I will not get into them until at least two hours after rising - makes me nervous.

    IT Help Desk - Our internal IT Help Desk is wonderful as we have actual people that I actually know that actually solve things. Anything beyond that is dicey at best. I will say that - for the most part - I found that help desks which involve me my money (saving/investing/spending) tend to be more helpful than those that I am checking for a question about.

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    1. Our help desk is in Texas, most of the company is not. I guess corporate feels it's a good way to spend the money. It only seems to fail when you absolutely need it not to.

      On the classified side, everything is local and things work a lot better.

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  7. "My company has one of those annoying (and completely horrid) phone systems which have a two-fold purpose. The first purpose is so that they don't have to pay a human being, the second is to discourage anyone from actually using the system. Both are highly effective at those two things. What it's not very good at is actually helping those who call in"

    The new business model. You have a simple question but it doesn't fit their list of thirty "commonly asked questions". Then you are transferred to the "help desk" (which is automated). You enter your question and the response shows clearly you are still communicating with a computer program. Nearly a hour wasted with no resolution. Looking at you, Priceline.

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    1. Many companies have gone to this model as it's cheaper than hiring staff. After all, crappy automated systems don't need benefits or pay.

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    2. Part of it, a good part of it, is the push and acceptance of a $15.00/hr min wage by states. Past $10/hr it rapidly becomes far cheaper to automate no matter the hassle. It's one of the few places I don't disagree with the bean counters and MBAs.

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    3. I always disagree with the MBAs and bean counters.

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    4. I had a problem of very secure voice mail system on my new "Old People's Cell Phone". It would save voice mails, but I couldn't access them. Amazingly a very knowledgeable and patient help rep worked with me for 45 minutes talking on my land line while he tried everything he could think of with the phone. Finely he showed me a workaround and said he would write up a ticket to forward to the next level. Lo and behold a week later, another very knowledgeable tech called. She spent another 45 minutes with me but couldn't fix it either. I still have to use the workaround, but it was from no lack of their trying to help on their part

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    5. The good ones are very good. Too bad they're not all that way.

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  8. Sarge,
    Ahhh the stories I could tell about being a IT Staffer and having to call various company's IT Help Line to figure out why their product isn't working. No...We don't get better support. Yes...we still have to answer the stupid questions (Yes, we've checked the power cable is plugged in. Yes, we've cycled the power, several times. No, I'm not going to cycle it again. Etc. Etc. Etc. Ad F'in Nauseum)
    Maybe ChatGPT is the solution. I doubt it, but one can hope.
    Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

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    1. I still have no idea why my account was disabled. As no one else seems to care, why should I?

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  9. Ah, customer service hell, how well I know it. I haven't ever screamed at the top of my rather loud voice at some schmuck and Samwise Patel because they won't listen and they have to follow a script and any deviation from said script requires restarting the script.

    It has become the main reason I use USAA for insurance. Nice real people, usually nice Southern ladies, with clear speaking voices and full working brains and who aren't afraid to joke or tell it like it is.

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  10. So, last Monday (a week ago) evidently the gremlins were very very deep into my home care agency's documentation system.
    I was off, as I learned about 2 decades ago nothing good every happens on a Monday in Health Care so I work my four day week Tuesday thru Friday. So I was hanging out at the hospital waiting for Mom to go into surgery--except no one had told her that she was going to need a couple of units of blood transfused, and because no one had told her, and because she didn't like/trust the night nurse she refused to sign the consent form to get the transfusions, so no ticky-no laundry (or in this case) surgery. After I explained it to her, and she verified it with the doc, and then felt bad cause it put everything off by a day, she got her 2 units of blood and was surgerized on Tuesday. (She came through it wonderfully per the doc, there had been concerns about her making it off the table, and about if, once they got in there, if they could even DO the surgery. But they were and she made it back to the room 3 hours later after her 4+ hour surgery)
    We have had complications since, but so far have been able to surmount each one of them...so far. Yes, she is almost 88.
    No, we are not even thinking of checking MY blood pressure this week...or last week...and probably not next week either....

    Anyhoo--when I called Tuesday afternoon to say "Hi, yes I will be able to work on Wednesday" my supervisor said "do you know who you have on?" I'm thinking, um...no, I haven't looked at the computer, never mind turned it on in like at least 4 days, been a bit distracted...
    So I said well, I usually have X, Y and Z on Wednesdays. Then she tells me the scheduling system has been down since MONDAY. So no one in the office could see what nurses were working, or what patients needed to be seen on what days!!! Plus, the nurses in the field could not access the system to do their documentation--so even if ya know who needed to be seen on your caseload, ya couldn't do any documentation, or check the care plan or the med list...
    The documentation system comes from an outside firm and our IT gal (who is very very good, and reasonably patient with nurses who have not a clue about computers) worked just about around the clock Monday, and Tuesday before getting it sorta up and running on Wednesday. Of course it kept dropping out, but I was able to get in and download my very few patients early Wednesday before the office opened and everyone jumped on, which crashed it, and once my folks for the day are loaded on my laptop, I can work off-line and up-load everything that evening, which is what I did for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Guess they did major work on Saturday, as I couldn't get in at all until late Saturday night.

    So maybe there was some giant gremlins running through the inter-webs trashing everything over the past week...

    Suz

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    1. It happens. I wonder how much software out there is interconnected, probably more than we realize!

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  11. Some years ago, a certain virus protection software company (that a LOT of businesses used) released a "routine" update with a bug in it. It locked out the legitimate users out of their own computers. Worse yet, it interpreted any subsequent efforts at updates and patches as an attempted virus intrusion and would ignore them. The programmers sweated bullets for a couple of days trying to get around the problem of their own making. For some reason, the company stock took an abrupt nosedive (as did the number of clients using their software).

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    1. No doubt released to meet a deadline without adequate testing. DAMHIK

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  12. I got a bunch of diet coke up my nose when I laughed reading "Oh, sorry, I was stunned by your lack of helpfulness." Sarcasm is very near the top of my joke ladder. TBH, I really feel for you. Computer woes seem to take up a significant part of my day, but a tech refresh is coming son they claim.

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    1. Ah yes, tech refresh, giving you the latest in ...

      Nope, it's just new to you.

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  13. *my* employer refuses to allow me to bring my emotional support hammer, Mjolnar, into the workplace with me. Something about electronic medical records, and flinders......

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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