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Having in hand a four day weekend and finding ourselves in need of visiting an office of the Social Security Administration, I consented to traveling with The Missus Herself to lovely Newport, Rhode Island. A gem of a tourist destination which I avoid like the plague between the months of April and September (inclusive).
There are three offices within easy travel distance: Providence, Fall River (MA), and Newport. I abhor Providence in damn near all ways there are to abhor a place. Crowded, nowhere to park without spending money, and just too much traffic. Vehicles driven by a group of people who make the Belgians look like professionals. (Note here, having driven extensively in Belgium, I was not impressed with their driving "skills.")
Fall River, being in a different state, though very close by, just didn't feel like an option. At least in Newport (where you need to take out a second mortgage to afford parking in the summer) the SSA office has its own, dedicated, parking lot. Which, I might add, is free.
Newport is a lovely place, but the tourists are swarming at this time of year. Apparently where they are from it's okay to step into traffic and expect everyone to stop. Add to that the fact that most Little Rhodians are abysmal drivers. Almost as bad as Massholes. (Folks from Massachusetts know how to drive, they just feel that rules are for others. Little Rhodians don't have a clue, not one. A light turning red means, "You've still got time to get through the intersection." A turn signal is as familiar to a Little Rhodian as the dark side of the moon is to New Guinean headhunters of the 19th Century.)
But I digress.
After discovering that after a certain age one could draw full Social Security benefits and still be gainfully employed, The Missus Herself decreed that I would apply. A lot of money arrived and more will arrive monthly until I shuffle off this mortal coil.
After getting that, The Missus Herself asked if I had applied for her benefits. She received a puzzled look in return. Apparently a spouse, who never ever paid in to the system, can also draw benefits.
Long story short, I gooned the online application, it was rejected and apparently the U.S. government's software is so shitty that they couldn't fix it. A phone call to someone who could "fix it" revealed that she probably needed help answering the phone.
Nothing happened, we went on vacation, returned, two weeks passed, crickets chirping in the mail. So to an office to talk with an actual human we went.
Problem sorted and in two weeks they will call to interview her over the phone. This is why government is so damned huge. This is why government is so damned inefficient. There is no such thing as "one stop shopping."
They claim it's to prevent scammers from stealing from the government.
Which, as you might know, happens all the time.
But hey, whatever floats their boat.
Bottom line is mo' money, mo' money.
I can scarcely wait for tax time next year.
Reading this post is a bit like old home week, SSA is where I spent my working stiff life, a branch office in Chicago and a field office in the capital city of my birth state (difference is number of workers in each). Just remember Sarge......"I'm here from the government and I'm here to help"...... :)
ReplyDeleteThe two guys at the office (one security, one worker, it was, after all, the 5th of July) were both very nice.
DeleteSarge, I feel for you slogging through that. We had to go by our local DMV (should have made an appointment, did not) and The Ravishing Mrs. TB commented it was the most depressing place she thought she had been in a long time. Long lines, aggravated people on both sides of the glass...a person had waited something like 3 hours only to find out he was in the wrong queue and needed to restart the process.
ReplyDeleteIt is a good reminder to find a few touchpoints as you can - or like you, find those ideal as they can be offices to make your visits.
Ouch, the DMV. Before they opened a new office it was bad, very bad. Seating for fifty, always full, the "guess which form you need?" game. The new office was far better organized, posters about telling you exactly what you needed. The employees at the new one were far more helpful and efficient. Don't know what caused the change but it was welcome.
DeleteWow, even here in the arsehole of Florida (that being leftist socialist Gainesville) our DMVs are quick and efficient. Take a number, sit on semi-comfortable seats in air-conditioned splendor and usually the wait is relatively short. Most functions are done over the interwebs. Only things like proving real id stuff (providing birth certificates, proof of residency, that sort of thing) and getting one's photo have to be done real-time at an office.
DeleteOf course, our DMVs are run by our local elected tax collectors, so there is a very strong motive to make the places work else the tax collector is unelected.
The way the DMV is run depends a lot on how much the populace is willing to tolerate. Where I go passed that limit, the people spoke and, as if by magic, things improved.
DeleteVisited the 70806 version of same on the day after the glorious 4th on much the same errand. The bureaucrats wanted real, original paper to prove I told the truth on answers to a cuppla ? about work for entities not covered by SS. Argh was greatly anticipated. Shock of my life, almost no one was in the building save those employees who did not make a 4 day weekend of it. Still took 45 minutes but the place was clean, folks helpful and actually had a system to efficiently get the hoi polloi to the person they needed to see. Now why an email with the docs attached, or even better, a portal to submit copies on line (heck even the hidebound Federal courts REQUIRE online filing, no more paper) is not in place is beyond me. Maybe they need to know I am real?
ReplyDeleteOh well, much less painful than anticipated and thus a win. Turning 67 aint all bad...
I had to go to the office after filing online to prove I was real. When we went Friday the guy said that not everyone had to do that, it was random. Lucky me.
Delete"They claim it's to prevent scammers from stealing from the government.
ReplyDeleteWhich, as you might know, happens all the time."
That's called "government contractor." Frustrating as all get out dealing with any sort of bureaucracy, much less the government. One year the company my wife worked for changed payroll companies mid-November. The first company company submitted her earnings to the IRS for 10.5 months.. The new company submitted to the IRS her total earnings for the year. Being good citizens we filed our taxes for that year, submitting the W2 from the 2nd company. Got dinged by the IRS that we had underreported her wages. By roughly a year. Bad people, you owe us X amount of money, plus interest. WILLIAM TARE FOX! Oh! That's the amount she earned though the first 10.5 months! OK, call the IRS, explain. "Sorry, you need to call THIS number." Lather, rinse, repeat 4 times until we are back at the first number. OK, let's try writing. Two weeks later: "Oh, you need to send it to THIS address! No, we can't just walk it down the hall for you. Do you want to set up payment schedule?" OK, 2nd letter off. Two weeks later: "Sorry, you need to send it to THIS address. No, We can't just walk it across the hall for you. When can we expect payment from you?"
It took us THREE years to cut through all of that round robin BS, and that only because we mentioned it to a friend at church who worked for the IRS, and she told us exactly what offices in Santa Rosa to go to. Even Named Names to set up appointments with. Resolved in a day. Got the refunds that IRS had not given us for those 3 years.
A different year we got an unexpected cheque in the amount of $100 from the IRS, "You over paid us $100, we're returning it to you." What? We deposited into savings. The next month we got a letter from the IRS, "You underpaid by $100. You owe us $100 PLUS interest." OK, interest was only about $1.25 or so, but WE had to pay interest on an IRS fornication in a positive Z?
On the other hand, just now she read to me an email from the CA Franchise Tax Board telling her that her password would expire in a month. If you want to fix it now, here are the steps to do so. Walking you through step by step, with pertinent menu words in BOLD to make sure even someone barely literate in computers (like myself) could do it. Will wonders never cease?
One could say Congress fits the description of scammers stealing from the government. Or, stealing from us.
DeleteJoe - It's not always contractors. Have you seen the fake veterans who manage to cheat the VA out of benefits they didn't earn?
DeleteThe IRS is out of control, that's for sure.
Tuna - Congress IS the government, they are stealing from US.
DeleteSarge, the totals of all individuals scamming the government pales compared to what contracts do. I get that the 100 pages detailing the specifications for catsup are an insane burden. Bu $10,000 joysticks that don't work as well as a $40 off the shelf game controller, padding the payroll with extra workers to beef up the costs on "cost plus" contracts, and billing for going back and correcting mistakes costs us far more.
DeleteI thought WE were the government and Congress wS our employees, employees who are embezzling from us.
Most of the contractor theft goes into the pockets of politicians.
DeleteIf you think that we are the government, you just haven't been paying attention.
Mayhaps the death of the Chevron Decision, wherein the Supreme Court (in the death of Chevron) ruled that bureaus, divisions, That Guy Over There, can't make up regulations and rules willy-nilly (and then, of course, be the judge, jury and executioner of said willy-nillies) will slim down the stupidity of the IRS.
DeleteMrs. Andrew got dinged for non-payment of taxes (and the corresponding compound interest piled on from date of non-payment, not date of "We've informed you by seizing your paycheck") because a business she worked for didn't submit her tax info, said business then going under and there was no money for the IRS blood-suckers to suck from said business, so they waited until I got a really good job and then sucked, yes, my first paycheck almost completely away. And then almost getting me fired because I was now a possible troublemaker for not paying my taxes even though I went through a very very very intense background check including financials.
Bastids waited until I had money and then pounced on it. It was looking at my rather empty paycheck info that alerted me and Mrs. Andrew to the discrepancy.
Bastids.
Joe,
Deletemany moons ago, I received a (very large) check from the IRS advising me of the same thing (I had overpaid) and the gubbmint was returning it to me.
While I minored in Math in college, I leave the simple IRS addition and subtraction forms to my accountant: he was worth every penny I paid him allowing me to focus on patient care. I asked him, "What the h3ll do I do with this, return it?"
"No!" he said, "Deposit it." which I did.
Four (4) years later I received a letter similar to yours (I call gubbmint scamming) advising me of interest (huge) and penalties yet (huger!) to the point I said to said acct, "They must think I'm Rockefeller. I hope we're gonna fight this."
He said, "Sure! I know a great tax atty; his initial consult is only 30 grand. Lemme negociate."
It stung - badly! But there was nothing I could do. My acct felt badly (he should) and covered half.
And that wasn't the worst of it - they audited me for the following five years - in detail - as though I had cheated on my tax return.
You were very lucky!
A 4 day weekend, a trip to deal with the Federal Bureaucracy in person and regular money every month for your spouse.... 2 good things out of 3 works most days :-)
ReplyDeleteI never saw regular red light runners until I got to Chicagoland in 1990 but it didn't take long until I figured out that the light turning green (for me) meant wait just a little longer cause a car or three was going too run the red...
Cars without turn signals seem to have been sold most everywhere I end up..
I don't remember seeing many red light runners as I do now, at least here in San Diego, since covid started. People lost their sense of responsibility or something.
DeleteRob - It's endemic here.
DeleteTuna - Covid changed many things, none for the better.
DeleteMaybe the decriminalization of traffic offenses and not paying said traffic offenses has removed the onus of being a scofflaw?
DeleteToo many idiots, not enough cops. So the State said "cameras!" and the people said, "Nope, not paying for that."
DeleteIf you have fond memories of driving in Ft Collins, know today you will think you are still on the East Coast.
ReplyDeleteWow, sorry to hear that. Of course, Ft. Collins looks a lot different now then when I lived there. Folks tell me that the drive up I-25 isn't as rural as it used to be either.
DeleteProgress. Yay.
The last few times I have had to go to the Social Security Office, well, multiple armed guards in the lobby and behind the locked doors, screaming unkept masses (and those were... the workers) and inefficiency as only the FedGov can do.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, somewhat, the State of Florida has assumed many of the responsibilities from the SS Administration so this or that Florida Office of Blah Blah generally is far better than FedGov Office and most things can be done easily by mail or phone. Most things.
Our (Gainesville, FL) office is located next to a shopping center, and usually has little to no parking available as most seems to be employee parking. Again, inefficiency at a FedGov office, who would expect that?
Must have sucked driving an unfamiliar vehicle into the pits of Heck itself. Any word on Blue?
The drive wasn't bad, the Ridgeline is built on the same chassis as the Pilot, just a little stiffer.
DeleteYou should get some kind of special medal for going to Newport in July! And that everyone around you survived is a testament to your intestinal fortitude. If it was me, I'd see some of those clueless pedestrians as 2-pointers, at least. That said, we were at Cape Cod last weekend and - OOF! - just the same. We were there for a family wedding else - we wouldn't go near the Cape with a 10 foot pole until January - which is really the only civilized time to be there at all.
ReplyDeleteWaze took me down all the little streets that the Brits built over 200 years ago, tight, but fewer (not zero) pedestrians.
DeleteAt least getting to Newport doesn't require going through those roundabouts from Hell on the other side of the canal!
My only contact* at SSA is a USAF Maj (Ret). Though he was in the distinguished gentlemen's club, we get along famously. Mutual respect and decorum, ayup. Every question to the point. Every answer unencumbered of verbal flotsam.
ReplyDelete* I prefer it this way. Obviously. When I do call that office, straightway I ask for Tony. Apparently he has pull because every time I call, I am immediately transferred to him. Tony is very much a Can Do man.
Nice story, well written. If you could get back to my free ice cream, that would be great.
We're waiting on a shipment of ice ...
DeleteFor the past two years SSA has been mailing seemingly official documents for someone else to our house. That wouldn’t be so strange, except MB is the original owner and has lived here for 40 years. We have made numerous attempts to correct this because we, and all of our neighbors have absolutely no idea who the intended recipients are. Even taking the documents to the local office didn’t help. It was just a wasre of about two hours time.
ReplyDeleteNext week I get to visit the local DMV to renew my driving “privilege.” That thrills me.
Can they be sued for age discrimination?
SSA itself is a giant monolith. If you can get past the gates, the people inside aren't bad at all.
DeleteBelgian drivers. Some of the worst in Europe. Having driven in Belgium I agree with your description of them, having holidayed in France on many an occasion if ever there was a screaming confrontation over a parking place you could guarantee a Belgian would be involved in some way. I had a 'conversation' in a rural part of France with a French farmer using my rudimentary French and universal male grunting and we agreed that Belgians and people from Paris were the worst. They quite liked use Brits because we at least purchased local food and made an effort to shop local.
ReplyDeleteRetired
They were also horrid on trains. I was with a school group, all the kids had reserved seats. We boarded, the car was loaded with Belgians, none in the right seat. Conductor didn't care, passengers didn't care. No one budged, as a country they're awfully rude. I had a couple of Belgian colleagues at work, their arrogance impressed even the Germans.
Delete