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So here I am, in effect a bachelor for two months. Yup, you read that correctly, two months. The Missus Herself went to Korea with two of her Stateside sisters (she has three sisters who live in the US, one in Korea, as are her two brothers).
The last time she was home was 1997 when her Father passed away. She did get there in time to be with him as he passed to the other side. So her last trip was sad, to say the least.
For the math-challenged, that's twenty eight years ago. Almost three decades since she last visited her homeland. That's a long time.
Two of her sisters (twins by the way) and her had planned this for quite some time, it was just waiting for the timing (and the finances) to all fall into place. Now is that time.
She's been gone three days and I'm already going batshit crazy. Well, not really, except at night, as I have a number of projects to occupy my daylight hours. (Yes, yes, lawn, I'll get to you soon, cutting grass on Labor Day wasn't in the cards.)
But that's not the real story here. No, that story begins the night before her flight out to Las Vegas. (Wait, you said she was going to Korea. Well, she is, but one of the twins lives in Vegas, the other lives in Arizona, "only" 300 miles away. They're all meeting in Vegas before boarding a non-stop to Inchon. Where their oldest sister lives.)
Now the flight schedule was arranged by our youngest, LUSH, who was a Naval Flight Officer (NFO) in her youth. Her husband Big Time, a Naval Aviator, also spent some time as his first operational squadron's scheduling officer, from whence he got his callsign due to his propensity to get pissed off "big time" every time someone requested a change to the flying schedule.
Anyhoo.
LUSH arranged the trip, which she is pretty good at, she knows where to find the cheapest deals and the best routes. Even though some cheap flights occur at the butt crack of dawn.
No, the real butt crack of dawn not my "Dear Lord you want me to get up at 8 AM?" butt crack of dawn. No, her version of that is "the sun ain't up yet but should be in an hour or so."
Yeah, that butt crack of dawn.
So as fortune would have it, The Missus Herself's flight to Vegas was set to depart at 0600 on a Saturday. Yup, a Saturday. Thank God I'm retired or I might have suggested an Uber (after which I would no doubt be permanently a bachelor!)
So I got up early on Friday so as to give me the unlikely possibility of being able to go to bed relatively early Friday night.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ...
Yeah, like that ever works.
'Lo and behold, I was actually quite tired at 2200 hours Friday evening, so I went to bed. I actually fell asleep quickly, something which almost never happens. I slept deep, I slept nicely, I ...
Waking up I thought to myself, "Heck, that wasn't half bad, hopefully it's close to time to get up and take Mama to the aeroporto."
Nope, Non, Nein, Nyet, Iye, Anyo, and not just no, but Hell No.
My eyes glanced at my watch, 2330. I'd been fast asleep for an hour and a half.
Damn.
Mind you, I had the alarm set for 0300 in order to get up and wake up (cold water to the face, coffee to the belly, and a brisk walk on the deck in the chill wee hours usually does the trick). So I did my bizness and went back to bed, thinking "I can sleep another three and a half hours ..."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ...
Yeah, no.
Tossed and turned for a bit and a little after midnight I hear a "ping" from my phone indicating that a text message has arrived. Now in the middle of the night it's never good news, unless it's LUSH who sometimes forgets that Little Rhody is three hours AHEAD of California. During her last visit she looked at the clock, saw it was noon and remarked, "Damn, it's already three o'clock back home." That got her odd looks from everyone else in the kitchen.
Anyhoo.
I rolled over, grabbed my phone and noted, "Yup, I wonder what LUSH wants ..."
Shee-it.
The Missus Herself's flight was delayed.
By two hours and forty five minutes!
No longer would she be wheels up at 0600, nope, now it's 0845.
Looking at my watch, I noted that it was now 0030. Hhmm, so I realized that even though I was wide awake in the middle of the night, I could reset my alarm to 0500 and thereby gain three hours of sleep ...
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ...
Not quite. Though I did get back to sleep (probably around one AM) I awakened again at 0230, then again at 0330, and once more (fire for effect) at 0430, at which point I said "fire truck it" and got up.
To discover that The Missus Herself was already up, she had slept maybe two hours before getting up and not being able to go back to sleep decided to get up. Dang, she's going to have a long couple of days! (Fortunately her flight to Inchon is scheduled to leave at nearly midnight Monday night.) And, unlike me, she can actually sleep on a long flight. A skill I've always admired. I've done it exactly once, on a flight from Tokyo to Honolulu, though I actually passed out as I'd spent the hours prior to boarding drinking beer with a bunch of Marines due to the largess of their Gunnery Sergeant. (Never forget you for that Gunny, thanks! No, really.)
Anyhoo.
Another of my failures is that I don't "nap." I sleep, I go to bed, then no less than five hours later I awaken. Not really napping if it lasts most of the day.
We got the airport, I got home, she got to Vegas and I trust that as you read this, The Missus Herself will be out over the Pacific on her way to the Land of the Morning Calm.
Alrighty then ...
Now what do I do for the next fifty eight days? (That's rhetorical by the way, no suggestions please ...)
Should be an interesting couple of months.
I hope I survive the lack of my wife's civilizing influence. (The Nuke is deathly afraid that I'll go feral, which, knowing me, is always a possibility!)
I do foresee one or two trips to New Hampshire and a long sojourn in Maryland.
Being retired seems to be a lot of work at times.
(Nah it isn't, just kidding.)
Repeat after me "In my defense I was unsupervised".
ReplyDeleteIf you ever get in the Lakes Region maybe we need to have a burger and a beer.
Repeat after me "in my defense I was unsupervised".
Michael, I gotta ask. Does that ever work for you? Never has for me. I’ve learned ( the hard way) just to beg forgiveness.
Deletejuvat
Michael - Sounds like the perfect excuse. I mean after all, I'm not being supervised at the moment, am I?
Deletejuvat - 'Tis better to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.
DeleteMy standard answer tends to be, "Hey, come on honey, you know I'm an idiot, right?"
Juvat when has an excuse EVER worked on a wife?
DeleteBut hey, ya gotta try.
Michael the anonymous
Even as the ship slips under the waves ...
Delete"Butt crack of dawn." Is that Astronomical Twilight or Nautical Twilight? I guess it depends on your Latitude.
ReplyDeleteAnd your suspender load divided by the belt hole stretch cubed.
DeleteJoe - Well before twilight, well before. It's that "darkest hour before the dawn" thing.
DeleteSTxAR - Mathematical precision, I like it.
DeleteSarge, I know what you said, but….WRITE THE BOOK! 58 days 5 pages a day… Write at 3 AM or Noon or 9PM or whenever the Muse rejoins with your brain and computer!
ReplyDeleteJust sayin’
juvat over and out!
Yep, you have time to write! Time to play the drums, time to read a book, time to play a game, you have time to paint the pieces of the game!
DeleteOr just time to sleep in ...
"Time " just like Burgess Meredith.
Deletejuvat - Having the time isn't always aligned with having the motivation. Also gotta have the material.
DeleteBut yes, I shall endeavor to persevere.
Rob - Exactly, and I'm doing all of those.
DeleteJoe - Excellent reference. I might have cried after watching that episode.
DeleteAh, one of THOSE nights Sarge, somewhere in all that gray matter tween the ears it was determined sleep was a four letter word. Your posts over the next fifty eight days will be closely monitored to observe your descent into Neanderthal status.......:)
ReplyDeleteYes, that happens all too frequently. Body wants to sleep, brain wants to wonder if I turned the stove off. And other such topics.
DeleteNow there's an idea for a post some weeks down the road. 😉
What is it about knowing that ya have to be someplace important early in the morning, even though I set TWO alarms to be sure I don't sleep through them, still means that I basically nap all night long. Wake every hour or so. And I am a morning person. No caffeine needed to wake me up. Typically on my own about 5:30ish. It's just not fair. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
ReplyDeletePrayers that Mrs. Sarge has a nice flight, and a wonderful trip catching up with all her siblings. And gets back safely!!
Suz
Exactly! I have to my certain knowledge slept through an alarm exactly twice in my life.
DeleteIf I set the alarm, I know that I will wake up at least an hour before that. We must be related somehow!
As I write this, she and her sisters are still 2 and a half hours out of Inchon. That is a very long flight. (I've done it a few times.)
It's the last hour beforehand lying wide awake waiting to pounce on the alarm clock. Easier to just get up.
DeleteIt’s an even longer flight from Moody AFB Ga to OSAN AB ROK strapped in to an F-4. Moody to Hickam. Hickam to Osan. I don’t think I sat down for a week.
Deletejuvat
Across the Pacific... the last time we flew back from Hawaii it was daytime and I had a window seat. After a few hours I put the book down and look out the window ... all that nothingness is a good reminder of just how big the Pacific ocean is!
DeleteRob - The immensity of it is daunting. During the time I spent looking out there, I was reminded of the guys at Midway, searching for the Japanese fleet. Their task was hard, yet they did it.
DeleteDon - That's my philosophy, "I've got another hour, nah, I'll just get up now."
Deletejuvat - As I wrote that I remembered your tale of flying to Osan AB, big ocean, little jet.
DeleteSarge. I empathize. I will be in a similar situation in October, with The Ravishing Mrs. TB going to the Far Abroad for a month (and I will be out the week before, so really five weeks).
ReplyDeleteEarly morning flights are the worst. I try to not book them if I can anymore; the whole "Up at 0X00" thing wears on you after a long day of travel. And sleep recovery? We went to a concert that ran rather late on Saturday night after a late night Friday airport pickup; it took me all of Sunday and a no-work Monday to recover.
I understand there are those who are "morning people," I'm not one of them. I have learned not to mention "having to get up early" around morning people. They think of my early as "sleeping in." Morning people (sorry Suz) - Bah Humbug!
DeleteThat's okay Sarge...Us morning larks can make sure the coffee is hot and ready when you night owls finally rise and try to shine.
DeleteBesides, I am retired now...I might get up at 5:30, go pee and then go back to bed for another hour and a half before I call Dad every morning to be sure he is up and doing. Yes, my morning genes are a family thing...but, hey, it's worked for him for 96 years so what the heck!
My trouble is I get sucked into a good book and now that I am no longer a working stiff, I can stay up late reading...
Suz
Staying up late reading is one of my "vices" as well.
DeleteI was supposed to go to Japan for 6 weeks. The company folded 2 weeks before take off. We had fambly plans and we stuck to that schedule, even though I was starting a new job. Man, that was a bit stressful. No fam, new job, but I lived through the 6 weeks. I was a bit feral but still managed to not burn down the house. It was touch and go. Built a new kitchen table from scratch in the dining room, and put in shelves. It was a sawdust nightmare for a couple months. That stuff floated everywhere..... No hiding that...
ReplyDeleteHhmm, build a kitchen table ...
DeleteHow many cement blocks and sheets of plywood should I get?
Not saying that I can't do that, just saying that I probably won't.
Assuming the classic 4x8 sheet of 3/4" interior grade plywood (you can get nice relatively smooth edges with use of router and/or sander) and wanting the table at roughly table height, and going by the classic 16"x8"x8" cinder block, first course being 2 of the classic double cinder block, next course is 2 of the single cell blocks and 1 double block, next course 2 double blocks, that gets you to the bottom of the table at 24", which is a tad short, so you can top the standard height blocks with solid half-height blocks.
DeleteTherefore, 10 standard double blocks, 4 standard single blocks, 4 solid half double blocks.
There you go.
I should have known you would have the answer. This ain't your first rodeo, is it? 😂
DeleteWell, I've used cinder blocks to prop up beds so I can use the space underneath for storage. And, yeah, pretty simple math.
DeleteYou're a handy fellow to have around!
DeleteWhile my wife might relish two months away from me, I would go stir crazy, probably eat horribly, and become a bit lonely. Facetime might save me from ruin, but I hope to never have to find out. Probably won't, since my wife's sisters only live north, not across the pond. Best of luck Sarge, call if you need a friendly voice.
ReplyDeleteI have tentative plans to sail up the Connecticut River and sack a village or two. Maybe. Sometime late September, early October.
DeleteNah, just kidding.
Some interesting challenges await! Food might be "interesting" for the next few weeks, resulting in starvation, ptomaine, or to avoid waste by eating what might otherwise be leftovers and necessitating a new wardrobe.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide will be fine. Because- "In my defense I was unsupervised"...
Best wishes for The Missus and Sisters to enjoy this rare reunion.
JB
English muffins for breakfast, sandwiches for dinner, unless I get ambitious and get something microwaveable. My doc thinks I'll survive. I mentioned all this to her at my annual physical this morning. She did advise me to dust off the exercise bike. While I have lost ten pounds since I retired, I could stand to lose more. So when I go to the beach people don't start reporting a beached whale. 🙄
DeleteYou do know how to make rice, right? Add some already cooked pot roast or chicken on top and you have a halfway decent meal there.
DeleteOr you could take some chopped up meat (beef, pork or chicken) and cook said meat in some water and use the water as part of the rice water. Add rice, add the cooked meat, add some peas or mixed vegetables, cook as if you're doing regular rice, and, poof, nicely flavored rice.
Saffron rice cooked with chicken and peas makes a good meal.
All of these are easy bachelor meals. Make enough and you have microwavable meals for a day or two.
Oh dear, this is an Asian household, we don't mix anything with our rice. That would be heresy!
Delete(Does sound tasty though. As a point of order, I can cook, I choose not to.)
I've taken to throwing frozen peas into the rice/water in the rice cooker, hitting the button. My spouse likes frozen peas, I don't mind them mixed in to something.
DeleteYum, love peas. Hated them as a kid. Odd that.
DeleteDon't know what I'd do without Mrs. Andrew gone for two months. Of course one of the first things would be to throw out all the carp and useless stuff, then wipe the walls and floors and ceilings down with a bleach solution, then clean and repack the kitchen. Do all the smelly noisy things that are objectionable at this time with Mrs. Andrew in the house.
ReplyDeleteOr, well, go crazy and lazy.
Sounds better in Latin - Insanus et Ignavus. I shall have to engrave that over the entrance to the kitchen.
DeleteWell, this won't work for you and my vote is to go feral but that said, I recall my dad found himself in this condition in Newport when we all beetled off to Pennsylvania for a week. When we came back home every single copper pot gleamed as if somebody had been shining and polishing them without stop for the last week. My advice, 2 months, start a book, a long book. Head over to the beach and walk the field there and study the Battle of the Atlantic. It laps ashore every second or so somewhere. We sometimes talk about digging out one of the basement walls for an underground shooting range.....2 months, the possibilities are endless. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'll spit shine all of her shoes. After all, she started it.
DeleteI learned early on how to sleep on a plane. There were times on C130's I was out of it before we took off and the landing a little over an hour latter would wake me up.
ReplyDeleteI nice skill to have, I never developed that.
Delete