Sunday, January 25, 2015

Death and Love

Arlington National Cemetery at Dusk on New Year's Eve, 2014
Death never seems to be far away. People die every day. Sometimes after long and fulfilling lives. Sometimes after lives that were cut far too short.

This subject has been weighing very heavily upon me these past few days.

My friend Buck has been gone for over a month. I still miss seeing his comments. I'll go to his place and wander through his old posts, remembering.

Then today this, over at Skipper's place, the news of a young man lost far too soon. A young man whose parents are friends of friends.

I cannot begin to imagine the grief of his parents. I cannot pretend to "know" what they are feeling. I pray every day that I never know that pain.

The fear of losing a loved one is ever present. Most of us try not to think about it, we push it away and hope and pray it doesn't happen to us or to people we're close to.

But it does. And it hurts.

They say that time heals all pain.

They're wrong in one sense, that pain stays with you until the day you die.

Our sincerest hope is that when we die, we are reunited with our loved ones in the "sweet by-and-by." It's what I believe. It's what I hope.

I do not fear my own death. We all die.

I fear the death of those I love.

So, does one not love in order to avoid that fear?

No. For then this life would be truly pointless. And I know in my heart of hearts that it is anything but pointless.

We're born, we live and then we die. Hopefully, somewhere in there, you find people to love, people who love you.

So yes, mourn those who have passed. But remember their lives and how much they enriched your own life.

Without love, life is a living death.

I've been there, I don't ever want to go back.

Dawn, the 15th of January 2015.
Another chance to celebrate life.


  1. Very well done, Sarge.

    Mourn and remember, yes. Then drive on. Keep a piece of the fallen in your heart. If you let them, they will help sustain you in your hours of fear. They will shine a light for you.

    1. There's always a piece of them alive in me. Always.

  2. You never get over losing a loved one; you just get used to it. Sometimes the hole they leave behind gets partially filled with memories and new experiences, but the hole will remain in some part. I see that hole as a reminder of love shared; of memories that, with time, grow more comforting. Tomorrow will mark the 20th anniversary of my beloved daddy's passing and to say that I feel every nerve is open and exposed - would be an understatement. Time - passes; it does its work, grinding away the harsh edges of grief. But the grief - remains.

    1. Well said my sister.

      I will keep you in prayer and in my thoughts tomorrow. (And always...)

  3. Somewhere I read this: "The problem is, you think you have time." -Budda
    (Perhaps . . . perhaps not.)

    1. It never goes completely away, the grief. Often, I come upon my wife just standing and staring at the wall. I know that she's thinking about Tommy. I'll touch her to let her know that I'm there . . . then I leave her to her private grief.

    2. Well said Snuffy.

      Sometimes just to let others know that you're there is all you can do. But it helps.

  4. Sarge, I'm touched by how well you said that. But yes, we're left with holes in our lives, formerly filled by those who loved us and helped shape us. The best we can do is to console ourselves, remember and honor those we've lost, and carry on for those whose lives we've help shape.

    And remember 1 Thessalonians 4:13.

    1. 13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

      Thanks Rev, I truly needed that reminder.

  5. Lost a cousin many years ago to an accidental gunshot wound. He was ten. Miss him more than the many relatives I've had pass, because of the life he didn't get to lead.

  6. "I fear the death of those I love."

    Yet, if we are like anyone else, we are grateful to have the opportunity to love them and have them love us.
    I won't trade anything for that.

    What everyone has said about the death of the young, particularly if they are our own children... there are no words to express how that loss is felt.
    It is even felt more exponentially when one is alienated from them.

  7. Truly sad, a child should NEVER die before the parents...

  8. dealing with being and not being is why we invented religion.We have all kinds. I find myself closer to Buck's chosen because I mistrust an angry God. We knew him through the traces he left behind. We shall not see his like again. Abide and be at rest.

  9. Wow, well said!! And very touching!


Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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