Thursday, March 19, 2015

Yup, That's Right

Photo by A.F. Bradley, 1909 , Public Domain
Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs신사 숙녀 여러분, meine Damen und Herren presented here, for your examination, edification and amazement are the following, mind-boggling, statistics. (Lies? Damned lies? Who knows? It's beyond my ken!)
A weeks worth of your guess is as good as mine
The 18th of March
Now I'll be the first to admit that I like to think I'm "okay" at this whole blogging thing. I am seldom surprised when one of Juvat's marvelous "There I was...*" posts gets a lot of hits. Nor am I surprised when the incomparable Tuna gets a lot of hits for one of his clever and always (more or less) "completely different" posts. I get that.

But me? While I expect my faithful and loyal readers (all twenty-seven point five of you, statistically speaking of course) to clamor with breathless anticipation and joy for my latest mindless drivel erudite and charming scribblings about my day, my family, ma vie militaire and what have you, it still surprises me to see these high page counts.

Now I'm quite sure that many of those "views" are generated by the hundreds of slavering spam-bots trying to breach the fortifications, ramparts, rifle pits, land mines, miles of barbed wire, spider holes, trenches and what-have-you but who are always brought up short by the aforementioned defenses. They leave their festering corpses strewn upon the glacis and horn works but only cause the page view counter to climb and climb until I feel like some sort of modern day Walt Whitman. Loved and admired by all.

No, no, no, no. WALT Whitman.

Though Slim Whitman is alright in my book, he's not who I had in mind.

Besides which, I can't yodel to save my life.

Well, truth be told, if my life was at stake I would do my best to yodel with the best of them. (Just who the Hell are "they", the infamous and ubiquitous "them"? I want to know. Damn it!)


The page views keep coming and I thank you all.

The new project that I was going to bitch about yesterday, but didn't, is causing me to lose a lot of blog time. We've gone to this "new" 9/80 schedule at work. (For "gone to" read "had shoved down our throats." This was very much a non-voluntary thing.) What that means is, we work nine hours a day Monday through Thursday. In the first week, on Friday, we work eight hours. The second Friday we have off. "9/80" - putting in 80 hours in just 9 days. Sounds good doesn't it? Every other weekend is a three day weekend.

Well sure, on paper it's okay. But the nine hour days really cut into my free time. Less free time means less time to blog.

Okay, some of you would probably like that. (Thank the Good Lord Sarge doesn't have any new crap posted today...)

That probably breaks some of your hearts...

No? C'est dommage.

I am sorely tempted to say that I'll be back soon with "more better stuff," but I know that Suldog would be all over me with lawyers, guns and money. We don't want that.


Bald wieder mit mehr besser Zeug.




  1. Lawyers, guns and money? Me? First off, I don't have the money, so that also takes care of the lawyers. As for guns, well, yeah, but I like you. You're entirely welcome to be as illiterate as I am.

    By the way, I don't know who "they" are, either, but we have narrowed it down slightly. We know they're Protestant and live somewhere west of Worcester. As I learn more, I'll keep you up-to-date.

    1. West of Worcester? There are people west of Worcester? I mean, I know there are people in New York just west of the Massachusetts line, but IN Massachusetts?

      Huh, whoda thunk it?

    2. Wait a second.....
      I'M west of Worcester. There you guys go, gettin all "flyover country" agin. Us'n bitter clingers'll get all riled up you keep talkin that stuff!

    3. Oh THOSE people west of Worcester!

      There's a reason it's called "flyover country" - I flew over all of it a coupla weeks ago. It's big out there, too big for we East Coast intellectual types to grasp.

      (Really Juvat, you're SOUTHwest of Worcester. Or is that SSW or WSW or, heck, I dunno...)

  2. BRAVO ZULU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. It's the hook. You know, the first few lines of your post that draws the reader in. Since some of us use Blog Reader, we see the first few lines, and then we head over to your blog - if we like what we see. Maybe it means you are a good hooker.

    1. Heh.

      I'll have to remember that Lou. (Good hooker, that right there is blogging GOLD!)

    2. I shall have to remember that Skip. (Would the word "nude" work, or is that too high brow?)

    3. I'm pretty sure if you use the words "naked", "nude" and "hooker" in a single post, we'll be well over a million page views by this weekend. Heck, even having them in the comments will probably spike us. Since my office mate is the guy that watches our filtering software, I wonder what I'll hear when I push publish on this. More to follow.
      Before I do, though, anybody know anybody that's hiring? Just in case.......

    4. Ah yes, I do believe Juvat has the trifecta!

  4. Interesting the #2 country was Ukraine, eh?

    1. I read a blog out of Ukraine by a transplanted Canadian (I think), The Blogfodder. Maybe that's why???

    2. I get a lot of Ukrainians, too.
      The main difference between your graph and mine is I get excited when there are 50 pageviews in a day.
      So, maybe I'm wrong about naked?

    3. I dunno Skip, but if it helps, "naked" is "голий" in Ukrainian.

    4. I get a lot of bits from the mid east from Googling "Cranky man noodles piglets!"

      I don't even want to know.

    5. Ouch Joe. Kill it with fire!

  5. I had to go look at a map.
    North Oregon and Washington are West of Worcester.
    I just missed the cut.

    1. I suppose you are in the "flyover" part of California.

      Aren't you on the approach to SFO?

    2. If you consider the planes at 30k to be on approach.

  6. Less time to blog? You have a whole extra day now! You just need to be very very creative and prolific on that every other Friday. Don't look to the rest of your staff to work harder. We're union and the rules don't allow us to do more. Sorry, take it up with my Union Rep.

    1. Damn!

      Okay, how'd you find out? Do you guys have the boardroom bugged? Security, we need more security!

      I thought of that whole blog my butt off on Fridays but then...


      Damn, I'm fresh out of excuses...

  7. That change in work schedule would make it very hard for working parents who have to get their kids and run them all over. But i'm sure "maglement " doesn't give a rip about that.

    1. As a matter of fact, I have friends (with kids who require hauling around) express that same concern.

      "Maglement" (love that) at that level does not care, they are as clueless a bunch of MBA-toting clowns as I have ever seen. You'd think they worked for the Federal gubmint!


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Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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