A post in 6 parts.
Ch 1. Una petición de Suz!
A while ago, I had posted a picture of LJD* in Christmas Garb near a Christmas tree. My favorite Nurse, Suz, whom I've never met in person, commented with a wish for a photo without any "Purple Gloves" in it. For non-medical personnel, or others who have not visited a Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) on a regular basis, Purple Gloves are required for handling a Premature infant in that facility. Germs and other Nasties, being detrimental to the health and well-being of these youngsters, makes them required. Given that, I present the following.
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| No Purple Gloves, Suz! |
Ch2. Graduación Procesional
If you listen carefully (i.e. crank the volume), you'll hear "Pomp and Circumstance" being played over the intercom. Graduation from there is a big deal for parents obviously, but the staff needs it also. Not all departures are optimal. Fortunately, this one....
Ch 3 Viajeros
All good things must come to an end. It's been great having Little J home, even given the circumstances and despite the good ending, but...He's got to go back overseas. Unfortunately, given LJD's near term medical requirements, she can't go with him. This also means that LJW will be staying with us. Best estimate on being approved for travel is Summer. It's a good news/bad news thing. We certainly look forward to spending more time with our Granddaughter and DIL, but...They'd both be better off with Dad.
We'll do our best to fill in.
This comes to mind.
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| Exercising |
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| Getting Dressed |
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| Napping |
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| Breathing |
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| Getting O2 from the atmosphere to enable breathing |
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| O2 to enable breathing while traveling |
But the reward is worth it.
Thank you, Lord.
Ch 4. Sí, Frijoles, celebramos!
So. Mission successfully completed, I decided this event merited opening a bottle of the "Good Stuff".
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| 1986 Chateau Montelena Cab Sauv |
For the record, I bought this when I received orders to report to F-15 RTU (training), Little J and LJW were 2. Thought I'd save it for a good occasion. This is about as good as it gets.
Yes, Beans, it was Excellent! Went quite well when paired with Barbecued, over Mesquite coals, Rib Eyes and Baked Potatoes.
Ch 5 Qué triste
Unfortunately, this past week, we also had some not quite "Special!" activities to handle. We had to locate Mrs. J's Sister's important papers. You know, things like Wills, Final Instructions, Financial info. You know, that sort of stuff one somewhat takes for granted. "I'll get to that tomorrow" kinda stuff.
Extremely unpleasant activities, but unfortunately, necessary.
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| All we knew was that the papers were in the house somewhere at the time of the fire. |
Fortunately, we were able to find her fireproof safe, in a mostly intact condition. By mostly intact, I mean the documents inside, while singed, were readable for what we needed.
Folks, lesson learned here. Let people know where your documents are and who wrote them. Estate Folks and Lawyers keep copies of those documents. Another few minutes in that fire, there would have been nothing left and since she was pretty much a recluse, finding someone with a copy would be nigh on to impossible. Please think that one through. Mrs. J and I have decided while we have the kids and their spouses here this week, we're going to have a show and tell session. We think they know what they need to know, BUT.....
I've lost several friends while in the Air Force. Searching through the ashes and debris of that house was much harder than that and harder than I thought possible. Finding her dogs was heart breaking.
Ch 6. Terminado
To end on a much (much, much) lighter note, I received a really fine Christmas present from the Kids this year.
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| Had to try out Froth, OKNG! |
I'm a pretty big coffee drinker, preferring Iced Coffee between Mar and Oct (it IS Texas!) and Hot, Black, Strong Coffee (maybe with a drop or two of milk, and I DO mean drop) the remainder of the year. They gave Mrs. J and I a Nespresso machine. It's got Frou-Frou attachments for those so inclined, yet creates strong, full bodied, straight black coffee for me. My only complaint regarding it? It's got a rather small water reservoir. About 8 oz, or about a half filled coffee cup for me. If I could figure out how to attach it to the house's water supply so all I have to do is put the coffee pod in and push the button, I'd be in hog heaven. Refilling the (smallish) reservoir is a PITA, IMHO, YMMV. (Any other acronyms that might fit?)
But the coffee is really good! The Kids did it right. If you haven't got a Nespresso, I highly recommend it.
Peace out, y'all. Take pity on your Executor and keep your papers in order and inform them on location. You and they will then be able to do this.
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| LJD wore her out! |
* LJD--Little Juvat's Daughter. AKA My Son's Daughter or My second Granddaughter.
Really good to hear ch2..... was wondering about that distant hullabaloo from way off South. Ch.4 reveals a supply train larger than D-Day while ch.5 is a big one, loved ones need to know where to look and for what. Thanks for the update juvat.
ReplyDeleteNylon,
DeleteThanks, Yeah, we were pretty nervous until we found the safe (and its mostly intact contents). Suffice it to say Familial conflict might have been prevalent had we not had specific guidance.
Your advice about getting one's documents in order resonates because even though we considered ourselves squared away, it took the events associated with my ageing in-laws to make us wake up, smell the coffee and get our talking with family done, the paperwork done and copies in the hands of the designated family members.
ReplyDeleteI had my first experience with Nespresso a few months ago and what you said is true.
Great news about the little one.
JiP,
DeleteYeah, the talking about it IS the hardest part isn't it. Less so for the older ones, the inevitable well...is. The younger ones don't have quite the deeper understanding. We'll see how it turns out. I've got great kids and have confidence in them, but...they are human.
Yep, Sipping on a Nespresso Espresso right now. PDG!
Thanks
Great news about the little one & the ungloved hands! I'm impressed that you found the legal papers and they are still readable, sad that you had to.
ReplyDeleteRob,
DeleteYeah, she had a lot of books (first edition Stephen Kings dang it!) that scattered all over the place in the post fire wind. Few were legible, thus worry was starting to creep in. Mrs. J found the safe and it was in bad shape. Fortunately she insisted we take it with us back to my workshop to open. BP went down quite a bit when we got it open and could read most of the contents. As I said, a few more minutes...
The Nuke has a Nespresso machine, love it!
ReplyDeleteGreat news on LJD being out of the hospital.
Sarge,
DeleteThanks Boss!
Yeah, It's officially my "Go To" coffee maker now.
Stupid dust in here. Makes my eyes water...thanks for sharing the video, Juvat. Truly heart warming.
ReplyDeleteHuh. There are wines out there that are still not as old as I am (but approaching). Maybe, someday, I will have something as good as you did to celebrate.
Papers: All super good pieces of advice. I would add to keep updated on who wrote them (lawyers and financial planners retire and get out of the business) and have them reviewed periodically for updates or corrections. Even with my parents' trust, we found some things that should have been corrected years ago.
We have a Nespresso as well. We do not use it as much as we did when we first got it, but it is nice to just be able to make a single cup of coffee well.
Prayers up as you continue to work through your family's loss.
THBB,
DeleteYeah, had a few eye tearing moments lately (I blame it on pollen, Fighter Pilot doncha' know)
I don't know about you, but there are a LOT of wines out there "not as old as I am". A lot less that are "Older". (I knew what you meant, just pulling your leg. I mean I've NEVER, EVER, NEVER thought one thing and typed another. Nope, Not Never!)
Thanks
Juvat, this is the hazard of me stopping at The Chant prior to coffee fully taking effect...
DeleteTHBB,
DeleteI have a Nespresso machine that you can use when you stop by! ;-)
Very good update. I have an old suburban. My travels over new years nearly didn't happen. I had to take a couple breaks just packing the stuff. There was room from one other person and an army trunk when I finished packing the "required" list. Sheesh. My travel bottles are E size, and that blue device is all too familiar. Everyone needs oxygen. Not just the ELO song either. And I am very glad I made the trip. It was worth it. Got to meet some amazing people. Sometimes the kids grow up into interesting people. Who knew there were so many in my family?
ReplyDeleteRe: the fire. Heart wrenching. I'm glad the docs were findable, if only to keep the peace. I started that book of numbers, letters, deeds, wills, etc but never finished it. Now that the status change is almost complete, I can start..... all over again. Some things are just distasteful, but necessary. Once done, I imagine the burden lifts and the sun comes out.
STxAR,
DeleteStuff DOES expand to fill available space, doesn't it? One of the immutable laws of nature. Glad the Family visit went well. It has been fabulous having the family in the general vicinity lately despite the reasons. Have high hopes that Little J is approaching a point in his career where overseas posting isn't required. But that's just me, still being a dad.
Yeah, finding the safe our BP went down several points. Finding readable docs within...Priceless! (as the commercial says). Still a lot of hurdles left in the race, but that was a big one.
Sun coming out...sounds nice!
A combination of good and sad in your post. Most excellent on the little one; brought a smile to my face. :-)
ReplyDeleteSad on going through the remains of Mrs J's sister's home.
FWIW, I keep a complete spreadsheet listing and electronic copies of any and all accounts/documents/legal-papers/etc on two separate encrypted (256-bit AES) USB drives. Each is in a separate location in a fire-resistant box in a fire-resistant safe. I ensured my children know where each is located and had them memorize password and safe combo. My intent is in case of fire, at least one data repository should survive and, as the saying goes, "Two is one and one is none".
Importance of wills...my wife's youngest son died suddenly this past June. No will and it took almost six months for her to gain Independent Administrator status. USAA casualty assistance team was useless until she was appointed Ind Adm. Due to legalities, they shut everything down but would/could tell us nothing. So...we had to wait for hard-copy notices to arrive in the mail stating yet another bill was overdue since auto-payment was shut down. Invested over $20,000 out-of-pocket paying off his bills/mortgage/lawyers/etc until she could access her son's accounts. Eye-opening and extremely frustrating experience that has us both re-looking our affairs in event of death. I will ensure funds are available to ensure my children are not financially drained while they close out our legal affairs.
My condolences on you and your wife's loss. Indeed heartbreaking.
-Barry
Barry,
DeleteWow! Sorry to hear about your Wife's son. I can only imagine the frustration and "Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda" levels experienced in that episode. My condolences.
Your USB drive plan seems like a good idea and I assume one of the "separate location"s is off site. Little J works computer security and had also recommended a program called Keeper. It's essentially a password manager, but also has the capability to store other data in each record. Names, places, file names etc. Works better than any other like program I've used. It also automatically encrypts the data and backs it up on the web. Which means it should be accessible to successors. The encryption/security also involves sending an access code to specified phone numbers adding an additional level of security. Having a bit of computer security background myself, that was the selling point for me. Think I'm going to implement a version of your USB plan also though. So, Thanks.
I am so glad for all of you that LJD is out of the hospital!! That brought some tears of joy to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteAs to wills and papers, most younger folks don't think of it. I realized the need after I got married the first time and my late ex and I did our first wills down at the base legal office. Back then, I was a C-130 driver. Barry has some good ideas about back up that I might follow.
BillB,
DeleteThanks.
As I recall, wills were required by the AF and also required to be updated on PCS or birth of a child or change in Marital Status. All good ideas and probably a good requirement as Young apparently equals immortal until proven otherwise. Nowadays, the inevitable seems more possible.
Unfortunately.
Juvat, bittersweet events continuing since your last blog entry, but with LJD being back in the family and finding Mrs. J's sister's directional papers I hope the sine wave pattern is on a continuous upward leg. From the pictures it's evident LJD is receiving the love and attention that leads to a happy childhood.
ReplyDeleteRead an article couple of days ago that forecast the "potential" for another polar vortex event in about three weeks. My mental response was Uggg.....here we go again...if it occurs hope it's short and temps. stay at or not much below freezing.
Cletus
Cletus,
DeleteThanks. It's been great the past few days. Spending a lot more time with LJD than was possible in the NICU has been educational on several levels. (The NICU has a no more than two visitors at a time policy. I get it but wish it were different. Little J and LJW obviously wanted as much time as possible with her. So we visited once a week to give them time off for "necessities".) Now we get to spend as much time as we wish. Learning a bunch more about her and her personality is starting to come through. Love it! So...I think the Sine Wave is definitely upward trending now. Please, Lord, let it continue.
Polar Vortex? Thanks for the heads up. Gotta go re-wrap some pipes. Is it March yet? looking forward to Iced Coffee instead of winter coffee.
Got to help a friend clean/search the property of her parents, where she lost a brother and a father (and led to the loss of her mother later, sad, very sad) so I know, kinda, how you feel. Horrible stench, burnt building is.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on LJD and successful move of LJW and LJD.
Just realized, good thing LJ doesn't have two sons (yet) as one could be LJS and the other LJB or LJT (Son, Boy, Three.) Quite the naming trend possible.
That bottle was bottled the year I was married. No, juvat, I don't feel old realizing that. I do feel old when the knees creak and scream whence removing myself from the porcelain throne, if'n you know what I mean.
Beans (AKA Frijole) (just in case you missed that ;-0 )
DeleteFortunately, the deviated septum procedure I had last summer has pretty much killed my sense of smell. Mrs. J commented on it however. Life's little blessings I guess.
Thanks.
In the real world, vice the blogosphere, LJ's son would be #4 as both My Father, He and I share the same name. One hopes that occurs for some reason or another.
Knees and Neck are my reminders. And yes, yes I do.
I'm so happy she's home. Now comes the scary alarms that go off because some sensor came loose, but that's just part of the good process of having her with you all. I remember the middle of the night heart attacks when the alarm shrieks because the O2 sensor came off of my son's foot, but the panic eventually subsided. I'm sorry Dad doesn't get to be there too, which also reminds me of how I had to go back on deployment. Best of luck to the now mostly complete family. And thank God for answered prayers.
ReplyDeleteTuna,
DeleteYeah, they got an old version of the respirator control. Whatever O2 level is set at, if the level goes below that at all or for even an instant, the alarm goes off. That gets old pretty fast and IMHO is dangerous, as it would be easy at Oh-Dark-Thirty to say, it's just a false alarm. Which would pretty much guarantee it isn't.
Thanks.
Great news for LJD, sorry for your loss. And yes, most of us had to leave our loved ones with a little one and go 'over the horizon' so to speak. Sadly, you can never get those days/weeks/months back.
ReplyDeleteOldNFO,
DeleteNo, you can't unfortunately. It is interesting to talk to them however and listen to their stories about those events. I always thought I'd be the "bad guy" who left them to go play. However, it's mostly Dad had to go do his job somewhere else and when he came home he brought us "Stuff". Some of that "Stuff" is prominently displayed in their abodes, so I guess things were ok.
My important documents are in a waterproof plastic envelope in the freezer compartment of my refrigerator.
ReplyDeleteWSF, Apropos of nothing whatsoever, the Insurance Adjuster asked us to photograph all the appliances and other furniture and fixtures or the remains thereof. Her combo fridge/freeze didn't survive. Neither did her washer or dryer. Just sayin'.
DeleteOk, so I'm a bit late to the party...work has been brisk these days...If I were triplets, my boss could keep all 3 of us busy, just saying.
ReplyDeleteYay LJD!!!!!! That is so awesome!! Enjoy--even the 3AM O2 sensor alerts. She will continue to grow and will develop enough quick enough so that she wont need the concentrator forever...just saying.
Just one little bit of advice--do some "what if" planning--what if the power goes out---how do we run the concentrator? How do we keep LJD warm?? With no electricity. Cause it's Texas and winter, and the last year or so Texas got pretty darn cold, even by upstate NY standards...just want ya'll to have some "Oh crap" plans in writing and ready to rock and roll if the stuff hits the propeller.
Re: end of life paperwork/medical emergency paperwork: One way to approach "The Talk" is not to have it, but to send a letter instead. That way the folks you send it to have paperwork to re-read when, down the line, the memory gets fuzzy. My folks did this. They sent all 3 of us daughters a several page epistle on what their plans were--they are donating their bodies to the local medical school, the funeral home to contact, and the fact that the medical school will have them cremated when it's done with them, and will handle the burial, etc. Also what medically, their wishes are--so everyone knows and is on the same page. Family fights in hospital hallways are "unseemly".
I have copies of their Health Care Proxies and what they would and would not want done, etc. And the daughter that is the Financial Power of Attorney knows where/who the lawyers are. They also used the opportunity to tell us the provenance of the family heirlooms that have come down through the family, where/what each item's history is, etc and gave us a chance to say "Ooo ooo, I want that". If more than one of us wanted the same thing, like Mom's sewing basket, they make the decision and told us again by letter.
Just a couple suggestions. And yes, having stuff on thumb drives is useful, not just for wills, and Advance Directives, but also insurance papers, mortgage paperwork, copy of credit cards, marriage/divorce/birth/death certificates, etc especially in places where hurricanes and tornadoes go through on a regular basis as then any computer can open them up. Put the current med list on there too...and up-date it every 6 months. Or annually in your birthday month.
Praying for more up slopes!!
Anon,
DeleteWow! There's a lot of good ideas in there. Suffice it to say, I'm going to be busy on the computer for a bit implementing them. Thanks!