Dear Californians,
First of all, let me welcome you as new residents to the Great State of Texas. We know that you'll enjoy the freedom the State, its traditions and its Laws allow. However....
There are a few things you should be aware of that can cause your transition from californian to Texan some difficulty.
First, don't ever use the phrase "In California, we did XXX this way!" Frankly, who gives a damn, you aren't in California nor are we. Yes, I hear that quite regularly, gets tedious, yes it does.
Second, I know that the average speed limit on an 8 lane California interstate is 30 MPH on a good days, and quite frequently less. With the exception of DFW, Austin, Houston, San Antonio and El Paso during rush hour, the posted speed limit on the interstate is 70 until you get past the above cities, then 75. In west Texas, past Kerrville until you get near El Paso, it's 80. Weather and traffic permitting, do the speed limit.
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| Actual San Antonio traffic |
And the reciprocal....Do NOT drive 55 while yelling WEEE! You're liable to be passed and receive a hand signal of your assessed IQ (aka an extended middle finger). Accept that as encouragement to drive the speed limit or at least no less than 2 MPH below.
On a similar note, if you are driving the speed limit, don't drive in the left lane unless you're passing somebody. Pass, then move back into the right lane. You probably never knew about this, but on the left side of the steering wheel is a lever. Click that down when you decide to move into the left lane to pass, click it back to the center when you are in the left lane, then when you finish passing click it up and move back into the right. I know, I know, nobody ever taught you that, but letting the fellow drivers in your vicinity know your intentions is the friendly (AKA Texas) thing to do.
Oh, and if you're not driving at at least the speed limit, don't drive in the left lane, period. This, of course, assumes the right lane isn't blocked somehow, or it's not rush hour in one of the aforementioned large metropolitan areas*.
When driving on a country two lane road, it is a "Texas Thing" to wave at oncoming cars. It's friendly and one never knows when you might need that person to stop and help you get your car off the road when you went deer hunting with your front bumper. It pays to be friendly.
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| Source |
It also pays to make sure that you stay more than 15' off the rear bumper of the car in front of you doing 70-75 MPH. That deer may get a two-fer kill in that case. My HS driver ed teacher had a rule of thumb that following should be 2 car lengths per 10 MPH of speed. Just sayin'. I didn't believe that when I was about age 16. Turns out a couple hundred feet between me and the guy ahead of me, would've saved my car, a ticket and an insurance cost bump. Some lessons are harder learned than others.
One final thing, when you do move here, register your car in Texas and get Texas plates. Nothing annoys us quite as much as having an out of state tag on a car with a registration sticker from a few years ago. These, very nice (mostly) highways aren't free, pay your fair share.
OH, sorry! One more final thing, you don't get to bitch about the State leadership until you've voted in at least one election. Use that period to assess their effectiveness, DON'T just vote for whatever the party was in power in California. Get to know the candidates and vote for the person, not the party, regardless of the party.
Regards,
juvat**
*If you decide not to follow my advice, feel free to move to one of those Large Texas Metropolitan Cities mentioned in paragraph 4. They're already screwed up beyond any hope of redemption. You'll fit right in.
** Not born Texan, but got here as soon as I could, learned some of these lessons the hard way, just wanted to save you and the folks around you on the road a lot of pain.
P.S. This is written with quite a bit of sarcasm and a bit of embellishment included, but, unfortunately, the basis of it is quite true! Sorry!
Same thing applies in Florida.
ReplyDeleteYep, BTDT!
Deletejuvat
And Arizona but worse since we are right next door.
DeleteRick T
DeleteYeah, that sucks too, Maybe move the state immigration checkpoints from the California side to the Arizona side. Don’t allow entry without the ability to recite the Preamble to the Constitution, state the Pledge of Allegiance and sing the National Anthem…without notes. Quality not required, accuracy absolutely required.
juvat
Estimados Tejanos: Tomen esto como un recordatorio amistoso de que California es un estado bastante grande y que no todos los Californianos son de Los Ángeles, San Francisco o Sacramento.*
ReplyDeleteThose of us not from those cesspits tend to think much like you do. We value and honor the Constitution and out republic. We proudly fly our national flag, stand and remove our cover for the national anthem. Why, some 8,000,000 of us even own firearms. I'll grant you, our Modern Sporting Rifles also known as Self Defense Rifles may look funny in order to comply with our draconian and Byzantine laws, they are fully functional and we do practice with them.
Those of us who flee from here are most likely to be refugees, sojourners seeking freedom and understanding and ot as missionaries.
Cordially,
Yearning 4 Freedom
*
Dear Texans: Take this as a friendly reminder that California is a pretty big state and not all Californians are from Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Sacramento.
Joe, as to the latter. Understood, but those don’t seem to be the one’s coming. Or maybe they are and are blending in quite well and not making a scene. IMHO, they are quite welcome!
Deletejuvat
Juvat, when we drove across country in '08, staying at KOAs, we got many comments of the "Are you sure you're from California?" type. Many of us,other than accent and speech pattern can blend in quite well. We're not all like https://youtu.be/3MOy6Z_UP7c?si=FMEsNu_a6C85Gq6z
DeleteJoe, so, you don’t live in LA, SF, Sacramento or San Diego! Good on ya mate!
Deletejuvat
I was raised in N. San Diego County, not far from Camp Pendleton, when they did artillery night fire we could hear the low rumble.
DeleteWent to college ar Chico. Lots of farmers and ranchers around there.
I've been in Sonoma County since the mid-80s. Dominated by Santa Rosa, a very blue city, and quite a few little artsy towns, but a smattering of ranchers. Overall about 2/3 blue.
My parents were Democrats, I think mostly because of Truman. Dad was in the USMC from 1940 to 1947. All 3 of my brothers are hopelessly blue. Myself, I rather like the Constitution.
Joe, times were sure different back then, weren’t they? Both parties were, for the most part, Americans first and (choose a party) second or third. Course we’d just fought two existential wars. Affects your world view doesn’t it?
DeleteWouldn’t want to go back to that time, but I wish they taught American History better nowadays!
juvat
Joe, and the GOP now is left of where your Dem parents were back then. Noticed I said GOP, not Republicans or Conservatives. There's plenty of us that hate where the party is now. Even CA has solid red people, but the corruption, what I'm sure is voter fraud, low IQ voters, and Soros money keeps us blue.
DeleteBeing born and raised in Texas myself , it is (or used to be common practice) when driving slow on a two lane with a decent shoulder , to move over to the shoulder and maintain speed to allow someone driving more urgently to pass .
ReplyDeleteYep, I remember that tradition. Did it a few weeks back, the dope just stayed there. Finally rolled down the window, stuck my arm out and motioned him past. He did skip the second part of the tradition though. Wave your thanks as you pass. Manners!!
Deletejuvat
For the sake of the country I hope that Texans can exert enough common sense to assimilate the "foreign" transplants juvat, good luck.
ReplyDeleteNylon,
DeleteAs Joe commented above about “two types”, the non- big city folk are unlikely to be much of a problem. The others, however…
juvat
The Babylon Bee's videos on Californians moving to Texas are pretty good fun.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLf0ejejfF_wYRhBwtSwvNBPGyA95Ll7mt
But, Californians (other than of the conservative persuasion) moving to any state are a pox to be avoided.
JB
JB, Those look good. And there went my afternoon! :-)
Deletejuvat
JB, one of the issues, as experienced by OR, WA, CO. and likely others, is that some from the Greater Metro areas of SF, LA, or Sacramento (well, not so much Sacramento because of its position in the Central Walley), get dissatisfied with the regulations, taxation, and high prices and go off looking for something better, something affordable, something free. And they, having found it, was poetic about it to their friends in CA, some of whom move there. But they find that they can't handle and so start trying to change it to what they are familiar with, and so start to change it "just a little." Starts in their small town. Soon it's like what they left behind in CA, and so once again feel too confined, move on. It's sort of like a guy who has been in prison almost all his adult life, but when released, can't function in freedom. They can't move back to CA because they sold their house there, used some of the cash to move, used it to buy a new place in another state, but now can't sell it and buy in a desirable area of CA. So, they're stuck in a place that at first seemed great, but that they aren't psychologically able to accept. So like locust, they keep moving on, leaving ruin in their path.
DeleteGreat analogy. Sad, but somewhat self induced. The really bad part is they don’t learn from their mistakes and f it up for otherwise innocent bystanders (aka residents of the next town they move to).
DeleteSad!
juvat
Welcome to Colorados fate circa 25 years ago. Good luck, ya'll gonna need it.
ReplyDeleteLord, I hope and pray not!
Deletejuvat
Juvat, you are not really wrong about any of that.
ReplyDeleteI often find it darkly amusing that in some places, there is a great concern for respecting and protecting the cultures and traditions of societies outside of their home country, but little enough of the same concern for the cultures and traditions within their home countries.
THBB, a very astute observation!
Deletejuvat
Amen, Brother! I have been a "citizen" of The State (Republic) of Texas for 58 years though I did have to travel some because of the Air Force during that time. Y'all ferigners need to Lear the rules.
ReplyDeleteBillB, would that they could, would that they could!
Deletejuvat
Ah transplants, I am one myself, while I am native to New England, I'm not from Rhode Island, rather I'm from Vermont. But after 24 years in the USAF, I felt like I wasn't "from" anywhere. The blue suit was my home. Now that I've lived in Little Rhody for 25+ years you'd think I'd feel like I'm from here. I don't, I just don't jive with the local culture I suppose. Do I try to change it? No, why would I?
ReplyDeleteI had similar feelings, yours were New England, mine was Texas, didn’t want to move back to Big Spring, Lubbock or Del Rio, but Somewhere in Texas. The Burg is rapidly becoming San Francisco East. Not an improvement. We’ll see what’s what soon.
Deletejuvat
OAFS, the thing is that so many from the East and Left coasts plus a few other areas (Chicago, Minnesota and the like) feel they have superior ideas and those country bumpkins in the fly-over country they move to as economic refugees need to be "guided" into right-think. In general, a military background such as your's and juvat's does not have that attitude.
DeleteWe had that taught out of us in the Big Blue Machine.
DeleteIt's not Minnesota, it's Hennepin and Ramsey Counties.
DeleteDear Californians. Texas has lots of room. Colorado is overfull. Please make the correct choice.
ReplyDeleteWSF,
DeleteMight I suggest New York City or DC? It would be hard to screw those up any worse than they are.
juvat
Real estate is affordable in Wamsutter, WY, just saying.
DeleteWSF, would be wonderful…June 15-August 15!
Delete:-)
juvat
WSF, Colorado is already messed up and may be beyond redemption. It is warmer here in Texas so why don't you and Banner(?) move down here?
DeleteFamily commitments.
DeleteWell, WSF, I certainly understand that, but if circumstances change, you’ll be welcome here!
Deletejuvat
Ditto for Tennessee! I'm from a sane part of Commiefornia, East County, San Diego. You can't escape the reach of Sacramento, so in 2015, we became refugees (with means), not missionaries from So. Cal!
ReplyDeleteSometimes you hear the the, not near, neighbors break out their full autos. Well, it IS a machine gun, suppressor, SBR, free state!
We get that somewhat regularly in our little slice of heaven also. As long as it isn't 3AM, I've gotten used to it.
Deletejuvat
I miss the California of my youth, that being before 1970.
ReplyDeleteBut since moving to Florida in 1973, been here since and totally enjoy it. But we get yearly migrations of ungrateful Canucks, who think we should be more Canadian when they're here,. And waves of yidiots (yankee idiots) who move here from Yankee-land for lots of reasons like there's no snow or no uber-liberal government and then bitch and whine that it's not like home. And until after the 2000 election often voted both 'at home' and here in Florida. Which got stopped after 2000 except for Broward County. Most people who've lived here for over 3 years wish Broward County would disconnect from the rest of Florida and just go away.
Geez Beans, voting in the same election in two locations? That should be illegal!
DeleteOh...Wait!
juvat
You claim it's sarcasm, but sounds like it's much needed guidance for all the new residents. They need to leave CA for both finances AND politics. If it's just the former, they'll just slowly turn Texas into what they left.
ReplyDeleteTuna,
DeleteThanks, sarcasm serves as a layer of armor for me, especially when I am forced to talk to the afore mentioned class of citizenry. Your last sentence is what scares the fecal matter outta me.!
juvat
I was taught one car length for every five miles per hour, which is the same distance, of course.
ReplyDeleteThe complainers need to take their asses on down the road to another state! We don't need or want them here.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly where that picture was taken, right past BAMC(or whatever they're calling it now).
ReplyDeleteI was taught either one car length for every 10MPH or three seconds- which automatically adjusts your following distance.
You might mention something Texans have that's called a Brake Check to wake up tailgaters.
I have to admit that I was surprised that Trumps numbers weren't closer here because of all the blue state carpetbaggers moving in.
One of the dandy features of being an army brat is the ability to honestly say, “ oh yeah, I lived there, did you got to school at…. “ I lived everywhere inconus.
ReplyDeleteI’ve played that game…a lot!
Deletejuvat
Joined the Navy in August 0f 1970, Got sent to NAS Lemoore. Stayed here ever since. Went on 5 cruses in 20 years. Never left Lemoore. So, I joined the Navy and saw Lemoore. Been a good time here. A little hot during the summer, AC full bore most of the time. Not to peopley here so that is nice. Other than that, that's all.
ReplyDeleteHeltau
Heltau,
ReplyDeleteI would say that you are a safe distance from the dens of stupidity described above to be safe. Keep a weather eye on things though!
juvat