Thursday, February 26, 2015

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho...

0700, 25 February 2015
My smart phone has a weather application built into it. Normally I'll check the weather-guesser prognosis once a day (or more) just for grins. I'm curious about the weather but tend to avoid the television (aka idiot box) as it seems that the weather people have recently gotten rather hysterical as regards the weather.

When did we start naming winter storms? (Yes, that's a rhetorical question...)

Tuesday morning, I checked the weather on the smart phone. Precipitation was predicted a few days in the future. Not for Wednesday.

So Wednesday morning I woke up at my usual time, after a rather fitful night's "sleep," shaved, showered and clad myself in my normal sartorial splendor (jeans and a nice shirt, I don't like "dress" pants, despise them as a matter of fact) and headed downstairs to don my outdoor clothing to head off to my place of employment.

Gazing out the windows of Chez Sarge to what did my wondering eyes appear? Snow. Approximately 6 to 8 inches of new snow. Totally unexpected.

Yes, it was pretty (as evidenced in that opening photo, all sparkly it was).

It would have been a lot prettier had it been a Saturday morning, that is, a day I didn't have to go out first thing in the morning.

Surprisingly it wasn't that cold outside, upper twenties I believe. (No, that's not cold. Not really. Below zero is cold. Anything above ten is tolerable. BTW, that's Fahrenheit, we don't do Celsius. The metric system is weird and was invented during the rather nasty French Revolution, making it, in my book anyway, suspect.)

So after brushing what felt like three feet of snow off my car I headed off to work. Down the unplowed boulevards and by-ways of Little Rhody. Seems that the plows were still working elsewhere. Not a problem, I have all wheel drive and the snow was light and fluffy and melting on the highway. Where over the past few storms they have put down approximately 300 pounds of salt and sand per square foot. (Yes, I exaggerate, but not by much.)

Heading down the road, I note that the vehicles in front of me are flinging wet mush and salty/sandy fluid all over my vehicle. Visibility was less than optimal.

Why is it that the passenger-side windshield wiper and the passenger-side spray thingee for the windshield washer fluid always perform superbly and without flaw? Whereas the driver-side wiper always leaves horrible streaks and the spray thingee always manages to be plugged with a few minute ice crystals. Even after the vehicle owner-operator has paid particular attention to cleaning that little sum-bitch thoroughly?

'Tis a conspiracy I tell you.

Now my troubles eventually subsided and the little spray thingee on my side of the car cleared itself. Of course as soon as I would clean the windshield, the guy in front of me would throw up another wave of nastiness. I do believe I may have used an inordinate amount of washer fluid on the way to work today.

I arrive at my place of work and notice that the minions are busy clearing the back of the really big parking lot where almost no one parks. Whereas the lot where I park is only half plowed. The half they plowed is away from the road. Between me and where I normally park is a whole lot of fresh powder. Unmarked.

Yes, the joy of a twelve-year old boy coursed through my veins as I turned the wheel and drove into that wide expanse of fresh, new fallen snow. Fun, fun, fun. Short-lived as it was.

I'm in my spot and ready to begin my daily labors.

What I really wanted to do was have a nice long nap.


They don't pay me to nap.

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho...


  1. I knew there was something amiss with the metric system.
    It's been a heckuva a week in the lovely Texas Hill Country. Wake up Monday with an eighth to a quarter inch of ice on my Car. Thankfully after last winter, I amazoned ice scrapers for all my family's vehicle (lots of squawking and joking until Monday AM). But we still got to go to work. Roads weren't too bad, bridges were. Sup decides to call school early, so everybody's in a hurry to get home at 1330 in rain at 30 degrees. 200MT Stupid Bomb detonated over the area. Sup makes a decent decision at 4AM to delay school by 2 hours. He activates our new phone messaging and types in his message and activates the Text to Speech option, then as an afterthought clicks the Spanish button, thinking naturally, that the software would translate it for him. Which it does for a scheduled message. I'm not sure why ANY program would have this option, but the message was read, in English, by a speaker with a Hispanic Accent.
    "Badges, we don need no steenkin badges!"
    Heckuva a week so far, and only two days to go.

    1. I have some (limited) experience with the weather in Texas. Stuff can get nasty in a hurry.

      (Re: 200MT Stupid Bomb - love it. No doubt some day I'll use it.)

    2. Shaun, I would wager that we have the same (twisted) sense of humor.

    3. The evidence does seem to show that!

  2. Winter returned to the Prairies this week too. Despite the misery of cold and snow (and especially wind) I'm secretly relieved. Hate to start the growing season with a precip shortfall and all the soil moisture used up.

    Nona the wondercowdog has developed a phobia about windshield wipers. I switch them on, she goes nuts. I suspect she believes they're gonna get her if they make it through the glass.

    1. She might be right!

      Evil things those windshield wipers!

  3. Snow is great, when you have no where to go.

  4. We have been getting a light dusting of snow, but thanks to the howling north wind, it has all blown to Texas.

    Speaking of fresh snow and giving into childlike fun: When my daughter worked for Halliburton (autocad drafter for the engineering nerds) she came out of work one day to a snow covered lawn. She promptly made up a bunch of snowballs and pelted people as they came out. Here's the proof. She is still not married.

    1. Excellent story Lou. Your daughter sounds like a fun person.

      (Don't tell Juvat you sent all the snow to Texas!)

    2. The problem is by the time it got all the way down to me, it had thawed and refrozen (probably several times). Snow would be OK (10KT Stupid bomb level), Ice not so much.

  5. Heh, another day another trip to the salt mine...


Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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