The Chant Is Like...

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Forrest had it right.

Now some bloggers would leave it at that. "Ha ha, look what Sarge did, how clever."

Or (more likely) "What in Hell is that old coot smoking?"

But I like to mix things up, history one day, goofy stuff on another, then I'll throw you a curve and write a post about iron roosters and foo fighters. Ya never know what you're going to get here on any given day.

Heck, I never know what I'm going to post on any given day. Usually it's whatever pops into my head. Sometimes I'll read something and cogitate on that for a while then write you a post about that.

Sometimes I rant, sometimes I rave.

Hopefully, it's usually interesting enough to keep you coming back. Seems to be working so far.

So apparently Maine had a tsunami warning the other day. It was, of course, right up there with the "Everybody run for cover the NORKs have fired a missile at Hawaii" warning of a couple of weeks ago. This time it was, apparently an error (stupidity?) and not malfeasance.

Some people's kids, neh?

In other news I hear that the President wants to have a military parade in Washington D.C., similar to those that the French do in Paris on Bastille Day. Apparently he witnessed that, thought it was pretty cool, and wants to do the same.

I've watched clips of that French parade, it is pretty cool. Apparently though that's too expensive, too militaristic, too non-traditional, too warlike, blah, blah, blah. My favorite bit from the article on NPR (which that last link goes to) is this -

U.S. presidents have long shied away from such displays of military prowess — which typically include tanks, missiles and, in some cases, goose-stepping soldiers — for fear of being compared to Washington's Cold War adversaries, where such displays have traditionally been potent symbols of state power. Those countries include Russia (and, formerly, the Soviet Union), China and North Korea.

(Ya now there was a big parade in D.C. right after the Civil War, I guess that doesn't count.)

The text in bold is the bit which I chuckled at, yes, exactly the sort of thing we conservatives crave. Sure that's what Mr. Trump wants, goose-stepping soldiers. Perhaps the World War II German Luftwaffe can do a fly over, U-Boats in the Potomac. OMG, perhaps he really is Hitler!

Nope.

I think he says things just to watch people's heads explodes. It definitely tweaks the progs I see around the office and in the public spaces here in the Democratic People's Republic of Little Rhody. Which isn't quite as bad as Kalifornia, but approaches that level at times.

Would I like to see a big military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue, with tanks, big missiles, marching troops (of the non-goose-stepping variety of course), with flyovers of military helicopters, jets, bombers, and secret death machines?

As cool as that might be, no, not really. I've been in military parades, they're a pain in the ass for those in the parade. Which reminds me of a story. Of course...

Back in '75 I was in tech school in Denver, learning how to maintain the Weapon Control Systems on the mighty F-4D Phantom II. It was a nine month long school which hey, it was Denver, a lovely place back then. Now, I hear it smells of hemp, but that's a story for another day. Maybe.

The powers that be had declared that there would be a census throughout the Empire, er, I mean, that there would be a big parade. All the school squadrons would participate.

"So Sarge, will there be 76 trombones?"

"Shut up Bambi."

"Sir, yes sir!"

Anyhoo. As we'd all learned how to march in basic training, the powers that be figured we wouldn't need very much practice. As we marched to school, every day, the powers that be in my squadron decided that we wouldn't need any practice.

Now the powers that be in my squadron were the commander, Major Kennedy, and the First Sergeant, a jolly Master Sergeant with a very Prussian crew cut. (Whose name escapes me at the moment, sorry Top. First Sergeants were known as the First Shirt, or just Shirt, older guys might have called them Top, for the Top Sergeant in the outfit.)

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Yeah, kinda like that. In fact, Paul von Hindenburg is like an older version of our first sergeant. Though the Shirt didn't have that mustache. Which would have been really cool. But I digress. He was a good guy, but of course he was a Master Sergeant, goes without saying, right?

Anyhoo, the big day arrives, we're all lined up, multiple squadrons, all en masse, and to top things off, 'twas a lovely, lovely day. Sun shining, some cloud, not too hot, kinda sorta just right. (No, Goldilocks wasn't there, she was in a different squadron.)

Our squadron had Major Kennedy a few paces in front of the Shirt, who was a few paces front and center of the first rank of the squadron. As we approached the reviewing stand, the Shirt held his arms to his sides, slightly, and began making "slow down" motions. Which we, obedient unto death, did, wondering why the Major was outpacing us.

When we passed the reviewing stand, Major Kennedy was a good ten yards in front of the rest of us. He seemed to be marching all by hisself. But he proudly barked out "eyes right" and rendered an impeccable salute. To the vast puzzlement of a number of folks in the reviewing stand. Many of whom wore these upon the breast of their Air Force blues -

U.S. Air Force Command Pilot's Wings

Yup, fighter pilots. Back in the day old fighter jocks were often sent to training bases and ROTC outfits to train us young and impressionable airmen. For many it was their swan song, they maxed out as lieutenant colonels and colonels, no hope of gaining a star (as they weren't members of the "cool kid" set), they commanded a training wing or school, then retired. (At least that's how I remember it.)

When the Shirt and the rest of the squadron hit the reviewing stand, Top bellowed out "eyes right" and snapped a salute that would impress God himself and all the angels in Heaven. We did the eyes right thing, we felt like the Grenadier Guards, Top looked like Patton incarnate (only lower ranking and in the Air Force), and we dazzled the reviewers. (Who were probably just then connecting Major Kennedy's solo performance and the fact that we had no officer with our squadron.)

Eyes Right!
USAF Photo

Well, from my position in the front rank I could see the reviewers, a couple were chuckling, a couple had baffled looks on their faces, but the colonel just drew himself erect like a martial statue and snapped a very passable salute (for a fighter pilot) back at the Shirt. Then proceeded to slightly grin and wink at the Shirt. (Seems they'd served together in Thailand, back during the Vietnam War.)

I also saw Major Kennedy check his six and only then saw that his position relative to his command was rather non-standard. (Now he was a good fifteen yards in front of the rest of us.) I swear I heard him question the ancestry, upbringing, and marital status of the First Sergeant's parents. But, he too was grinning and shaking his head.

That was a great parade, those two guys were what ya call leaders.

We would have marched through Hell with those two at the front.

And that's one of my parade stories.