Saturday, August 13, 2016

Odds n' Sods

After another hot and humid day, a bit of rain slides in.
As you might recall, The Missus Herself returned late Thursday from her sojourn in California. It was late, she was tired (sleepless night, early wake up, long flight with two stops) and was not displeased with the state of cleanliness of the manse. I must admit, in the past I had not been as attentive to the house chores and had heard about it. In fact, when The WSO called me Thursday evening, I told her that I was doing some tidying up and she would need to speak louder to be heard over the vacuum.

"Yeah, right Dad. Why do you bother? Mom is a perfectionist, no matter how hard you clean, you just know she'll find something amiss."

Admittedly, that's why in the past my efforts at house chores had been less than optimal. But then I remembered something from last year, when I had again put some effort into cleaning. While I was rather proud of the job I had done, she walked in, pointed at the faucet in the kitchen sink and exclaimed, "It's like you don't even care!"

So this year I polished the faucet in the kitchen. The faucet in the downstairs bath AND the faucet in the upstairs bath.

When we arrived home from the airport, she walked into the house, commented on the humidity (bear in mind, in the Lemoore region of California humidity is typically not an issue, in Little Rhody by the Bay, it's a BIG issue), said hello to the feline staff (one of whom was ecstatic to see Mama, the other decided to shun Mother for having been gone an entire month), looked about and simply said, "I'm tired."

Now I was pleased that a tirade as to my apparent need to "live in a pig sty" didn't follow her entry into Chez Sarge. However, praise craver that I am, I pointed to the faucet in the downstairs bath and said, "See my Dear, I even cleaned the faucets this time." Rather than pat me on the head and point out what an idiot I was, she nodded, smiled, and said, "Yes, I noticed."

Are ya gonna rain, or not?

So I figured I was home free. Did the job. Looked good. Wife happy, me happy.

While slaving away at work doing engineering at my place of employment on Friday, my smart phone dinged. No really, it made this little "ding" noise. Come on, do I have to play a clip of the noise it made? Really? Sigh...

Okay.



Yes, kinda like that.

Anyhoo.

I checked my phone to see if it was trying to tell me something, sure enough, a fellow Lexican had sent me a Book O' Face "personal message." (I find that terminology odd, I mean, is the Book O' Face capable of sending  impersonal messages? But I digress...)

Now the "PM" was seeking a meet up as this fellow Lexican was going to be in the area and perhaps I might like to have a pint of the Guinness with him. Of course, I answered in the affirmative. Then I figured that I better call My Lord and Master, The Missus Herself and see if she wished to accompany me to the place where Guinness is served.

So I rang her up and jocularly asked if she was recuperating from being with the grandkids for a month.

Which I thought would be like this...

(Source)

Nah, more like this...

(Source)

Yeah, the grandkids take after me in some ways.

But The Missus Herself wasn't going to play along with my jocular tone, seems that I had mistreated the garden in her absence and the weeds were taking over. She was not pleased. No, not at all...

(Source)

So this day, Saturday, I am to do penance in the yard. Pulling weeds (I don't think she said, "with your teeth" but I wouldn't put it past her) and various and sundry other gardening related things.

But she did agree that going to a place where Guinness is served on draft (and a very lovely plate of bangers and mash can be had) was a right fine idea. "Yes, yes I will accompany you to meet this Lexican fellow," said the love of my life.

So, I've got that going for me.

So did it rain? (I know you need to know.)
Why yes, yes it did.
(Just enough to boost the humidity to Fort Walton Beach levels...)

Yeah, I've got that to look forward to, while pulling weeds...

...in the yard...

...with my teeth.

You'd think I'd learn to listen to my better half.





30 comments:

  1. Tsk-tsk-tsk, all that layin' about lookin' at plane pron...

    Here, this might help. My brother is extremely educated regarding weeds and certified, by the state itself, to dispense weedly advice.

    http://www.omaha.com/living/in-the-soul-sucking-battle-against-weeds-the-best-solution/article_1d10fbd9-1414-553c-bd2a-63250433b419.html

    I think he's also tired of pulling weeds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think too much time is spent on trying to make one's lawn look like a putting green. The Missus Herself classifies anything in the lawn which is not grass is a weed. I have a more "live and let live attitude."

      Seems like the writing gene is strong in your family.

      Delete
  2. When the wife is away, always keep the house neat and clean, but leave at least one obvious thing not properly attended to. There is a thin line between "not caring" and not "being needed." I'm on my third wife and even I know that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah yes, the old "leave one obvious wrong thing" school of thought. Bear in mind though, my wife is a military wife and as such she subscribes very much to the "if I found one thing wrong, there must be more" school.

      But yeah, never give the impression that you "don't care."

      Delete
  3. Hey, who knew she had a latin sister!! Sounds exactly like my wife!! My gosh, I've heard that a million times if I heard it once! I try, but I finally figured out 2 things: the yard is mine, the messier the better; if I'm in the shop and not home, the home doesn't get messy.

    But I always have some penance to do when she returns. I think it's her way of getting back in the grove in her own place.....

    Solidarity, brother!

    ReplyDelete
  4. C'mon Sarge! You been through enough Inspections. You KNOW you've got to leave something wrong so the Inspectors can find something to write up and feel important. Inspecting is just part of being married. FWIW, I haven't passed one of my wife's inspections yet. Yes, Dear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've actually been through very few inspections (surprising after a 24 year career).

      On Okinawa during a barracks inspection the Old Man and the Shirt came through while I was at work (during the week). The Shirt was livid that I had a wargame set up on the floor of my room (it was a BIG game). He was all set to write my room up when he noticed the Old Man looking at the rule book, then at the situation on the map. The Old Man turned to the Shirt and said, "Let it go."

      Many places I was at they would keep me as far away from the inspectors as they could. Had a habit of speaking my mind. The inspectors liked that, the squadron weenies, not so much. May be why I worked more than my share of night shifts.

      Delete
    2. This won't work for the Missus. Offered for those still in the service. Inspectors often get sprayed with saliva when some troop answers their question. You want to look all puffed up, flushed face, and ready to explode. The inspector will walk right past you.

      Delete
  5. Good post, good comments.

    Paul L. Quandt

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why does an old Marine have to explain things to an Air Force SNCO? Rule number one is to hide ALL of her white gloves in her absence. (You can blame that on the feline staff)
    Rule number two is to have a dozen roses ready to present upon her arrival.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would you believe that she keeps a supply of white gloves on her at all times?

      When I give her flowers and it's not her birthday, our anniversary, or Mother's Day she will invariably ask, "What did you do now?"

      Ah well.

      Delete
    2. Reply "Preemptory strike, not retaliatory"

      Delete
  7. sportsfans/

    My wife is--among other nursing specialities--an infection control nurse. You think YOU'VE got inspection problems? DAILY LIFE at Chez Virgil is one yu-yuge never.ending. on-going inspection!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You say you've got Clorox wipes instead of TP in the bathroom, VX?

      Delete
    2. Virgil, when you mentioned that she was an infection control nurse, this scene from Star Trek popped into my head.

      Delete
    3. Juvat.

      Both.

      Need I go further?

      Delete
    4. "...this scene from Star Trek..."

      You're hypertensive mind actually remembered that scene!? LOL! (I'm just pissed that I couldn't find my equivalent fave scene from the Daleks and Dr Who :) )

      Delete
  8. It just keeps getting better and better.

    Paul

    ReplyDelete
  9. The fellow that sits closest to my office married a British girl when he was stationed there with the US Military. They've been married about 30 years, and he clearly adores her, you can just tell by how he looks at her, but when she calls he will cover the phone and they look at me and say "It's the War Department".

    ReplyDelete
  10. After being in CA for a month plus, I can't wait to see how filthy McNasty the condo has evolved into. I will not realize it, of course, but I will be told and have to do damage control. My son (single now by choice and law) will be glad to see his house so clean when we leave. He will miss us, oh yes. Even the plants look good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's amazing how quickly our domiciles try to revert to Nature when we're not at home!

      Delete
  11. You could always hire a maid the day before she comes home! I've been discussing just that with the Boss for the next time we get our "Inspection". With the Twin Tiny Terrors and work, I have no confidence at all in my ability to pass without hired assistance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had thought of that. But my innate cheapness won out.

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)