Because I had to go see a dermatologist.
Mind you, this wasn't because I have some weird growth on me. Well, there are a couple of things which my doctor and The Missus Herself thought I should have checked. Not being one to argue (successfully anyway) with these two dames formidables (yes, my doctor is a lady, think small fingers, or not, the choice is yours, I know, gross), an appointment was made, some time ago, and was accomplished on Friday.
Yes, so what's with Arnold as Mr Freeze in that execrable Batman movie? Ah, apparently the dermatologist, or the dermatologist's assistant, a nice lady with lots of initials after her name, "MD" not being there, saw a couple of things which she was "concerned" with. So she pulled out this spray can thingee and this round thing-a-ma-bob with various size holes in it and informed me that applying liquid nitrogen would be just the thing to treat those things which "concerned" her. Okay, I was now officially concerned as well. (Liquid nitrogen is kept at approximately minus one billion degrees Fahrenheit. Okay, an exaggeration, it's really -196° Celsius, which is -320.8° Fahrenheit, oddly enough the dermatologist said -196, so I assumed Fahrenheit, I was wrong. I think we all know my feelings about the metric system. Or, the "system for people without calculators" as I like to call it. Oh crap, where was I?)
Ahem, yes. Liquid nitrogen.
So the round thing-a-ma-bob is placed over the area to be treated, the hole used should be about the size of the area, and then squirt, pressurized liquid nitrogen is then applied.
Now I'm used to cold. When she told me how cold this stuff is, I jokingly mentioned, "Oh, like northern Vermont cold." She chuckled then opened fire, er, sprayed, really, really cold stuff on me.
No, it's not northern Vermont cold, it's dark side of the moon cold. You might say it stings a bit.
Three wart-like things on my legs, those stung like I could not believe, and two wart-like things on my face. Those proved to be not uncomfortable at all there in the office. Surprised me, maybe I didn't notice because the spots on my legs really, really stung. Actually drew an "Oh my!" from me there in the dermatologist's office. (If I had been elsewhere the language may have been a bit stronger, perhaps a tad.)
Well, the dermatologist apologized. I said "no big deal, surprised me is all." I was expecting cold, then I remembered, really extreme cold stuff touching one's skin can feel almost as if it's burning. Yeah, ow.
So I have to go back in November to see how things are faring. It kinda sucks as there is a history of skin cancer in the family, Mom's side, which worried the the dermatologist. No, I didn't tell her that, The Missus Herself, or the family snitch as I call her, told her. Seems she knows of all this from talking to my mother. Who doesn't tell me these things as I find those kinds of topics somewhat distressing.
As The Missus Herself and I drove away, the stinging on my legs became a rather appalling itchiness. Which I soon didn't notice because the left side of my face felt like it was melting. It was rather uncomfortable, but soon passed. Geez.
Like Buck used to say, "It's always sumthin'." (Sigh, found this Friday. Miss him I do.)