Sarge At the Movies

(Source)

So what are my favorite movies? Well, it's kind of a long list to be sure. I like action films, mysteries are alright as long as they're not too attention intensive (miss one line and for the rest of the film you have no effing idea what is going on), comedies, as long as they're not too sophomoric, and that's about it. I'm sure as I write this, other categories might spring to mind, or not. I'm getting to an age where nothing springs anymore. If'n you get my drift.

Well, I just thought of a category of motion picture that I generally can't abide. Musicals.

Now mind you, it's not that I would rid the planet of that genre if (by some bizarre circumstance) I ascended to the throne of global overlord. Not that I'm actually seeking that post, but I digress.

Alright there are a few musicals which I not only tolerated but actually enjoyed. Films such as The Sound of Music, or Jesus Christ Superstar I found to be not only tolerable but enjoyable. Oh yes, there was also a musical version of Dickens' A Christmas Carol with Albert Finney (Scrooge) that I actually enjoyed as well. But in general I cannot abide a musical. Just not my thing really.

I don't mind formulaic type films of the sort where the good guy gets kicked around in the beginning of the movie and then spends the rest of the film avenging himself upon the bad guys. Get the audience all riled up and mad at the bad guys and then see them (the bad guys, not the audience) get their butts kicked at the end of the film. Most satisfying if you enjoy that sort of thing.

Do I like really violent movies? Well, that depends.

I mean sure, I do get a visceral satisfaction at seeing really evil forces get completely destroyed. But will I watch a movie simply because it's violent? No. It has to have some sort of plot, otherwise it's just a form of non-sexual pornography. Can I think of an example of such a film? Well, Natural Born Killers springs to mind. Didn't care for that film at all. Not one iota.

I do like war movies and those are, by definition, violent. I do prefer that the film is reasonably close to being historically accurate, though that's not a hard and fast rule. The Battle of the Bulge  starring Henry Fonda, Robert Shaw, Telly Savalas, Robert Ryan, Dana Andrews and Charles Bronson is an exception to the historically accurate rule. It's alright as far as historicity goes, just a little fast and loose with certain aspects of the battle. I'm okay with that. I was entertained by it as a lad. I even watched it within the last few years and still enjoyed it, though not as much as when I was young.

Okay, Mel Gibson's Braveheart and The Patriot weren't that historically accurate but I still enjoyed them. A lot. Firstly, Scotland, secondly, American Revolution. That's my only justification and I hope all of my English friends don't read anything in to those two selections. (As in both films the English are truly evil and worthy of absolute destruction. Though in reality the English did great things in their time upon the word stage. Just hard convincing the Scots and the Irish of that. Or any number of other subjects of the old Empire.)

As to comedies, well I have a story of the time I spent nearly eight solid hours laughing. It involved comedy films, one or more of which could even be judged "sophomoric," but you know, I have so few hard and fast rules that one could drive a truck through the various and sundry exceptions to those rules. (And yes, I've been known to mix a metaphor or two.)

It was some years back and I was on the 2300 to 0700 shift. What we called "mids" in the Air Force and what my civilian counterparts at my place of gainful employment call "third shift." The beauty of that shift is that there are no suits or strap-hangars anywhere to be seen. Those minions of the dark populate the day (or first) shift, which seems out of character. But I digress.

99% of the work we did on that shift was testing. Longevity testing. Which means that you let the system run for literally hours. On a new system (which it was at the time) you don't stress it too much. You want to see if you can periodically exercise some basic functionality but not crash the system. I suppose it's like letting your car idle until it runs out of gas, occasionally blowing the horn and turning the lights on and off, as opposed to driving your car cross-country in the dead of winter.

It's nice to know that certain things will stay up and running before one starts beating on the system trying to make it fail. Which is what I call the fun part of testing. Can you troop-proof a system to the point where it won't choke? (The short answer there is no. The troops will always find a way to use a system which the manufacturers never thought of. Trust me, I know these things.)

Hhmm, I digressed. Where was I? Oh yeah, night shift and not much to do except watch the system run and once an hour do something on the system which would take 5 to 10 minutes, tops.

One of the guys brought in three movies on CD. Not a single one of which could be considered a "high brow" comedy. Were they sophomoric? You be the judge. The movies were:

• Super Troopers
• Old School and
• Dodgeball

We watched all three that night. When the denizens of day shift came in, they couldn't understand why we were all giggling and had red eyes. Now that I think of it, those movies are not exactly sophisticated humor. But are they sophomoric? I think Spaceballs is sophomoric. Admittedly I enjoyed it the first time I watched it. I tried watching it again this past summer and couldn't get through the first 15 minutes. Perhaps my tastes in comedy have changed. I know I have watched those three movies listed above many times. They never get old. There are some great gags in all three. Though, as always, YMMV.

So what are some of my favorite movies? Bear in mind that what follows is not an exhaustive list, your list might be different than mine, but feel free to share yours in the comments. I won't judge you. (Much.)

Some of my favorite movies, in no particular order, are (drum roll please) -

• The Hunt for Red October
• Blazing Saddles (IMHO, the funniest movie of all time)
• Monty Python and The Holy Grail (IMHO, the second funniest movie of all time)
• Tora, Tora, Tora
• Braveheart
• Dr Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)
• Patton
• Battle of Britain
• Zulu
• Paths of Glory
• The Final Countdown
• Tunes of Glory
•  Waterloo
• Tobruk
• The Longest Day
• Fury
• Amistad
• April Morning
• Saving Private Ryan
• The Dirty Dozen
• The Battle of the Bulge 
• The Devil's Brigade 
• Cross of Iron
• Gangs of New York
• The Last of the Mohicans
• Super Troopers
• Old School
• Joyeux Noël 
• The Blue Max
• Breaker Morant
• Kilo Two Bravo
• The Flowers of War
• Letters from Iwo Jima
• Flags of Our Fathers
• Gallipoli (1981 version)
  
• Dodgeball
• A Christmas Carol (the 1984 version with George C. Scott)
• Das Boot (auf Deutsch bitte, nicht auf Englisch)
• Jaws
• Twelve O'Clock High
• Cast a Giant Shadow
• Full Metal Jacket
• Seven Samurai
• Yojimbo
• Red Sun
• Red Dawn (The original)
• Black Hawk Down
• Gettysburg
• Gods and Generals
• Revolution (Al Pacino and Donald Sutherland)
• Schindler's List
• We Were Soldiers
• Glory
• A Bridge Too Far
• Sergeant York
• Unforgiven
• The Outlaw Josey Wales
• Gran Torino
• The Great Escape
• Enemy at the Gates
• Kelly's Heroes
• Where Eagles Dare
• Downfall
• Gladiator
• Kingdom of Heaven
• Troy
• Inglorious Basterds
• The Last Samurai
• Hell in the Pacific
• The Patriot
• Lawrence of Arabia
• Dances with Wolves
• The Great Santini
• Top Gun (I know, I know but Tomcats!!)
• The Imitation Game
• Avengers: Age of Ultron
• Tombstone
• Love Actually (I know, surprised me too)
• Airplane
• Hot Shots! Part Deux
• Goodfellas
• Pulp Fiction
• Reservoir Dogs
• Office Space
• Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
• Caddyshack
• Ghostbusters
• Big Trouble in Little China
• Escape from New York
• John Carpenter's The Thing
• Alien
• Aliens
• The Wind and the Lion
• Ground Hog Day
• National Lampoon's Vacation
• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
• Independence Day
• The Guardian
• The Finest Hours
• The Godfather
• The Godfather Part II

Okay, the list could actually be longer. A lot longer. I'm sure there's a couple (or fifty) that I forgot. But I think that gives you a pretty good idea of what I like.

Oh, while I'm on the subject, here's one of my favorite lines from a movie. (Yes, I have dozens, perhaps a post is in order on that very topic, perhaps based on the list of favorite movies...)