Tuesday, April 7, 2020

COVID Funnies



While the title is a little irreverent, sorry Sarge, I know there's nothing funny about a pandemic that is killing people across the world.  However, while the world sits at home deeply entrenched in Social Distancing, the twitter-verse and other social media sites are on fire with memes, jokes and general hilarity.  And all this time I thought Social Distancing was when we unfriend people on koobecaF.

At the outset of this whole thing, when events were being cancelled, but before the economy was crushed and we were we hiding in our homes, there were a couple jokes like the one I heard before St. Patrick's Day:

Did you hear that Dublin cancelled the St. Paddy's day parade due to the Corona Virus?   The Irish were so upset they started drinking 500 years ago.
At the time, the virus hadn't gotten too bad and we were questioning the need for all those cancellations:

The Corona Virus has killed like what...12 people in the United States?. Jeffrey Dahmer ate more people than that.

Did you hear that the fear over this virus is getting so bad that people are actually trading sex for food?  Anyways, I got a Klondike Bar! 

Then there were the pictures and memes that followed the shutting down of sports, bars, businesses, and churches, and the mobs at Costco hoarding toilet paper:

That's a "World War Z" movie reference.  Click here for context.




And then we started drinking.  I remember it from hurricanes in Florida- the booze was the first thing to fly off the shelves for the party-like atmosphere that was part of many folks' disaster preps.  Maybe not the smartest way to prepare, especially considering Florida's late COVID response (and growing infection rate), but that's the Sunshine State for you.  Sorry Beans.  I read that alcohol sales were initially up 55% nationwide and now some reports say it's up as much as 300%.  Sláinte !


The Quarantini

And many of us started teleworking.  I realized after a few days of it that I need to get up, shower and have breakfast before I log into the network, otherwise I'll find myself still in my robe and slippers when it's time for lunch!




All our kids came home as well.  For the rest of the school year.  That means that millennial college grads just started living in your basement 3 months early.




In the middle of all this we had Congress being as dysfunctional as ever and completely disconnected to what the entire country was thinking.  They were arguing over what should have been an extremely straightforward relief bill, aka stimulus package, but they had to bicker over how much BS they were going to add to it.  Never let a crisis go to waste indeed, especially not when they can screw the taxpayer.


Yeah, the Speaker's New Green Deal additions to the bill were idiotic, but fortunately most of them didn't make it into the signed version.  I feel for all the folks out of work, and this quarantine is going to hurt for a long long time, but the stimulus is pushing us to the brink of fiscal insolvency.  Our National Debt is in crazy town now,  sitting at 23 TRILLION.  Our ability to service the debt, much less pay it off, is nearing the impossible.  Sorry great grandkids- we left you a sloppy mess that you and your ancestors will be paying off for your entire lifetimes. 

We also had a stupid TDS argument over what to call the disease.  Never mind that dozens of reporters, most from the left, were calling it the Wuhan Virus, Chinese Corona Virus, or some variation thereof, they needed to break out the old "racist" saw to paint Trump in a bad light.  Hey CNN, China is a place, not a race! Although, they know that very well, they just don't care.  My favorite political cartoonist wasn't having it.


Meanwhile, my test results came back!


Finally, there are quite a few parody songs out there to remind us to wash our hands and stay away from each other, even shame us into it.  Here's the best of them, but click the link to see more good ones.  


This COVID-19 disease is bad, and we're going to continue to lose people, but we cope by making jokes.  Our quarantine is working, and we're slowly flattening the curve, although I'm fattening my curves.  I really miss sports, going out to eat, and I also miss my son.  We're restricted from visiting him in his group home since they have some older residents.  This will be over soon hopefully.  Although soon is very open to interpretation.  Until then, keep the funny stuff coming!

20 comments:

  1. Social distancing, stay inside, keep clean.......OMG I've turned into a housecat!! Excellent posting Tuna, these are really good choices.

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    1. As long as you don’t start licking your own ass like a cat... Um, how are your TP stocks?

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  2. A bit f humor in these stressful times is just what the doctor ordered. Not that I'm a doctor or anything...

    Good one Tuna.

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  3. Some good info--

    https://medium.com/@mycahyaeggleston/covid-19-had-us-all-fooled-but-now-we-might-have-finally-found-its-secret-666bdc7b0e06

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    1. I sent that to a neighbor of mine, a former Navy VADM and MD, and this was his response: In short, I think what the author postulates as cause is really an end stage observation. As hypoxia increases and the cytokine storm rages hemoglobin dissociates, the Fe is released and oxidizes sending the agonal process on it’s final irreversible path.
      I have no objection to the off-label use of chloroquine or its hydroxy analogue, azithromycin and zinc in an uncontrolled environment. The real evidence of the efficacy of these and/or other agents await the completion of controlled studies that are currently underway.
      You go to war with what you’ve got, not with what you wish you had.

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  4. Just a great collection of memes that - at least I haven't seen - on every blog or web site out there. Kudos!
    -
    I like Wilson the best :)

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    1. He's a good dog, and a very dedicated worker.

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  5. Here's another great quarantine song...be warned though, once it gets into your head, you'll be humming it forever...

    https://youtu.be/I3xpRZITi2w

    Diane

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    1. Good one! Was that Charlie Sheen guzzling from the Lysol container?

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  6. It's okay to knock some of Florida, because, well, the New York City Invasion of Miami-Dade-Broward area totally hosed the state stats-wise. And in my own pleasant Democratic People's Republic of Alachuacountystan, capital city of Gainesgrad, the University of Beijing in Gainesville (also known as the University of Florida) has a large, vibrant diverse population from all provinces of Communist China, and some Americans, too! Said Communist Chinese went home for winter break (interestingly enough, coinciding with the last weeks of Advent and the 12 Days of Christmas, but that is just coincidence (bite me, non-Christians. It's CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!!)) and then came back with some weird lingering cough not-seasonal-flu and hacked and horked all over my fair city, then some of their relatives came to visit (bugged out ahead of the quarantines) and there you go. Plus asshatted young students (Under 21... Of Course) just had to Spring Break (which did not coincide with Palm Sunday through Easter like it did in the old days, dangit) and do the whole sex-drugs-booze thingy, and brought even more of the Wuhan Communist China Novel Corona 2019 to, well, my fair city. Sons of unwed mothers and intact female dogs of breeding age, all of them! I'd say a Pox on all their Houses, but, well, somebody already did it.

    Florida's viral response has actually been rather good, ahead of New York, Seattle, Portland, Baltimore, and other places. We didn't go partial suspension of civil rights until aforementioned New York Cityites and stupid students and actual communist Chinese did their bug-out boogie to my fair and wonderful state.

    Publix, the greatest supermarket chain ever (And I will Defend That Statement, Sirs and Ma'ams, to my dying days)(and Publix is probably the best thing to come out of the Miami-Dade area, second best would be a good Cuban sandwich) acted quickly and started separating and limiting people in the store as soon as it was called for, far ahead of Kroger or Walmart or Whole Foods. They also stopped use of reusable bags way before the suggested order came down. And they now have really nice sneeze-shields to go between the customer and cashier.

    So, overall, our state is doing quite well. Except for the infusion of jerks from elsewhere coming here and screwing up.

    Coincidentally, most of the people who refuse to self-isolate and maintain social distancing? Long time Florida residents or Florida natives? Nope. It's the aforementioned chapeau de cul from northern Derriere Habedasheries or 屁股帽 from the Middle Kingdom that are violating.

    Makes me so mad that I want to keep to myself (well, along with the wonderful Mrs. Andrew and Kegan the nice good damned dog.)

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    1. Yup. Publix - all the way. Go Gators! 去鳄鱼! Well close enough. I have a feeling they won't appreciate SEC anyway.

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  7. Tough balance between our need to stay the hell away from people and the govt mandating it. Of course the NYC and left-set want to bash Trump for not declaring a national emergency (oh wait! he DID!!) and enacting martial law or something to miraculously end the virus RIGHT NOW! But they'd be the first to bitch if he did ANYTHING to help. Damn, there I go again. Thanks Beans- you got me all upset again! Ok, off my soapbox. We love Publix too!

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    1. Glad to make sure everyone still has a working heart. :)

      Does California have a Publix equivalent?

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    2. Nothing even close. Just remembering my time in Tampa and the visits to the Gulf Coast.

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  8. Thanks all the way around, Tuna. Miss Jeanie and I really enjoyed the post. She even stopped reloading her SIG Sauer mags for a few minutes to laugh with me.
    As an aside, I always get my ammo in bandoliers. It saves so much time.

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    1. While I"m seeing new ones daily recently, memes are only good for periodic blog material, otherwise I could share more. If you're on social media, you'll find them. Glad I could give you both a laugh.

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  9. I'm just glad I don't have to home school and kids. Even better they are all out of the house.

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  10. Thanks Tuna!! Needed the laugh. I had seen the black Rifle Coffee guys, but this version I really enjoyed as they were pushing the Red Cross and the need for folks to go donate some blood. Cause all of their blood drives have been cancelled. Cause, like the whole social distancing thingy. But ya can call them up, and make a date, and go get special, individualized, customized treatment while you are donating blood.

    And I am not going to get on my soapbox about the whole mask thing, except to say every time I see someone who is not wearing it correctly, I have to restrain myself from yanking the mask away and smacking them upside the back of the head a la Gibbs. I think of all the health care workers who can not get PPE because these fools sucked it all up. And I know, they might have been smart enough to get a few at a time over the many years, (after all, I did), but looking at them, I seriously doubt it. Those folks know how to wear their masks!! These idiots don't have a clue!!!!

    And I finally figured out how to pick up the occasional pack of TP--ya have to be over 60, and showing up to the store at 8AM--went after my early physical Therapy appointment on Monday--why did I agree to a 7:30 AM appt on a day I do NOT work again??? Anyhoo--stopped into BJ's, stood in line behind everyone else and watched all these grey haired folks coming out with 4-5 big bundles of TP. Then I realized I was standing in the under 60 line that can't get in until 9AM. I just was feeling younger than my age that day...must be what it was...And yes, I did get 1 bundle of TP, and yes, I left the other few bundles for other folks.

    Did think it was funny--only pasta in the pasta aisle was chickpea pasta...who knew that was even a thing??? Pasta made out of chick peas?? And I like chick peas--but not as a pasta....gotta be reeeal hungry to buy that!!!

    Wash your hands, clean all those touch points daily, and stay the hell home!!! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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    1. Yeah, we all need some humor. Then again, I can find something funny about a funeral, but I have a dark sense of humor sometimes.

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  11. Ha ha. Or, as Uncle Joe used to say:

    https://images.app.goo.gl/ktYEStwrTm7vjofD8

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)