COVID Funnies

While the title is a little irreverent, sorry Sarge, I know there's nothing funny about a pandemic that is killing people across the world.  However, while the world sits at home deeply entrenched in Social Distancing, the twitter-verse and other social media sites are on fire with memes, jokes and general hilarity.  And all this time I thought Social Distancing was when we unfriend people on koobecaF.

At the outset of this whole thing, when events were being cancelled, but before the economy was crushed and we were we hiding in our homes, there were a couple jokes like the one I heard before St. Patrick's Day:

Did you hear that Dublin cancelled the St. Paddy's day parade due to the Corona Virus?   The Irish were so upset they started drinking 500 years ago.

At the time, the virus hadn't gotten too bad and we were questioning the need for all those cancellations:

The Corona Virus has killed like what...12 people in the United States?. Jeffrey Dahmer ate more people than that.

Did you hear that the fear over this virus is getting so bad that people are actually trading sex for food?  Anyways, I got a Klondike Bar! 

Then there were the pictures and memes that followed the shutting down of sports, bars, businesses, and churches, and the mobs at Costco hoarding toilet paper:

That's a "World War Z" movie reference.  Click here for context.

And then we started drinking.  I remember it from hurricanes in Florida- the booze was the first thing to fly off the shelves for the party-like atmosphere that was part of many folks' disaster preps.  Maybe not the smartest way to prepare, especially considering Florida's late COVID response (and growing infection rate), but that's the Sunshine State for you.  Sorry Beans.  I read that alcohol sales were initially up 55% nationwide and now some reports say it's up as much as 300%.  Sláinte !

The Quarantini

And many of us started teleworking.  I realized after a few days of it that I need to get up, shower and have breakfast before I log into the network, otherwise I'll find myself still in my robe and slippers when it's time for lunch!

All our kids came home as well.  For the rest of the school year.  That means that millennial college grads just started living in your basement 3 months early.

In the middle of all this we had Congress being as dysfunctional as ever and completely disconnected to what the entire country was thinking.  They were arguing over what should have been an extremely straightforward relief bill, aka stimulus package, but they had to bicker over how much BS they were going to add to it.  Never let a crisis go to waste indeed, especially not when they can screw the taxpayer.

Yeah, the Speaker's New Green Deal additions to the bill were idiotic, but fortunately most of them didn't make it into the signed version.  I feel for all the folks out of work, and this quarantine is going to hurt for a long long time, but the stimulus is pushing us to the brink of fiscal insolvency.  Our National Debt is in crazy town now,  sitting at 23 TRILLION.  Our ability to service the debt, much less pay it off, is nearing the impossible.  Sorry great grandkids- we left you a sloppy mess that you and your ancestors will be paying off for your entire lifetimes. 

We also had a stupid TDS argument over what to call the disease.  Never mind that dozens of reporters, most from the left, were calling it the Wuhan Virus, Chinese Corona Virus, or some variation thereof, they needed to break out the old "racist" saw to paint Trump in a bad light.  Hey CNN, China is a place, not a race! Although, they know that very well, they just don't care.  My favorite political cartoonist wasn't having it.

Meanwhile, my test results came back!

Finally, there are quite a few parody songs out there to remind us to wash our hands and stay away from each other, even shame us into it.  Here's the best of them, but click the link to see more good ones.  

This COVID-19 disease is bad, and we're going to continue to lose people, but we cope by making jokes.  Our quarantine is working, and we're slowly flattening the curve, although I'm fattening my curves.  I really miss sports, going out to eat, and I also miss my son.  We're restricted from visiting him in his group home since they have some older residents.  This will be over soon hopefully.  Although soon is very open to interpretation.  Until then, keep the funny stuff coming!