Monday, October 6, 2014

DNIF


So….There I was”* I’ve been flying F-15s at Kadena for about 6 months and am getting upgraded to Flight Lead.  I don’t remember the exact requirements for how many and what type of rides were required, but one sticks out to this day, a defensive 1 v 1 Basic Fighter Maneuver (BFM) ride.  Before I get into this, a little background, we had just gotten a new Fighter Weapons School graduate as the Squadron Weapons Officer.  The Weapons Officer was supposed to be the squadron’s expert on weapons and tactics used in the combat employment of the F-15 as well as the training of the pilots in their use.  Fighter Weapons School was not for the faint of heart.  Conducted at Nellis, there was a fair bit of course work, but there was also quite a bit of flying, in all types of missions, from 1 v 1s to X v X.  The latter code meaning that neither side knew exactly how many aircraft from the “other” team there were.  The difficulty in maintaining situation awareness goes up exponentially with each additional aircraft.  X v X is as close to combat as possible in a training mission.  But, as usual, I digress.  Weapons school missions briefed two hours prior to takeoff and were typically about an hour long, and then the debrief started.  It was not unusual for a debrief to last 6 hours.  So, a difficult school that prepared some outstanding fighter pilots.  I am not a Fighter Weapons School graduate,  the above was presented as background to the mindset of my opponent on this particular ride.

Evidently, Weapons School had a defensive BFM where the student was in front and the instructor took up position 30 degrees of his tail and 3000’ out.  The requirement to pass the ride was the instructor could not take a valid gun shot.  The gun on an F-15 was good out to 2500’, and a break turn by the student would generate enough closure that the instructor would be in gun range almost immediately.
My estimate is this Eagle is about 2000' away, but it's been awhile!
Creative Commons

This was an almost impossibly hard ride to pass.  Being the new Squadron Weapons Officer, and wanting to establish himself in that position he told me that this would be the scenario for the flight lead upgrade ride I was briefing in the morning, including the requirement for passing.  Did I mention he and I weren’t best friends?  Yes, well….
As I ponder how to handle the tactical problem, I realize the only advantage I have is that I get to call “fight’s on”, meaning I get to determine when we can begin maneuvering.  I intend to use that extra nanosecond to my advantage.

So, I get through the briefing, step to the jet, crank and take off.  Get out to the area, do our G warmup exercises.  Basically, we perform a series of 90 degree turns, pulling to the G-limit of the aircraft (9 G’s), to make sure everything is tied down, the aircraft isn’t having any difficulties, and the pilot is capable of pulling those G’s.  Sorry, Sarge, more digression.

Juvat, What’s a G?  Well, grasshopper, as I sit at my computer, I am pulling 1 G.  One unit of gravity.  If I pull 2 G’s, I am experiencing the effect of twice the pull of the earth’s gravity, 3 G’s =3 times etc.  Most roller coasters pull 2-3 with some going as high as 4.  Now a couple of additional facts about the effect of G.  First, Blood, as in that stuff in your arteries and veins that is needed by the brain to keep you alive, is a fluid.  As such, your heart maintains a certain blood pressure to keep it circulating.  Under G, any fluid will tend to go to the closest part of the body to the center of gravity. That tends to be your butt and below. By tensing all the muscles in that area, a pilot can slow the flow of blood and keep himself conscious, but pulling G’s is hard work.

Second, everything weighs their normal weight times the G load.  A 200lb pilot pulling 9 G’s weighs 1800 pounds.  A human head nominally weighs 20lbs and at 9 G’s weighs 180lbs.  Lifting your arm to move a switch while pulling 9 G’s is hard work.

Third, when pulling G’s, you want your spine from top to bottom to be straight and as close as possible parallel to the center of lift.  That way the G’s are pushing straight down on your spine and the G-load is distributed evenly up and down that information superhighway. And that brings us to, as Paul Harvey used to say “The rest of the story”.

We’re done with the warm up, and I maneuver the flight to get the instructor into position for the first fight.  I’ve always preferred a left turning fight.  With my right hand on the stick, I can turn around further in the cockpit and keep track of him better.  In a right turning fight, my right arm impedes the amount I can turn.  It’s a small difference, but I’m going to use it.

 “One’s ready”. “Two’s Ready”.

 I turn around in the seat, have him in sight.  Light the afterburners and as I do, my upper torso moves ever so slightly forward. “Fight’s ON!” 

Slap the stick to the left and then back to center.  Plant it back in my lap and as I feel the G start to come on, my head drops on to my chest.  I can’t force it back up because of the G Load.  No pain whatsoever.  WTF?  “Knock it off”. “One Knock it off”.  “Two, Knock it off”.  I roll out.  Out of AB.  As soon as the G is off the aircraft, I can lift my head.  Still no pain.  I know what I did, feeling a bit stupid, I get the flight back into position and set it up again.  I really, really want to pass this ride.  

“One’s ready”. “Two’s Ready”.  “Fight’s On!”.  Straight as I can possibly be, load up the jet to 9 G’s and…my head flops over onto my chest.  “Knock it off” ”. “One Knock it off”.  “Two, Knock it off”. 

I roll out and dial Kadena in the inertial nav system.  Turn towards home, 150 miles out about 20 minutes, nothing but ocean in between.  Neck really doesn’t hurt, just feels weak.  Explain to the instructor, that I think I’ve injured my neck and we’re heading home.  Contact the SOF and explain the situation.  He directs that we declare an emergency, which we do although, I’m not feeling bad, just having a bit of difficulty holding my head steady and my fingers are a little numb.

Setting up for a straight in, I’ve found it’s easier to look around if I turn my torso, rather than my head.  Kind of Herman Munster like. 

Full stop, dearm and back to the shelter.  Shut down, and open the canopy.  Release the straps and try to stand up, but can’t.  Flight Surgeon is there and puts a neck brace on.  That helps and with a bit of help I make it down the ladder.

 Over to the hospital and an X-Ray.  Flight Surgeon takes a look and it appears I have cracked 3 vertebrae in my neck.  By now, my head is somewhat set in a 10 degree left position and all my looking around starts with motion in my waist.

I’m officially DNIF, duty not to include flying.  The Flight Surgeon, a pretty good friend of mine, understands what this means to a pilot.  He outlines the plan.  Wear the brace for a week, then a couple of weeks of physical therapy and see what happens.  

So, that’s what I do.  After the week in the brace, I can’t move my head left or right more than 10 degrees or so.  No pain, just no motion.  I report to the Naval Hospital for Physical Therapy.  That was the last time I called it that.  Afterwards, it was “The Rack and Electrocution”.  They used some electrical stimulation device on my neck and shoulders to “stimulate” my muscles into relaxing.  Really?  I guess when the electric chair finally stops the heart, the muscles relax.  Everything up to that point isn’t relaxing.  Then, we stepped over to the “Rack”.  No kidding, it was the same equipment used in “Thunderball”. 

Unlike James Bond, I didn’t have a beautiful Nurse setting the device on a minimal setting.  No, I had a big, burly Navy Corpsman who set’s it at high from the start and leaves with a “Nice to have met you, Mr. Juvat!”

This goes on for a couple of weeks and doesn’t seem to be helping.  I’m back at the Flight Surgeon, and the new X-Rays don’t show any cracks.  There’s discussion on whether they were there on the originals or whether they were a shadow.  Who knows?  I still have no appreciable ability to turn my head.  Permanent Grounding is starting to be discussed.

I’m pretty down.

Mrs. Juvat and a couple of friends decide we need a night out on the town.  We’ll visit the Japanese Bath House out Gate 2 Street, then have dinner at Sam’s by the Sea.  Now before, I get any chuckles and wink-winks about visiting a Japanese Bath House.  This was in the mid-80s, and Okinawa had cleaned up nicely, much more family friendly.  This Bath House had the wives on one floor, the husbands on another.  You started out with the bath.  You scrubbed yourself off first while sitting on an itty bitty stool with a scrub brush, a bucket, and a hand held shower.  Once clean, you went into what I refer to as the Hot and Cold dipping sauce.  A hot tub and then a cold tub.  The hot tub was way hot, as in slide a toe in and gradually over the course of 15 minutes follow in with the rest of your body.  The cold tub would qualify you for a Polar Bear club membership.  But, surprisingly, after the first cycle, going back into either tub wasn’t so bad.  After about an hour, we were ready for the massage.

I go into another room and lie down on the table. 

After a few minutes, the masseuse comes in. Again before I get any wink-winks, this lady was 4’ no matter how you measured her. Top to bottom, front to back, side to side.  Her fingers were about as big as my wrists.  I’m lying there face down on the table with the towel drapped over my waist.  She takes one look at my neck and left shoulder and starts asking me questions.  Now, I speak very little Japanese.  I can order a beer and find a restroom (what more do you need?).  She speaks no English.  But she’s pointing at where I hurt, so I nod my head.  

She spends the next hour massaging that area.  At one time, she was so deep, I was certain she was massaging my heart.  Sweet Agony!  Finally, she has me sitting Indian style on the table and my head is between her forearms.  She gives it a twist and there is a “CRACK” sound so loud that my friend, who’s on the next table, sits up and asks if I’m alright.  I sit there for a second after hearing the sound, half expecting “fade to black”.  Nothing.  I try my fingers.  No problems wiggling them.  Try my toes.  Same thing.  Try to turn my head….

Moves to the left, not all the way, but darn near.  Try to move it to the right, darn near all the way.  No pain whatsoever.

Next morning, I walk into the Flight Surgeons office and say “Hey Doc, Look!”  then turn my head all the way to the left and right.  He asks what happened and I relate the story of my new best friend, the masseuse.  He clears me to fly and tells me to be careful.  “No kidding?”  I think I’m good with that.

Get back on the schedule and back in the air.  From then on, a common debrief point was “You know, Juvat, you were a little slow getting the G’s on after the Fight’s on call.  You might want to be a little faster there.”  “Yeah, I’ll work on that.”  And I also spent a lot more time in the gym working on my upper body and neck strength.

25+ years later, I’ve got a very accurate indicator of any impending weather changes and if I let my mind wander, I find myself looking about 10 degrees left of center.




*What’s the difference between a fairy tale and a war story?  A fairy tale begins “Once upon a time” and a war story begins “So….There I was.”

Sunday, October 5, 2014

The Glory of God

If you look carefully, there's a cobweb and it's perfect!
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. Luke 2:9

Oddly enough, while mowing the lawn today, I had a bit of an epiphany.

I had turned off the mower and was emptying the bag in The Missus Herself's garden (she plans on covering the ground with the grass clippings for the winter), while doing so I paused.

There were crickets chirping, the wind was sighing through the leaves, it was, in a word, a perfect day.

The folks in church and in the old days always talked about the glory of God and how impressive and awesome it is.


They just do not get it. The Lord reveals Himself to us every single day of our lives.

We just need to pay attention.

The View from My Window

Declare his glory among the heathen, his wonders among all people. Psalm 96:3

Today was a good day.

The Memorial

The Aviator Memorial at NAS Lemoore (Source)
About a year ago The WSO let me know about the effort to raise a memorial to those Naval Aviators who lost their lives in the line of duty. The Lexicans and others raised a lot of money to help make this happen.

The statue was emplaced yesterday, the 4th of October 2014.

During construction the group posted a number of photos showing progess.
Look at the brick on the lower left.
 (Source)

A lot of people worked hard to make this happen. Thanks to all of them and those who contributed the necessary funds.

I'll post more photos when The WSO gets back from Key West.

Until then...

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds -
and done a hundred things You have not dreamed of -
wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence.
Hovering there I've chased the shouting wind along
and flung my eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace,
where never lark, or even eagle, flew;
and, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
the high untrespassed sanctity of space,
put out my hand and touched the face of God

Pilot Officer John Gillespie Magee, Jr. RCAF

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Shhh, It's a Secret...

Ft Walton Beach, Florida
(Google Maps Street View)
Shortly after the last Ice Age, around the time the last mammoth fell into a freezing pond in Siberia (to be found nearly intact thousands of years later), I was a Staff Sergeant in the United States Air Force. Stationed at the Headquarters of the Mighty Strategic Air Command in Omaha, Nebraska. (Actually Bellevue, but everyone always says Omaha. I'm okay with that.)

Back in those halcyon days The Missus Herself had kin whose husbands were also in the United States Air Force. One, married to the youngest sister, was stationed at England Air Force Base which is (surprise) not in England. Rather it was named for Lt Col John B. England, a flyer of the mighty F-86 Sabre who, sadly, lost his life in a training accident. Lt Col England had 6.5 aerial victories in WWII. That is, he was an ace. The base which bore his name (note the past tense, it was closed in '92) was in Alexandria, Louisiana.

But that is not the locale for today's story. No doubt we will visit that place in some future tale. (Which I will tell you now involves beer and fire ants. Exciting, I know.)

Today's story takes place at Hurlburt Field, home of the 1st Special Operations Wing (SOW) where my wife's other Air Force brother-in-law was stationed at the time. This particular chap we have met before, one SSgt Smith. Yup, Uncle Smitty, he of the hamsters.

Now, now, calm down, today's story has nothing to do with hamsters.

So let's get to it.

There I was (technically speaking there we were, there were five of us, but Air Force stories always start out "there I was"), traveling from Nebraska to Louisiana, then on to Ft Walton Beach in Florida. We were making the annual grand tour to visit the sisters of The Missus Herself. This particular day found us at the town house residence of Uncle Smitty. After touring the premises, for this was our first visit, Smitty turned to me and said, "Want to head on out to the base? There's something really cool there I want to show you."

"But of course!" was my ready reply. I am always in the mood to see something cool. Unless the invitation begins with, "Watch this shit" or "Hold my beer." Both of those phrases are warning signs that something cool, but undoubtedly dangerous and a threat to life and limb, is about to occur. It wasn't that kind of cool, but a different kind of cool which involved military aircraft of a type not manufactured in these United States.

So, Smitty and I hopped into the Smitty-mobile and headed on base. Oh, it's important that I tell you that it was night. It's dark out, we're driving onto a special operations base and about to see something "cool." Whet your appetite yet?

Smitty pulls up to a dimly lit hangar, in the near distance are various flying machines, but they are not our destination. We're going towards the hangar, Smitty asks if I have my military ID with me. Of course, the answer is yes. That's almost like asking me, "Are you wearing pants?" Unless I'm in my boudoir, I'm wearing pants.

Oh yeah, and carrying my military ID. I won't leave home without it!

Various and sundry aircraft belonging to the 6th Special Operations Squadron of the 1st SOW.
(Pretty neat huh?) U.S. Air Force photograph by Airman 1st Class Ali Flisek (Public domain)

I'm expecting something really clandestine as we enter the hangar, where we encounter a DoD (Department of Defense) type security guy. Don't think cool looking dude with shades and an ear piece wearing a suit. Nope, more like mall cop, only the guy actually has a pistol in a holster. So right there, bit of a let down.

Some idle chit-chat, how's-it-going-fellas kind of thing then the obligatory showing of the ID cards to gain access to the hangar. What is going on here, I wonder, what is Smitty playing at?

We enter the hangar and there sit two Soviet military helicopters. An Mi-8 "Hip" transport and next to that is an honest-to-God Soviet Mi-24 "Hind" gunship.

AWESOME!

Mi-8 in Indian Air Force livery
Photo by Mark Steele (Public domain)
Mi-24 "Hind" Gunship
Camera Operator: MSGT STEVEN TURNER (Public domain)

I was absolutely dazzled by these two, very robust, very Russian-looking helicopters. The Hind looked every bit as mean and nasty as in the photo. Like some sort of giant, prehistoric predatory insect.

So there we were, oohing and aahing over the Soviet hardware. (Which were not painted up in Soviet livery but the livery, sans identifying markings, of a certain Central American country with which we weren't exactly friendly towards. Whose name starts with an "N." Said country having a very large lake which is the only fresh water lake in the world with sharks. Yeah, sharks. But you didn't hear this from me. 'Kay?) Meanwhile in the entry hallway we hear two guys talking, one seems unhappy, the other seems perturbed that the unhappy guy is being, dare I say, an asshole?

Well, new guy, another mall cop DoD uniformed security dude, comes charging into the hangar and tells us that we must "leave immediately, this is classified stuff, how did you get in here?", etc., etc.

"Uh, your colleague let us in." sayeth I.


"Give me your IDs", sayeth mall cop DoD uniformed security dude.

"I don't bloody think so!", sayeth SSgt Smith. Countering with "I work here buddy, let me see your ID!"

After some posturing, chest thumping and throwing of small trees around, Smitty and I departed the land of the super secret Russian helicopters. We went over to his shop and looked at all the cool weapons he maintained. (He was a weapons guy, what we called a "BB stacker" - no really, it's a term of endearment.)

The next day we all went to the beach. While enjoying the sun and the sand of a hot Florida day, what did we hear in the distance? The thumping sound of a military helicopter, a big military helicopter, coming our way.

There it was, flying right down the surf line, an Mi-8 Hip ("our" Hip - the one from super secret hangar land), crew hanging out the windows staring at the young ladies in their bathing suits. Waving and generally behaving like aircrew everywhere. With youthful exuberance.

At that point, Smitty and I both jump to our feet and start yelling at the other beach goers...

"Stop looking! That's a secret helicopter. Don't look! Ahhhh!"

Then we fell to the sand, laughing like a pair of loons.

The two sisters just looked at us, as if to say...

"You're both idiots."

It was a long time ago, I can't be sure, but I think beer was involved.

Maybe.

Friday, October 3, 2014

I May Regret This...

F-4G Front Cockpit
(Photo courtesy of the National Museum of the Air Force)
Back in November of 2013 I wrote a little something called Tales from the Ramp - Boarding Ladders, my good buddy Murphy's Law (not his real name, obviously) used the knowledge imparted by that post to get hisself in trouble out Sandy Eggo way, on board the good museum ship USS MIDWAY (CV-41).

Now there are two, count them, two, F-4 Phantoms sitting on the flight deck.

The F-4s that Murphy "played with" are indicated by the big red arrows.
(No, those arrows are not there on the actual ship.) - Google Maps

It seems that Murphy (educated by my post) decided to exercise that new found knowledge on a real F-4. Which he found on MIDWAY. Actually he exercised his new skills on TWO F-4s. Yup, the two F-4s on MIDWAY. He has a quite humorous post on that adventure here.

Now as to the title of this post. I'm now going to tell you everything I know about the ejection seats in the F-4 Phantom.

I really, really hope Murph doesn't have a trip to Sandy Eggo in the near future. If so, I really, really hope that the seats in those two MIDWAY F-4s have been either removed or deactivated. Because I really like Murph and his blog.

Oh, did I mention in the post about boarding ladders that I also mentioned how to open the canopies on the F-4? Murph took a picture of the buttons used to open them on the F-4. He mentioned that he assumed that some sort of power was required to use them.

You know what they say about assumptions, right?

Oh crap, Murph now knows how to deploy the boarding ladder and open the canopies. (Let's hope that somehow they have "locked" those canopies. Though truth be told, there is no way to do that in the aircraft as delivered.)

Oh dear, what have I done?

Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound I always say. (Seriously I do say that from time to time.)


Ejection seats, specifically the Martin-Baker Mk. H-7 Ejection Seats as installed on the F-4C and F-4D models of the mighty Phantom II. (Sidebar, cool website on ejection seats of all types.) Bear in mind, much of what I'm about to tell you is from memory. Some of it is shrouded in legend and mystery, tales told from father to son, down through the murky corridors...

Sorry. (Yup, digressed there didn't I?)

There were two things about the F-4 that actually scared the shit out of  terrified me.
  1. The -60 ground power unit
  2. The ejection seats in the jet
I know, I know. Pay attention to your training and everything will be fine.

Sure.

The -60 I will cover at another time. (I still wake up in a sweat from a couple of memories of that beast!)

Now the ejection seats were normally safed by five (?) safety pins and a strut. (I seem to recall, no doubt Russ will correct me if in error, he worked old Double Ugly much longer than I. And a lot of what I knew, he taught me. Not that I'm pointing fingers or blaming anyone!)

The strut wasn't really part of safing the seat, it was there to keep the canopy from "accidentally" closing on unsuspecting humans. Or tools left on the canopy sill. Bad for people, bad for tools, bad for canopy.

Now those pins, they were all part and parcel of one of those "Remove Before Flight" deals, which worked very well, if used properly. You know those red streamers meant to catch one's attention? Similar to those in the next photo.

Aviation Ordnancemen, assigned to Weapons Department, G-1 Division, attach
"remove before flight" caution tags to AIM-9L Sidewinder infrared guided
air-to-air missiles aboard the Nimitz-class aircraft carrier
USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72).
U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate 3rd Class Tyler Clements
Ahem!

Now bear with me as I try to remember where all the pins went. Oh, before I do that, how about a nice picture of the seat?

I got this photo from Pinterest, but it seems to be in multiple places on the web.
(What that means is, if this is your photo, let me know and I'll credit you. Capisce? See next line...
(UPDATE Source - Kevin Coyne Photo, H/T To the Wing Wife!)

Okay, the pins (here is very good description of this seat):
  1. This is the pin used to prevent the seat from firing when the face curtain is pulled down. (Those two yellow and black loops at the top of the seat.)
  2. This pin prevents you from pulling up on the emergency harness release. (The yellow and black thingee. Which cuts the pilots harness, gives the crew a clean separation from the seat in an emergency. During ejection that happens "automagically" - as we engineers like to say.)
  3. First of all there is that red guard which swings up to prevent your hands from grabbing the ejection handle (again the yellow and black thingee) between your legs, there is a pin (I think) to keep you from accidently swinging that guard down. (Junior airmen who don't know any better like to fiddle with things like this. The pin prevents that. Sort of.)
  4. There is a pin underneath the seat which goes into the rocket pack. Yes, I said rocket pack. The video you will see shortly (stop right there, don't watch it now) shows the rocket blasting the seat out of the jet. You don't want that going off accidently now, do you?
  5. This pin is used to safe the crewman's emergency oxygen bottle. If one has to eject at high altitude, you'll need something to breathe until you get down to thicker air. If the bottle isn't safed then, yes you guessed it, Airman Schmuckatelli might play with it and let all the oxygen out. Bad, very bad.
One key point you should have picked up by now, if you're in an F-4 cockpit and you see something colored yellow and black. DON'T TOUCH IT!!! (M'kay?)

So now you know some of the many safety mechanisms which prevent maintainers blowing themselves out of the jet. Not good for the jet or the canopies either. Things burn, things get broken. Taxpayers get soaked with the bill. Bad, very bad.

I have heard of instances of airmen accidentally initiating the ejection seat in an F-4. Real horror stories, you don't live to talk about it. One of my subordinates and I had this conversation one fine day at Kunsan Air Base, Land of the Morning Calm.

Airman Schmuckatelli: "But Sarge, it's a zero-zero seat, right? I mean a pilot can be sitting on the runway, not moving and he can blast himself out of the jet to safety, right?"

Your Humble Scribe: "Now see here Schmuckatelli, when the pilots are in the jet, they're all strapped in. They have leg restraints to pull their legs in and a harness which tucks their arms in all nice and neat. When you're in the jet, do you have that? Are you strapped in?"

Airman Schmuckatelli: "Well no Sarge, but I could hold on really tight, right?"

Your Humble Scribe: "No, would you like to hit a wall in a car doing 60 and be holding on real tight?"

Airman Schmuckatelli: "Well no Sarge that wouldn't work because..."

Airman Schmuckatelli: "Oh."

Your Humble Scribe: "What are ya gonna do now Shmuck?"

Airman Schmuckatelli: "Check that the ejection seats are safe?"

Your Humble Scribe: "That's my boy."

So Murph, don't be running out to Sandy Eggo to test all this knowledge out. Take my word for it, all that stuff works as advertised. Unlike the boarding ladder, you won't have just mad docents to worry about. If you play with the ejection seat, who will feed your dogs?

Like I said, "Bad, very bad!" (And yeah, I may regret this...)


Now here's that video I promised you (the last few minutes are not about ejection seats, but are interesting anyway - and Buck, there's no cheesy music.)

Enjoy.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Phantom Bites

F-4J of VF-96 "Showtime 100"
(US Navy National Museum of Naval Aviation Photo)
Anyone who has ever worked on the mighty F-4 Phantom II knows exactly what I mean by a "Phantom bite." Old Double-Ugly was built low to the ground, there was not a whole lot of clearance underneath that mighty warbird.

Start hanging MERs and TERs* and wing tanks and such and it can get pretty crowded down there. Even with a clean airframe, there are doors, antennae and all sorts of other protuberances under there which just can't wait to have their pound of flesh from an unsuspecting maintainer.

F-4 at Zaragoza AB June 1984
(Photo by Scott R Wilson, Source)

Now that bird up above at Zaragoza is fairly "clean" underneath. There's a TER on the outboard station (where we always had a fuel tank) and what is either a fuel tank or maybe even a gun pod on the centerline station, I'm leaning towards a tank as it looks too fat to be a gun pod. (No doubt Juvat will correct me if I'm mistaken.)

But look at the gear doors and such, there is lots of stuff under there to nip you if you're not paying attention.

F-4 sitting on the flight deck of the USS Yorktown down at Patriots Point in South Carolina
(Source)

To the left in the photo above is the nose gear strut, just aft of that is the nose gear door, the Sarge's personal favorite. That sucker gave me the best Phantom bite I ever had. I think it goes a long way towards explaining why I am so, shall we say, goofy?

It was on Okinawa, Kadena Air Base, way back in the mid-Seventies.

Kadena now-a-days, where I worked was inside that yellow circle.
I don't see the Radar Calibration dock, seems the base has changed a lot since '78!
(Google Maps)

Up inside the nose wheel well was a container of desiccant, a substance used to remove moisture from the air going to the avionics equipment. Water and electronic gear do not get along very well! When the desiccant turned white, it was time to change it. (Brand new it was a very nice shade of blue.)

My job that day was to change the desiccant. As a newbie it was one of the few things I could do without a whole lot of supervision. Pretty much limited to, "Hey, knucklehead, change the desiccant. And try not to kill yourself doing it." (I didn't understand that last bit really, no power on the aircraft, all the safety stuff was installed. I should be fine.)

So I laid into that desiccant container like a pro. Had it swapped out, nice new shade of blue in there, and was just safety-wiring it down. That's when I heard -

"Airman! Ain't you done with that yet?"

Well, old Sergeant Jerry was on the right side of that bird and I was sitting under the bird facing forward. When he yelled my name I responded rapidly.

Rapidly and without a thought in my damn-fool head I turned to listen to my Sergeant. As I turned, to the right, rapidly, trying to demonstrate my alacrity and willingness to obey, SMACK!!!

Right side of head, meet nose gear door. Nose gear door, meet the right side of Your Humble Scribe's noggin.

Man, it's broad daylight, where'd all those stars come from?

Why do I hear birds singing out on the flightline?

Why am I laying down under the jet? Sarge ain't gonna like that.

"Hey, Goody**, you okay? Jesus, that was quite a whack you took. Why did you turn around so fast? Hey, buddy, can you hear me?"

"Yeah, Sarge, I hear you. What the heck happened?"

Sergeant Jerry explained what had happened and though I sustained no permanent (I think) damage, I did have quite a knot on the side of my head for a couple of days. Damn, that hurt, I really rang my bell with that one.

Needless to say, I learned to move much more circumspectly around the aircraft in the future. While I did sustain a few nicks and bruises from the mighty Phantom, nothing major. You might say that the jet hit me "up side the head" trying to get my attention.

Yeah, she got my attention alright.







* MER= Multiple Ejector Rack, held six bombs. TER = Triple Ejector Rack, held three bombs.
** Goody, one of my many nicknames.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Gray Skies, Wet Ground

The summer is gone...
The sky is gray, the drizzle continuous. It seems that only a few short days ago we had this -



The air was warm, the sun was shining, the robins were still tussling in the garden. Oh brave robin red-breast, what is the cause of your strife? The ladies have retreated to the deep wood, the summer is gone, fall is here and your struggles are in vain.

Now the north wind begins to stir, the leaves, though colorful in spots, begin to fall from the trees.

Normally the leaves of our saw-toothed aspen go brown, then fall.
This year they are showing some color. Still they fall so fast.

The fallen leaves litter the dying grass. Winter? Not now, but soon. All too soon.
The Rose of Sharon has dropped its flowers. The last of the red peppers will be harvested soon.

The streets glisten with the much needed rain. The land has been groaning for moisture, not as bad as some places, but many reservoirs are very, very low. This rain, though somewhat depressing, will help restore the fields and forests of my beloved New England.

Big Girl in the rain.
(That's what I call my Honda Element. What, you don't name your vehicle?)

Some people hate these gray days, not I. It's all part and parcel of the changing of the seasons. Those warm fall days where the sun kisses the golden fields and the autumn foliage are so much the sweeter when they follow the gray drizzle of late September.

Besides which, some of the most beautiful poetry in the English language was written about days like this. Savor these days, soon the blast of Winter will be upon us. For now, enjoy the sweet, sweet smell of Autumn, even when it's raining upon these fair hills and valleys.