Magical Mystery Tour...

Yes, my human is lazy...
And this affects me how?

Sasha (the feline in the opening photo) is my chief-of-staff, or perhaps I am hers. The organization chart is rather unclear on that. I do know that of the humans in the family I serve as the titular head of the household. I am allowed out on the balcony to wave at the adoring masses...

Look it's our neighbor out on the front stoop again. Who the Hell is he waving at?

I dunno, chap is stark raving mad if you ask me...

Um, yeah. Anyhoo. After a few days of "Holy crap, that's a lot of comments." I kinda throttled back and had a very light post (though photograph heavy) for Saturday. Again, as it is summer, AND we have a lot of new folks reading the blog, I wanted to go back in time again.

What another bloody rerun?

Um, yes, sorry but I am having a very serious attack of lazy today. But hey, it's a tale of my trip out to Lemoore four years ago...

Seriously, four years ago, has it been that long?

Sorry about these continual "asides" in italics, I'm trying to be clever. Don't know if it's working or not. Anyhoo, today's Sunday Rerun actually consists of two posts from two days back in August of 2013. My first trip to the Officers Club at NAS Lemoore and my first flight in the F/A-18E flight simulator. Good times.

If you hate the reruns, let me know. I'm not saying I'll stop but you never know. (Traffic on the weekends is pretty light around here in the summer anyway but I don't wish to annoy the regulars.)

Another rerun?
I'm out...

That's Anya, Sasha's sister, she is easily bored. I'm rather hoping you're not...

Me and the VFA-94 Board at the O-Club
For Those Who Didn't Know, Lex Commanded VFA-94.

Had a great day, not really counting the furniture shopping. Long story short, kids are buying a house, they (well actually The WSO and The Missus Herself) are shopping for furniture. So, we've spent an hour or twelve doing that. Not a problem, me and Little Bit have terrorized a few furniture stores in Fresno. We're having fun while the others debate the relative merits of one sofa versus another. Big Time has a "get out of jail free card" he's had to work the past few days.

Anyhoo. There was a patching today at the Lemoore O-Club, FNGs coming out of VFA-122 heading to their first operational squadron. Loads of fun, lots of insulting commentary regarding the FNGs and lots of adult beverages.

At any rate, this is the first chance I've had to actually be onboard NAS Lemoore. Got to have a couple of Guinness in one of Lex's old haunts and got to hang out with some of America's finest.

After finishing Guinness Number Two, I noticed a newbie, call sign Tight Pants (a guy by the way) carrying a pitcher of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale...


This Stuff

So this guy became my new best friend. A fine gentleman, a true representative of American manhood. He kept me well supplied. A good time was had by all.

Though one thing distressed me greatly. There are backwoods swamps in Louisiana with clearer water than the pool at the O-Club. Seems that "due to sequestration" they can't afford to put the pool in service. Nice. I think we should make Congress come out and swim at the Lemoore O-Club.

Bastards.

Anyhoo (once again), it was a good day. A real good day.

Tomorrow should also be awesome. I have sim time from 1045 to 1145.

Sim time you ask, what's that?

Yours truly gets to plant his not insubstantial derrière in an F/A-18 flight simulator. On the base. Same thing the pilots and WSOs train on. That's going to be sweet!

Big Time is an awesome son-in-law...

The Sun Sets on Another Fine Old AF Sarge Day
(Sometimes it's good to be me!)

Et la seconde et dernière partie -

Okay, that's not the view from a Rhino as you approach "the boat", but it gives you a pretty good idea what I was seeing in the simulator today. Well, kind of...

I was always a bit high. To my credit I didn't do a ramp strike.

So I had that going for me.

Got to the sim building on time (which can be a minor miracle when you have to get a three year old ready at the same time!) I settled into "the jet" right around 1045 local. After adjusting the rudder pedals and the seat, we were ready to go. Son-in-law Big Time was my instructor and he's a good one. Tells you what to do and why you do it a particular way.

After an unfortunate, "What the Hell was that?" incident, (Big Time hit a button, all I saw was the "red screen o' Death" then we reset) we were ready for take-off. Out of NAS Miramar of all places!

F9F-6P of VC-61 over NAS Miramar
(Back in the day)

When Big Time said we were ready to go, the throttles went forward, past the detent and into 'burner. As he put it, "Guess you know about that part..." As he started to speak again I had already eased in a bit of right rudder to correct a rather disturbing "Hey look, I'm heading off the left side of the runway" problem.

In moments we were "airborne", simulated of course.

This sim was rather placid, no movement to give you a feel for flying, but rather nice displays and sound. We seemed to be flying around the time of nautical twilight. Either that or someone needed to crank up the brightness and contrast. Heh.

I was at 20K in no time flat so we played around for a while. Did a loop, which was alright until I did the old "look straight up and back to acquire the horizon" thing only to note that the all-around displays weren't quite 360-degrees. Directly overhead, nothing. So I looked right, reacquired the horizon and pulled out comfortably with beaucoup altitude to spare. I hadn't tied the low altitude record yet!

Next I wanted to build up some smash. I suppose I could have put the nose down to gain airspeed but where's the fun in that? Past the detent and into 'burner I went (after all we're in the sim, who cares about fuel conservation?)

When I got her going pretty good, I pulled back to military power, rolled left and pulled the stick back hard into a pretty sweet high-G turn. Big Time showed me the read-out, I think I got it up to 5-Gs. But as you couldn't really feel it, it wasn't that much fun. So I figured I would do some more maneuvering to see if I could at least not look like an idiot while "flying".

Did a rather nice Immelmann (again, the lack of a full 360 display was a bit disconcerting), then from there went into a Split-S. (Yes, I did check the altitude first!) While enjoying the sight of the displays reacting to my maneuvering I kind of lost my situational awareness. Next thing I know "Bitching Big Time" is muttering in my ear, "Pull up, pull up". Oh yes, boys and girls, the Old AF Sarge was rapidly approaching tying the low altitude record but through judicious back pressure on the stick (as in trying to touch my spine with the joystick) I managed to level off at a rather uncomfortable 100 feet.

By the way, the simulator displays are rather 3-D. 50 feet lower and I do believe I would've plowed into a ridge. At least it looked like a ridge as it passed rather rapidly under the jet.

So, let's find the boat and try and land this beast.

After some fooling around (and a reset to give me a bit more fuel, remember I went into 'burner more than was probably prudent early in the flight) there was this disturbance on the ocean's surface.

"That's the wake?"

"Yup, of course we're pretty far out yet. It'll get bigger."

Well, technically yes, it does get bigger. But OH MY GOD I HAVE TO LAND WHERE?

Yes, big ocean, small boat. Relatively speaking.

First approach wasn't too bad. Of course, the old timers would no doubt argue that the jet practically lands itself. You can set Automatic Throttle Control (ATC) which will manage your airspeed pretty nicely. Unless you jerk the controls around a bit much. Then the onboard computers decide, "Well, the meatware seems to want to do things his way, alright, YOUR JET!"

Yup, ATC will shut off if your control inputs are, shall we say, a bit rough. Ditto the autopilot. Kind of sucks when you're slamming the jet around trying to stay on path and on glideslope. Gently does it cowboy, gently!

Rhino Heads Up Display (HUD)

So I'm coming in pretty good, just a tad high. Big Time says "chop the power" (or words to that effect), I pull the throttles all the way back. I'm on the deck.

Um, shouldn't I be stopping now? Laughing maniacally, I push the throttles into 'burner and start yelping "bolter, bolter, bolter". Time to try again.

"So Big Time, what happened there?"

"Well, you came down a little hard, so I'm guessing you managed to bounce your 'hook over all four of the wires."

"Well. That sucks."

"Hey, it happens."

"To you?"

"Of course not."

So we went around again. For two more touch and goes. And one low pass over the boat when I realized I had pulled back on the stick instead of pushing forward like my nice IP told me to.

"What was that?"

"Uh, I wanted to wave at the Admiral?"

"Right..."

So our sim time was up. I never did trap, but I didn't damage the carrier in any way. No sailors were harmed.

I also was amazed at just how much seawater those General Electric F414 engines can suck down and still function.

(While I never hit the boat, we did go swimming a couple of times.)

As we departed the sim, the operator guy who controls everything said, "You need a little work on your landings." Yes, we all had a good laugh at that. Nice of him to say "a little", rather than, "Hey, you suck at this!"

All in all, three things today -

1) It's not easy landing on an aircraft carrier,
2) Big Time is a superb instructor,
3) Aircraft carriers only look big when you're not trying to land on them.

Today was:

AWESOME!!!

Oh. Yeah!!!

I hope you enjoyed that blast from the past.

I did, then and now. (I'm a goofball, I like rereading my old posts. Some of 'em anyway...)

Oh, the post title. Again, me trying to be clever...