Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Well, That's Awkward...

Google Street View
So the Muse gave me an idea for a post, sounded excellent. I was going to call it "Roots" (no Tuna, Kunta Kinte doesn't play a role, nor is it about carrots, parsnips, or other root vegetables), it would be a tale of how I live in Little Rhody, but I'm not from here, etc., etc. Seems though that I had already written a similar post three years ago, here.

Then I had the thought of presenting that selfsame post as a rerun. But, I have resolved to only do reruns on Sunday. Today, for those without access to any sources of information, ain't Sunday. Unless you're reading this in the indeterminate future, where it might be Sunday. So if you're reading this, and it is Sunday, stop. Read it tomorrow. (That last bit is for people in the future, any day which is not Tuesday, 29 August 2017. Now if you're reading this in the past, cool. How did you do that and what are next week's winning lottery numbers?)

Anyhoo. So great idea, but I've already done it. Which is something that happens with increasing age. You tell the same stories over and over again. (Which is particularly annoying if you don't have many stories to begin with.) The progeny will often interrupt one of my stories with, "Dad, we've heard that story before..."

Moi: "But it's an excellent story."

Progeny: "Not really Dad..."

Speaking of stories...

When I retired from the Air Force we all lived with my parents for a couple of months while I searched for gainful employment. One day, shortly after arriving in New Hampshire, The Missus Herself and I went up the road to visit with my maternal grandmother and her "boyfriend." (Dude was in his eighties which is why boyfriend is in quotes. Before you get the wrong idea, my grandfather had passed away something like 25 years before then, so it ain't like Gram was stepping out or anything... But I digress.)

Gram: "So Mel, do you remember Chris and his wife?"

(If you gather that Mel wasn't quite all there, you're spot on. Not nuts or senile or anything, he just told the same stories over and over, and... Oh, wait. Never mind.)

Mel: "Of course I do. How have you been?"

Your Humble Scribe: "I'm doing well Mel, we just got back from Germany."

Mel: "I was in Italy during the war."

YHS: "I know Mel, you've told me a few stories of those days."

Mel: "So were you in Germany when the Nazis surrendered?"

YHS: "Yes, Mel. I killed Hitler. OW!!" (The "ow" is because the love of my life kicked me in the shin, quite hard I might add, when I mentioned that I had killed Hitler. And yes, I received the "you're an idiot" look. Actually it was the industrial strength, don't try this at home, "you're an idiot" look.)

And yes, my grandmother was also not pleased that I was having a bit of fun with her beau.

Speaking of Mel. The Nuke is a very clever and perceptive lass, always has been. When she first went up to her great-grandmother's house after we retired, she knew about Mel but thought that he didn't live at Great Gram's place. (He did, off and on. He had his own place, but, well, come on, do I really need to explain that...)

She saw a room with a small desk and a couch and on the door it was labeled "Mel's Room," with labeling tape. (Odd now that I think of it. Do most 80-somethings label the rooms in their abodes? Something to consider...)

The Nuke asked her Great Gram, "Why does Mel have a room in your house?"

Great Gram: "That's where Mel sleeps when he stays over night."

The Nuke: "How come there's no bed in that room?"

Great Gram: "..."

Great Gram: "Want cookies?"

 The Nuke and The WSO: "YAY!! Cookies!!"

Later on though, The Nuke asked me that very same question as to the lack of a bed in "Mel's Room."

YHS: "Um, um, maybe Mel likes sleeping on the floor. I mean he was in the Army in Italy during the war and..."

The Nuke: "I'm asking Mom."

Damn Muse is in the other room giggling. She's making me pay for those few days off when I wasn't returning her calls.


  1. I think I really like The Nuke. Very perceptive. And by the way, every day is Saturday!! ;-}

    1. Oh, that's right, you're retired now.

      Not jealous, not jealous at all...

      Well, maybe a little.

    2. Kendy read this over my shoulder and about died laughing especially about the "you're an idiot look" (she excels at those) and "maybe Mel likes sleeping on the floor". You made her day!!

  2. As Art Linkletter used to say, "Kids say the darndest things."

    1. And she has always been the most logical one in the family.

  3. Yes, a lot of times children are far more perceptive than they get credit for.

    The Hot Chick is a teacher and she had to end her summer of everyday is Saturday yesterday. I gave her a cheerful wave as she drove away then I went back to being retired.

    1. Someday John, someday, I shall join the ranks of the retired and cheerfully wave at people going off to work. That is if I get up that early.

      A teacher? God Bless her, that's not easy work.

  4. You said Mel's room had a desk.
    So, it never occurred that some folks do their best sleeping at a desk.

    Good story!

  5. Well, that was an aMUSEing post. ( My computer is telling me that I mis-spelled the key word in the previous sentence, but spelling is optional in making a point. ) Anyway, thanks for the post.

    Paul L. Quandt

    1. My computer never gets it when I'm trying to be clever.


  6. Cookies. A very good short-term fix for nearly all situations.


    1. Yes and uh...

      What? (Not the sharpest knife in the drawer here. I should get the numbers, but I don't.)

    2. sorry. Lottery numbers for next week.

    3. Ah, so that's why they were vaguely familiar looking.


    4. I'm going to hate myself when I don't buy a ticket.

  7. I don't think the numbers 89 and 97 are in the lottery...but I'm not 100% sure...

    Gotta love kids! That is definitely a very good post. Yah Muse! Besides I know LOTS of folks who sleep on the couch...besides me and the cat when the TV is on. But then I wake up and go to bed. :)

  8. Roots would have worked, although I haven't been much of a muse to you recently. No worries about re-runs, especially since you package them with an intro, relevancy, updates, or something else to keep them fresh. Good and funny story, although Paul stole the a-muse-ing comment I was going to use. That reminds me that I did a bunch of general labor for a couple of women when I was 13 and noticed they only had one bed. Not understanding their relationship, I had to ask where the other sleeps, which went unanswered. My mother explained it to me later and I learned about something I didn't know existed. Your kids probably figured Gram and Mel on their own.

    1. Quite a thing to learn at 13! Damn, I'm not sure how I would have handled that at 13, probably badly.

      Forgive the cheap shot, you know that I pick on you because I like you. Right?

      Roger that on the kids figuring it out on their own.

    2. Shot? Didn't even feel it.


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