Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Leg Workouts

 I knew, boring title, isn't it?

But since our noble host is slaaaacking, and enjoying spending family time rather than keeping us entertained here, it falls to me to bore you.

And, no, didn't get out.  Wife was unwell, so no trips out for me, will try tomorrow.

So what about Leg Workouts?

Mrs. Andrew and I really love watching... equestrian sports.  Especially show jumping. And both of us have this... thing where when said horse jumps said jump, both of us curl our feet and pull our legs up. So badly that by the end of two hours of the finals of individual show jumping at der Olympics our legs and feet hurt.  Along with doing crunches for the same reason.

Oooh, feel the belly crunch, the legs pull up and the feet curl.

 do the same when watching the various fencing competitions, or watching HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts, yes, it's a real thing) and SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism, the idjits who whack each other with rattan batons and get sneered at by the HEMA idjits, even though the HEMA idjits don't know how to use shields right and the SCA idjits hit darned hard.)  I move my arms, shield arm and sword arm.

These are HEMA fighters
They tend to have better armor, fight with 'real' swords and have poopy shield work.

These are SCA fighters
They tend not to have as nice equipment, but they definitely have better defensive shield work
SCA doesn't allow offensive shield work as you can actually kill someone doing that.
SCA fighters also tend to have more fun, be more mellow, not have a stick up their bums
And, no, I am not biased at all...

Heck, I even do shield and sword motions when watching police incorrectly use their shields and batons.

Funny, though, I don't do the same when watching pre-historic NASCAR, otherwise known as Track (run straight, run left, run straight, run left...) or most other sports.

When I do watch football, I'll dig my shoulder in when the hits come.

But mostly I do it in weird sports that other people don't even think about.

Because, well, I'm weird.

Then again, I used to watch my dad do that pilot stick thingy when watching aviation movies, the ones he wasn't shouting at for doing a garbage job of aviating.

And then again again, I do the same thing when watching videos of boats go slamming out of Haulover Inlet down in Miami, and, yes, youtube videos of idjits stuffing their boats into waves they don't belong getting near is a thing, especially when idiots take lake boats like bowriders out into 3-4 foot seas, which means the inlet is running about 5-8.  

This is a bowrider style boat.
See that droop nose?  That's for calm water boating only.
Take one of those babies out into real water and you'll get real water over the nose.
And if there are people in the front area (the bowrider portion) they'll get drowned,
washed out, or break their bum when the boat comes down hard off a wave.

So.  What weird body motions do you do when watching sports or things occur?  Do you phantom feel pain when someone gets their fingers too close to a blade in a cooking show or doing woodwork?

Elucidate us.  Please.  Below, in the comments.  Don't make me feel even weirder than I am...


  1. Good thing you don't watch barrel racing! Of course, they'll never put THAT in the Olympics since it started as an American sport...

    1. Ah... I do watch barrel racing when I can find it. That's a fun sport and crazy horsework.

      The way things are going at the Olympics, the next round of games added will be obscure Chinese ones.

    2. So do you bang your knees on a table when the riders hit the barrels???

  2. Beans, I do not know that it qualifies as a weird body motion, but I do completely tense up and my feet and hands sweat when I see videos of rock climbing, especially free form (honestly, my hands are sweating now as I type this). Watching that sort of thing makes me incredibly nervous - and it is not that I have a particular of heights (unsteady ladders yes, heights no). Perhaps it is just the level of risk involved.

    Thanks for the clarification of HEMA versus SCA. Maybe you know - for those rather epic Viking battles that seem to pop up in feeds from Europe, are those HEMA or some other organization? They sure seem like they would be fun to watch.

    1. Rock climbing? Can't watch it as it gets my head all woogly as I have way too much imagination and vertigo and that combination sucks. Plus, well, rock climbing.... nope.

      The reenactors who do Viking battles... there are two types of 'historical battle reenactors.' One is where they touch stab (only contact and you'd better call it) and push-cut (where you swing lightly, then when contact is made, push into the cut.) Those guys are the ones you mostly see in Western Europe doing everything from Roman vs Barbarian to the Battle of Hastings (every 10 years) to English Civil War and 30 Years war and 100 Years War and War of the Roses and even Napoleonic and the Scottish Rebellion in 1745.

      Then there are the crazy Russians and Poles and other Eastern Europeans who are more like SCA fighters except they use blunted steel weapons and someone occasionally dies because they really hit hard with rebated blades (the edges aren't sharp)(note - Rebated blades are a real historical thingy. Take a real European blade, which is far superior to any other nation because it's basically made of homogenous steel with a tool-steel edge, and cut or whack off the sharp edge, leaving a flattened tool-steel edge backed by softer homogenous steel. That edge cut off? That's worth a lot of money, so it's your rebate.)

      Actual HEMA people tend to compete in single or team competitions and have really shirty shield work, often using little center-grip shields more like bucklers (which are a small center-grip shield used to punch and block and stuff) rather than more full-sized shields that are cross-strapped (wherein there's a strap for one's hand and a strap for one's elbow) and it shows in their shirty shield work.

      SCA fighters tend to have much better defensive fighting because, well, as I said, rules are there to keep one's shield from impacting the other person's body, so no gacking the neck with the edge of the shield, no whacking the opponent's knees or breaking their feet with the shield edge (a really offensive shield technique) or bashing the body with the edge or the flat of the shield. You can bash the other fighter's shield, you can hook the other shield, press the other shield and do the same with the opponent's weapon (bash, hook, press, foul.)

      Most HEMA fighters tend to stick their shields out and try to obscure the opponent's face, and also bash with the edge of it. Me? I'd whack the HEMA fighter's arm so hard you'd hear bones crack (which is supposedly allowable in HEMA). Or better yet, whack his armpit because the big dummy just exposed it. Or use my shield to jack his shield-arm up and body slam him and whack his damn legs hard because he's now not protecting his legs, thighs, chest because his shied is now above his head. Idjit.

      Shields belong between you and the enemy's weapon. Until you're in almost body contact range. Then you should use your shield to protect your body (that's why they call it a SHIELD) while you also use it to foul his arms and whack the carp out of them.

      HEMA fighters all supposedly study all sorts of historical fight books and such garbage, but usually end up just brawling with weapons and shields in tournaments.

      And even in the HEMA community, there are levels of accuracy and such. Yes, there are some serious students and masters of actual European styles that are really fantastic. But they'd still get swarmed in a real fight because it's all stylized. Like, well, most other martial arts, they all look flashy but often fail in the mob-violence portion. Having beat several 'oriental' martial artists in 'fun' contact fighting.

      The SCA is more... MMAish, but with rules that really protect against mass stupidity. Still no deaths while fighting, other than a heart attack or two.

    2. Thanks Beans, very interesting. The ones I am thinking of show up on Viking themed groups and sites, so pretty certain it is the Russians and Poles.

      In Iai, we will train with a bokuto (wooden sword - but do not kid yourself, a hit with that is just as real as an actual metal weapon. It can cut too. Ask me how I know...) or an iaito, which is a blade with no edge (keeping in mind, of course, almost all Japanese swords are single edged with the exception of some tanto) - most iaito are alloy or steel (steel are real manufactured ex-Japan. A Japanese steel iaito is very expensive and would be difficult to take back to Japan after it left the country). We do have paired techniques - kumitachi - but the attacker and defender roles are both known and in some ways, choreographed (largely to teach timing and distance). Bokuto may be "no touch" or impact, iaito are almost always "no touch".

      Once or twice I have performed kumitachi with my Sensei using Shinken ("True Sword", or sword with an edge). These are of course modern reproductions. We perform slowly and "no-touch" - but he has almost 20 years of training in Iai and I 12. I would worry about doing it with individuals of less than high level.

  3. I can't watch head injuries on youtube. If someone even looks like they are gonna hit their head, I flinch and close my eyes. Had a TBI last year. I can't handle even the possibility of seeing one happen.


    1. Yep. Head injuries suck. Have had a few myself. All while not wearing protective gear. One was while playing a medieval version of rugby, but with a cabbage - game's over when the cabbage is no longer a cabbage. Was 3 hours from home, got in the car and two hours later I could hear all the beats of the music. Stupid me. Another one was slipping on wet moldy decking and whacking the knoggin. Not fun at all. If I was only wearing my helmet with padding...

  4. My sphincter puckers whenever anyone gets too close to a precipice.
    It doesn’t matter what the circumstance are.
    I find myself wanting to scramble as far away as possible.

    1. Yup. Precipices. Windows of tall buildings from the inside. Roofs of tall buildings. Mountains. Cliffs. Open glass elevators (curses be upon him who thought that was a good idea) and balconies on buildings taller than 2 stories. Like those hotels with glass elevators and the 'hallways' that are exposed to a central atrium.

      Nope. I don't do above flat.

    2. (Don McCollor)...I must have developed an immunity somewhere before. My first (and only) parachute "jump" (static line, not tandem). Spray pilot took his Cessna up smoother than any other plane I ever flew on. Instructor "Sit in the jump door, foot on the step" as he pointed out where to (try to) land. "Now slide out and hang from the wing strut" (In the right attitude for release, committed now, they won't let you back in the aircraft [amazingly, the 70 knot windblast does not blow you back far]). "Go!" Amazing how the aircraft disappears ahead and above you, and how beautiful a sunset is with nothing around you...

  5. If I'm watching auto racing or air combat, I tend to bob-and-weave around. My Dad used to "air box" when we'd all watch the Gillette Friday Night Fights.

  6. Involuntary hugh-jump moves when I watch that. I've never done it myself, except for 6th grade PE to introduce us to it for 7th grade track team recruitment, but I can't help lifting my legs and twisting my body.


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Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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