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| Why yes, I believe I will ... (Source) |
Don't bother regaling me in the comments with "What this means." Truly, I know, I'm a big boy, been there, done that.
And I ain't skeered. It is what it is and, to quote the Arabs - إن شاء الله
(Google Translate can grok that for you.)
Watched Master and Commander: Far Side of the World again over the weekend. That film still sends shivers up me spine. (Though it shivers me timbers as well, if you get what I mean.)
So yes, holding fast and sea shanties aside ...
Arrived at the medical facility Tuesday morning at 0730 as directed. Got all checked in and the like, cleared for action and ...
Waited.
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| (Source) |
Out of town on vacation.
So one of his partners had to fill in, and that took some time. So ...
I waited.
Four and a half hours after arrival I was wheeled in to be probed, er, I mean examined.
First the doctor announced to the team what procedure was to be performed, all answered with "Agreed."
As did I, to the general amusement of the medical personnel involved.
Then the anesthesiologist told me what she was going to do, I believe I nodded my head.
Immediately went to dreamland, very pleasant, very nice, then I awakened in a room full of people in scrubs.
Confusion reigned for a moment until I gathered myself and remembered where I was and why I was there.
Doc told me no driving, no signing legal documents, and I said, "How about standing up? Can I do that? I mean it doesn't seem like I still have that power."
"Wait a few minutes. Want a snack? Maybe a drink?"
One Diet Coke and two (yes two, don't be judgmental) packages of Lorna Doones later, I was feeling much better.
Met up with The Missus Herself, my driver for the day, and off we went. I regaled her with the story of "What took you so long?" as we rolled on home. Gathering some sustenance for consumption in the privacy of my humble abode. She had suggested a restaurant, Mexican to be precise. Though I love Mexican food (and have an iron stomach for such things) I decided that some day I might like Mexican.
But not this day.
So we'll do it again, and soon, but we'll avoid the red fruit punch Gatorade next time.
Let's just say that it scared me.
A lot.
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
ReplyDeleteTo serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
The title reminded me of this.
I like it.
DeleteAfter a colonoscopy, and the report is good, it's like a really good Christmas present. What was wondered is answered and the relief lasts for days.
ReplyDeleteI'm not worried about anything.
DeleteGeeez, four and a half hour wait.....for that......well it was a day off work...... :) My last prep had yellow Gatorade.
ReplyDeleteRed was, interesting.
Delete4 1/2 hours delay? I’d be starvin Marvin for sure.
ReplyDeleteI always request a good breakfast restaurant stop after the butt scope procedure.
Keep spirits up OAFS!
Franknbean
I have a lot of reserve fat, takes me a couple of days to get really hungry. (Though my wife would read that as "a couple of minutes.")
Deletefrom Cletus Valvecore.....English Pronounciation (as a Texan hears it) In shallah - ن شاء الله
ReplyDeleteHaving the right to left script in a left to right world is difficult to navigate when entering a comment. Almost like trying to understand some of our politicians (right to left thinking in a left to right nation).
DeleteCletus
Spot on.
DeleteSome Asian languages go top to bottom, right to left. Talk about different.
DeleteAnd I believe there are old languages (can't remember the term, but it means "as the oxen plow"). They read left to right, then right to left on alternate lines.
DeleteWouldn't surprise me.
DeleteYeah, Mexican food when you're mostly empty (save for some Lorna Doones) might be a bit of a shock to the system! And you don't need a repeat of the day prior! 🤣
ReplyDeleteIndeed!
DeleteSarge - The most surprising thing when I had mine was how quickly I went out. It was literally everyone introducing themselves, agreeing on the procedure, and "zap" - I woke up two hours later. I thought it would be a much more "gentle" procedure.
ReplyDelete4.5 hours. That is crazy. Hopefully someone was the least bit embarrassed.
I should watch M&C again. I need that sort of steely inspiration.
Yup, going under was so fast that I was unaware of it happening.
DeleteThere's something about the fasting being required that makes it MUCH harder than my occasional, voluntary, 24, 48, or 72 hour water fasts. Scheduling, it seems, is much tighter now, and has less "slop" to fill in the errors. (Which would seem to create more problems down the road.) Glad there wasn't anything serious discovered.
ReplyDeleteI have enough excess fat that fasting isn't anything more than an annoyance, a minor one at that.
DeleteBig fan of the regular gatorade myself...I can " see " were the red might be disconcerting
ReplyDeleteAh, you get my drift.
DeleteI had a trouble call on one of our shipping systems up in Boerne. It didn't pull the new data file down, so it had to be manually updated. Short drive, pretty country. They were these long black tubes in all stages of repair, or hanging under a blue light. I asked what they were. Seems this place repaired and repacked the "snakes" for colonoscopies. I looked around shocked. "Those things are thirty feet long! Do you have to push them in until you see daylight again???" "Well, uh, no. They do have to attach to the equipment, and that may be across the room." I felt a huge wave of relief. And everyone thought I was joking...
ReplyDeleteHeh, good one.
Delete(I may have posted on this before) During WW2, some of the work on the proximity fuse was done at John Hopkins University (better known for medicine). To get a radar signal out of a 40 mm (or larger) shell, the nose cone has to be nonmetal. And security was everything. The plexiglass nose cones came in boxes labeled "rectal dilators". Nobody expressed any interest in learning anything more about them.
Delete🤣
DeleteI have to give a "What this means" is that you have to go through the prep again in 6 months. A year and and a half ago when I had my last one, it was no red dyed stuff during the prep; I guess there is a good reason for that.
ReplyDeleteWas not a requirement for this prep. Explicitly said ANY FLAVOR.
DeleteGlad things went well. Every one of those I've had one of the prep instructions is no Red fluids of any shade or thickness. I was able to ascertain the reason and was quite willing to comply. Think I'm about 3 months out from my annual flush. Ahh well...
ReplyDeleteRed wasn't a problem, people keep telling me that, well, everyone except my doctor.
DeleteTechnology is better now.
إن شاء الله
ReplyDeleteThat in translation, "Like mañana without the urgency."
My waiting story:
I arrived the prescribed 90 minutes before my appointment time and checked in (I had a nice go around with check in the since I was supposed to be there at that time it was really my appointment time, not what was written on the appointment sheet). Thence to the lab for my secondary check in . Sat down to wait. Watched others check in. Watched them get called for their procedures. And waited. Went to the lab desk, got the usual excuses. Called the missus to tell her I was still waiting. Waited some more. Watched others come and go. About an hour and a half after my scheduled time, and about 5 minutes before I told them to commit fornication on it, one of the lab nurses noticed me. Asked for whom I was waiting as they had only one person getting something done. "I had an appointment for a colonoscopy today." "What time?" "About an hour ago." "What!? Why didn't you say something!?" "I did. I was told things were running a little late." She muttered something about how scheduling should know better and disappeared for a couple of minutes after telling me to wait. Came back out and was very apologetic, gently took my arm, did I mention that she was extremely photogenic? No? Well, she was Close your mouth and stop drooling gorgeous. I was still somewhat terse and abrupt, not quite rude, to her and apologized, assuring her that it was not her per se, but I had been there for about 4 hours by then and she was the first person to even really glance at me other than at a desk.
I called the missus to tell her I was finally being ushered into the prep room.
Heh, pretty much spot on for that translation for everyday use. (I use it more in its religious sense.)
DeleteWaiting stories, we've all got 'em. All are anger inducing.
When I called SWMBO I asked her to put the slow cooker onto low - I had started a nice pot roast about an hour before we left home. After I got situated in prep it took three people and about an hour to get the line in the back of my hand. I was starting to joke about a bigger needle and going for the femoral artery. Had a good time joking with the procedure team, talking about single malts and other forms of anesthesia. Wheeled into recovery, called the missus, flirted with the nurses, all of whom would turn heads, talked of Viands, victuals, and libations.
DeleteI was fine to walk, but, no, had to be in a wheelchair through the front door. Got "helped" into the passage seat - which did feel strange since I did virtually all the driving. We swapped at the exit and I drove home.
I think I was there about six and a half hours.
Makes for a rather long day.
DeleteBack in my days of fighting, I got lots of guff for only drinking a pink gatorade, strawberry-kiki, I think. Lots of jokes about it being effeminate and 'real men' drink the dark shocky flavors. And then they were surprised when I was able to give a cogent answer, which was twofold. My fighting surcoat took lots of time to make, and it had white on it, so I didn't want to stain it. Plus it was much less volatile looking if I drank too quickly and puked (because nobody wants to see bright red or dark red in one's puke, and the aforementioned staining thing.) Reason 3, of course, was that it tasted better than most other 'rades.
ReplyDeleteAnd with a colonoscopy, not having reds or dark reds shoot through your system at light speeds during and after the colon-prep is a good thing.
Hated my colonoscopy prep. Already having IBS, the calcium citrate just made things... sporty, very sporty. And the after effects lasted for days.
Bleh.
Oh, well, it is what it is.
Glad everything came out okay.
Again, red was NOT prohibited. When's the last time you did one? The prep these days is different than it once ten years ago. Not as shocking and violent. Still disgusting, but ...
DeleteNot nearly as painful.
I assume you've heard his other Shanty? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP-7GNoDJ5c
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, the album that's on is a very good one.
DeleteWell, a variety of not so fun med procedures & events are among the many benefits of combat & maturity, .always a virtual "E" Ticket...or something.
ReplyDeleteWith respect to pre & post procedure intake instructions.I believe your Doctors & med techs are significantly more liberal than mine
Anyway, all is good & its in the rear view mirror for now so head up legs driving & keep moving forward.
Moving forward, aye!
Delete8 March,
ReplyDeleteany delay,
well that won't work
It's a bit over 3 miles.
I can make it home on a candy bar and a coke uphill in sleet and snow.
maybe 2 cokes and another candy bar
DeleteHMS#1 - Just like walking to school!
DeleteHMS#2 - Need that reserve fuel, just in case.
DeleteFirst time I did that, my first meal was at Redbones BBQ in Somerville. By the time I finished eating, the entire restaurant staff was surrounding and staring at me. I didn't realize until later that the plate I'd ordered wasn't usually able to be ingested in a single meal. I thought it was just because of how ugly I was.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣
Delete