Ok, Ok, Officially...I got nuttin'
Been kinda a crappy week... literally. Septic problems at the Guest Houses. Folks, when the sign says "We're on a delicate septic system, please flush ONLY the toilet paper we provide and avoid dumping bacon grease down the drain" the translation means "flush ONLY the toilet paper we provide and avoid dumping bacon grease down the drain". Any further translation will result in "Bad" words being used.
Paid a fairly significant amount of cash to have a plumber show me how to drain the drain field pipes. Gonna pay an even more significant amount to have them come back and trench the drain field to find where the clogged pipe is and then fix that.
Guess who's gonna pay for that?
Nope, not me. Future Guests are. Wish I could thank that person, in person!
So...In order to get my usual happy-go-lucky me persona back, I spent some time going through our Family's Dad Joke Thread. The Family has been trading Dad Jokes for several years. Gotta bunch of yukster's in that crowd, I do. But...It's good for a laugh so that will be the subject today.
Hope you enjoy!
For the Mathematicians out there.
For those tight fisted ones out there.
For those of you "Well Dressed" guys out there.
Something for those of you "older" guys to consider doing the next time you visit "That!" doctor. I'm going to.
Speaking of Telemarketers.
For those of you High School Football stars out there.
For the Plumbers out there. (And those of you who wish you were plumbers so you could get one too.)
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| My septic guy doesn't have one...yet. It may be my Christmas present to him this year. |
For the Star Trek Fans out there. (A three-fer)
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| If you don't get it, you're not a Star Trek Fan. Skip to the next section. |
For the Computer Geeks out there. (You know who I'm talking about, doncha?)
For the younger readers out there.
For the "Chefs" in the group.
For the Californian's out there.
For the Texan's out there (You know this is true, doncha') Read ALL of it.
This probably won't apply to ANYONE reading this blog, but there are some "Out" there and it fits them to a "T".
For those of you in the North East, beware.
Thanksgiving is coming soon. Think I'm going to try this Turkey Recipe.
Yes, Beans, I'll make sure Mrs. J doesn't have the carving knife in her hands when I bring it to the table.
Speaking of wives. Important Safety Tip.
Finally, a "Thinking" man's coffee cup.
Not really a Pun or a play on words, rather....WORD!
There...I feel much better now.
Now that I got that off my chest, a little mellow music to calm the savage beast.
For those checking up, LJD is down to 3.5 liters of supplemental O2 needed to breathe. The ventilator has been removed and her lungs are pulling that O2 level on her own, no mechanical assistance. Was at 4 liters last week. That measurement is one of the key ones for "Going Home". Zero, AKA breathing on her own, is the goal. NICU staff is VERY happy. I understand little of what they try to explain other than "She's doing Good!". That's good enough for me.
Peace out, All Y'all! I promise I'll be in a better mood next Monday.
Continued good news on LJD, thanks for the update. Especially like the outdoor seatbelt, guess I shouldn't have been surprised at the numbers exhibiting that type of driver behavior.
ReplyDeleteNylon,
DeleteThanks. Every day in every way...
There were lots of those drivers down here also. There are also an lot of folks still wearing masks around here. Strangely, I don't recognize many of them, being a smallish town, I should at least recognize them if not know them. Then again, there does seem to be a much larger incidence of License Plates that don't say Texas on the top, but are from some State out west.
Funny that!
"Clamp your hams ..."
ReplyDeleteLove it!
Sarge,
DeleteTook me a second when I came across that one. Then it hit me upside my head and knew where it had to go in the post.
Thank you for the update Juvat.
ReplyDeleteSeptic systems were a big thing when we traveled to Costa Rica last year. A number of the places - reasonable ones, not dives - were very specific that used TP was not to be flushed down the septic but otherwise "disposed of" to prevent clogging. Given the state of the modern world, the fact that folks cannot read the most basic of instructions is not a surprise.
THBB,
DeleteMy pleasure. Reading through the entire Dad Joke thread was cleansing for the soul (and took quite a while).
Minor disagreement on your last sentence. I think they CAN read the instructions, but believe those instructions don't apply to them as THEY are important people, not mere peasants like the rest of the population. Gonna take something serious to discourage that belief I'm afraid. What I'm more afraid of, is that reckoning is coming closer and closer.
Sorry, there's my pissy mood showing through again. Gotta go and replay the Video.
I was just gonna say that!
DeleteLtFuzz,
DeleteGreat minds...
The old outhouse was remarkably tolerant of material fed into it. Even better was (as explained to (city) students on a geology field trip in MT) "See that long handled shovel with the roll of paper on it. Pick your juniper bush - and mind the snakes"...
DeleteDon,
DeleteBeen there, done that. With both your examples. However...(and it's a big one) Pretty sure Mrs. J is no longer that adventuresome. Maybe even positive.
Unless things get WAY worse, of course.
The "mind the snakes" was 'borrowed' from a book by an American actor and wife on an African safari. Later on over sundowners, their Brit guide (imagine the British accent) "Had a lady bit on the bum once on safari. Had the very devil of a time trying to figure out how to get a tourniquet on".
DeleteJuvat, I am sure you are right. Sadly, I come from age where people where more civic minded and followed requests. The adjustment has been hard.
DeleteMy father built an outhouse at The Ranch, mostly because he could. Fully functional even now.
THBB,
DeleteYeah, DIL and I had a discussion of the decrease of Texan's in the state with respect to the increase of Texas residents. In my mind, just because you live here, that doesn't make you a Texan. Your words and actions are the distinguishing factor. That occurred after a little road rage incident on the way into town this afternoon.
Don,
DeleteYes, I would assume putting a tourniquet on under those circumstances would be...problematic. In many ways.
ReplyDeleteThose puns are so old they probably date back to Punic Wars.
Pawel,
DeleteWell Done, Sir! Took me a few minutes.
Pawel, I believe most of the jokes came from the opposing army of the Carthaginians, who were just Roman around looking for them...
DeleteTHBB,
DeleteAn ACTUAL Punic War Dad Joke! Are you a veteran of that conflict or is this just hearsay? ;-)
I have done the bikini on a turkey but I used bacon and salami slices. I have also stuffed a turkey with a cornish hen. When I carved the turkey I announced the turkey was pregnant and pulled out the hen. My father-in-law laughed went into a fit laughter and my mother-in-law was mortified. Mission accomplished.
ReplyDeleteTSquared,
DeleteNot that is hilarious. Think I'm going to add that to this T'Giving's Menu!
What body part did Pinocchio ask the surgeon to add on?
ReplyDeleteA hickory dickory, Doc.
Good news about the littlest one.
Friends of ours have a septic system.
They had to endure a few days of using the five gallon bucket waste collection system when the drains got blocked.
Are incinerating toilets an anti-septic system?
JiP,
DeleteGood one! Thanks
Pretty sure our paying Guests would not be thrilled by that level of roughing it. And...as to the last.
The cabins are wood, the problem children have problems reading simple directions, incinerating means using fire, so...Nope, not going to convert.
Unless that was a pun...In which case...Well played, Sir!
It was a pun and thank you.
DeleteSubtlety is an art form all its own!
DeleteGlad to read the good news. BTW it is a hockey jersey or sweater if your a pure blooded Canadian.
ReplyDeleteGerry,
DeleteSo are we! Being able to hold her without wearing chemical warfare gear will be wonderful.
I have to cross the Canadian River to enter the state from the North. Does that count?
Well, is a grease trap is out of the question? You'd probably have to remove all the E-6's and above manually if you put one after the thundermug.... And those fabric butt wipes they all use now are pretty bad for sepctic too. I figure you just need to make a cesspool. Grandpa had one at his house. The grass was always green around the end of the pipe. We figured out playing in the water there wasn't very much fun. Brown yard trout.... We had one at a farm house we lived in for a year... The garter snakes in the bathtub became old hat.
ReplyDeleteI know about O2 liters/min!!!! That's what makes people pink and warm instead of blue and stiff!!! Excellent news on the little one. Lungs are the last things to develop on babies. That medics can support that little human so early on is a miracle.
STxAR,
DeleteI'll ask about the Grease Trap, We've got a rubberized grease dump bucket on the stove, so really...No Excuse, Sir!
My guess is when we do get it opened up, (this week before our next guests) that the fabric stuff will be the cause. Heck, that stuff can't be good for a regular plumbing system. Just avant garde folks wanting to be better than the rest of us 5417 wipers and screwing things up.
I think the water district might frown on a cesspool. While my nearest neighbors are about a half mile away, depending on the wind....Would like to keep them happy-ish also.
Had an incident with a snake in the barn a couple of weeks ago. Got my heart rate up, it did. The Horse Poop rake worked well on scooping the rascal up and flinging him over the fence into the ranch next door. (It's about 600 acres and the owners don't live on it, so I don't think they'd mind...At least not as much as Mrs J would've.
Yeah, can't say enough good things about the NICU staff. Given a vote, straight to Heaven, no enroute delays would be my recommendation.
I added 100 feet to my septic drain lines last year. It was cleaned first, the pipe was added, and I haven't had a problems since.
ReplyDeleteI think Texas laws require a certain amount of acreage before a cesspool is acceptable.
Jess,
DeleteWell, the septic bubba's are coming out to dig up the drain field on Thursday. Once that's uncovered, we'll have a better idea of the problem and the fix. So...we shall see.
Re: the latter. Wouldn't surprise me. I don't know of anyone that has one around here, but there could be.
Borescope might help find the 'problem'. I had mine shot last year, found out there was root intrusion five feet from the city sewer hookup... sigh... Good luck and yes, grease traps do work! And good news on LJD! NICU folks are a blessing!!!
ReplyDeleteOld NFO,
DeleteThe first round of the septic excursion was to find the end point of the drain field piping. It's 6 rows of PVC about 100 yards each. They found that after a couple of holes were dug. You know this part of Texas, digging holes is easy, RIGHT???? Unfortunately, there wasn't any problem anywhere near that opening (farthest from the cabin). Therefore, we get to go to each end of the 6 rows and dig them up and take a look from there. The Plumber Company apparently has a special digger that "Won't cut the pipe." while it uncovers it. Color me skeptical, but optimistic. Once we find the issue, then we get to fix it. Hence, the reason for reading through the Dad Jokes.
Re: the last. Yes, They are!
The Star Trek humor was great, the septic problems are the...well they are problems no one wants and it's GOOD news about the baby.
ReplyDeleteRob,
DeleteThanks, I liked the Star Trek ones, especially the first. The second was good because of Kirk and Spock's facial expressions. That was good work on the part of whomever screen captured it. The third was almost as good, for the same reason.
Septic problems...agreed.
The Baby, yes, yes indeed.
Such situations you end up with! Love knowing LJD is doing so well!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, Well. We're giving careful consideration to a third guest house on the property. Had the septic guy come out and assess if our capacity was enough for a third. After he stopped laughing...the third time...he laid out the new septic system for the new guest house and said he'd get us a quote.
DeleteSo, we've got that going for us. Thursday, the septic guys are coming out with the back hoe to bring our current guest house septic fully back on line. Good darn thing we're already taking reservations for next March.
Thanks, we are also.