Thursday, March 21, 2019

Say What?

Fair Use
Sometimes we go for days here at The Chant without any comments in the moderation file. Now, the moderation file is where comments on posts older than seven days go to languish until one of two things happens: 1) I say "Oh look, a Chanter commented on a post from a cuppla weeks ago, I'll allow it. or 2) I look at a comment and say "WTF, over... Huh? Bye bye." (Which means it gets deleted.)

Now one way a comment can wind up in moderation is by having a link in it. Blogger is rather inconsistent with that. Regular readers often post an actual link (not just the text version of the URL) and it gets through. Sometimes completely unknown types, typically from countries named India, get through, links and all. Why those guys think that a blog based in New England, with a largely American audience, might need the services of a moving company in Bangalore, India, is beyond me.

A spammer with a Japanese name was fished out of the moderation file the other day, had a link and everything, he/she/it was attempting to sell us something. No, I don't click on those type links, Lord knows where I'd end up. Those (with an actual name attached, not Anonymous, or Unknown) get marked as spam. Which moves them to the spam file. Where I have to go and delete them. Why Blogger makes me do the "Spam Two-Step" I have no idea.

Anyhoo, from time to time I get spam comments that just blow my mind. (Yes, I get the same look as Kevin Hart has in that opening photo. By the way, I find Kevin to be an extremely funny guy.) So as I was pressed for time (a dinner engagement gestern Nacht) I decided to share some of the more recent weird comments I have received (rather than write an actual "have to work at it" post) -

Note that the bit in purple is the name of the post, and the list below is who wrote them. No, Tuna does not get more spam than juvat, Beans, or myself.
  • Labor Day... Meh - I wrote it.
  • Mai-Tais, Mars, and Mahalo - Tuna wrote it.
  • New Kids in the Class! - Tuna wrote it.

I give you, the spambots:

I love it when individuals come together and share ideas. Great site, continue the good work! on Mai-Tais, Mars, and Mahalo

I like the valuable information you provide in your articles. I'll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I am quite sure I will learn plenty of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next! on Labor Day... Meh

Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A fantastic read. I will certainly be back. on Labor Day... Meh

Write more, that's all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what you're talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something informative to read? on New Kids in the Class!

I am not positive the place you're getting your information, however good topic. I needs to spend a while studying much more or understanding more. Thank you for wonderful information I was in search of this info for my mission. on New Kids in the Class!

I won't even try to interpret the point behind those fractured comments. No links, so what could they possibly be trying to sell? Most of the posts that get these weird-ass comments are months, if not years, old. What precisely do these spambots hope to accomplish, unless it's simply to entertain me?

I'd like to say "You can't make this stuff up." But apparently you can. Somewhere out there is a flawed, but nearly comprehensible, English comment generator, which all the spambots use. Almost reminds me of all the fractured English manuals I have seen on all of the many toys I've bought (and had to assemble) for the progeny over the years. All of those manuals were written by some guy in China who when asked, "Does anyone here speak and read English?" (Question asked in some dialect of Chinese, of course.) There was that one guy -

"Why yes, I am speaking of the English. I am fascinated by the topic and will be back for more."

"Okay Chen, you write the manuals. The rest of you - 回到你的頭上,喝咖啡休息時間結束了"

Heh, two can that game play.



32 comments:

  1. Truly of the mind bountifully, finding of this post it is time to do the needful. hah........ :) ( Can't do anymore, it hurts the mind this early in the morning.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha!

      And then I get a bunch more this morning, checked to make sure they were BS. Saw that most were coming in on "Labor Day... Meh," which was posted in 2014, so I went there and turned comments off on that one.

      Reminded me of that Monty Python bit, "Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam... Lovely Spam, wonderful spam!"

      Delete
  2. I particularly enjoyed the Spam, as it is a flavorful production... As to the rest of the wordiness herein: No Comment.

    hehe.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So funny! But hey, Sarge...at least you get comments!
    I only get them from you and juvat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? You post some great photos, I guess folks are just left speechless.

      ;)

      Delete
  4. At least it isn’t like the phone is ringing and interrupting with some offer via recorded message from a spoofed number.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it isn't like that at all. Those spoofed phone numbers are starting to drive me just a little nuts.

      Delete
  5. The moment you hang out your blog shingle, you become a target. Many do not realize just how much crap you have to wade through so that we readers get free ice cream all tied up with a bow. I would not have the patience for that.

    Thanks, Sarge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, but there are days when the stuff is so ridiculous one has to laugh. (It's often the only thing which keeps us sane, the ability to laugh.)

      Free ice cream, it's what I live for...

      Delete
  6. Hey AFSarge;

    It is good that you get all the SPAM, I rarely see any except for the occasional indian "Ringtone" one...LOL

    ReplyDelete
  7. On the Lexicans wordPress automatically traps virtually all of the spam messages into the spam folder, where it is held for a few weeks and then it goes to the trashcan.

    Where is it held for a few weeks and then deleted. All automatically.

    There’s thousands.

    Few weeks ago I went through them and actually found a couple of legitimate posts.

    I guess it is on occasion better to throw the baby out with the bathwater then endure thousands of spam bots

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, Blogger is also pretty good at filtering spam. But the occasional "leaker" gets through.

      Delete
  8. What good words be used when commenting on your expansive pre-paid college fund and car's extended warranty. Ask me how to make $10,000 a month from home.

    Yeah, love those comments. Especially during some real serious political post on a real serious political blog. And you have to wade through all the "My Mom makes.." comments.

    By the way, did you mean to not have a link to the aforementioned 3 pages? If so, you achieved what you wanted.

    And... you ought to collect the month's or quarter's best spam and do a regular series monthly or quarterly, maybe with a Larry Correia level fisking on each. Would be good for your and our blood pressures...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I thought about making those actual links but then thought better of it. I actually went to the "Labor Day... Meh" post and disabled comments on it. Actually had like 7 new "idiot -level" spam comments on it this morning.

      I like that last idea, probably guarantees no new spam for a while. It's like buying a snow thrower, once you have one, you won't need it for the first year.

      Delete
    2. "It's like buying a snow thrower, once you have one, you won't need it for the first year." Either that or move to somewhere where one doesn't need a snow thrower. Ask me how I know.

      Thanks for the post.
      Paul L. Quandt

      Delete
    3. Oh dear, I think I figured that one out for myself!

      As always, you're most welcome, Paul.

      Delete
    4. Or, as drjim found out, no snow, no snow, no snow, OH HOLY FEWMETS!!!!!!!!!!

      And snowblowers are useful for other things besides snow. Helping spread body parts comes to mind.... (p)Antifa might actually freak and run away faster if faced by a wall of old men pushing snow blowers and yard chipper-shredders, backed up by flanking forces of zero-turn mowers and the occasional old-school push-reel mower... Strategically drop some chain-sawers and hedge-trimmer equipped forces (may have to hire mercs at the local Homer Despot or (b)Lowes.. "Hey, Vato, wanna make $20 bucks?"

      Delete
    5. Okay, Blogger, thanks for cutting off the bottom of the comment (no, I did not prematurely publish, thank you.)

      To continue:

      Strategically drop some chain-sawers and hedge-trimmer equipped forces (may have to hire mercs at the local Homer Despot or (b)Lowes.. "Hey, Vato, wanna make $20 bucks?") behind enemy lines, maybe with hockey masks for added effect. Yup. I think that would get their attention next time they try to get frisky...

      Delete
    6. Oh yeah, I went to college in drjim's town. You can be up to your arse in the white stuff while 50 miles away they're playing golf. This isn't up in the mountains either.

      After two feet of snow, then a week later it's 70°!

      Delete
  9. Not sure why those last few lines kicked my gigglebox so hard, but I could perfectly visualize that scenario. Thanks for the laugh today.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I get them, as well. but they seem to hit mostly my old USN blog than my news & snark blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, go figure. Not sure what they're trying to accomplish.

      Delete
  11. I gave in and no linger allow comments from Anonymous. It was explained to me or proposed to me, that the more timmes a link is displayed as in a comment, even if it is not hit, it strengthens its position in searches...maybe...like you these other comments I have no idea what they are accomplishing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the link actually needs to be displayed right? That's why every comment here goes into moderation on posts older than 7 days. If the spambots get too thick on an old post, then I turn off commenting for that post.

      I've heard that link count story too, seems plausible, though annoying.

      Delete
  12. Spam on my post about a trip to Hawaii? That's so fitting, seeing how Spam is quite the delicacy out there! I don't quite understand the spambots. To what purpose? Some hacker thing?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they can get visibility on a post, they get paid, or something. It all sounds so unlikely.

      Spam is a delicacy in my abode as well. Fried in egg batter, with rice, and kimchi...

      Yummy!

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

NOTE: Comments on posts over 5 days old go into moderation, automatically.