Byzantine Cataphracts (Source) |
No, no, no. I am not getting a cataphract removed from my left eye, it's a...
Oh, okay, I misheard. So when did you go to Egypt?
Egypt? Never, why would...
Well, the Nile River had six cataracts, which one did you hurt your eye in?
Third Cataract of the Nile (Source) |
Well, if it ain't cataphracts or cataracts then it must be...
Wait, it is the latter...
...it's gotta be a catapult that hurt your eye, right? I know you went to Italy a few years ago, didn't know you got hit by a catapult. You should have had that looked at right away. Those Romans were nasty...
Roman Catapult (Source) |
No, no, no. Not a catapult, a cataract, ya know when the lens in your eye gets all cloudy and has to be replaced with an artificial one?
Ah. Oh, now I get it, never mind...
Yup, by the time some of you read this I will be recovering from having cataract surgery in my oculus sinister, ya know, my "nasty eye." (Sarge, I think sinister in this context means left. Are ya sure you weren't hit in the head with a catapult?)
Nope, left eye is correct, that's Latin dontcha know?
Anyhoo, surgery was originally scheduled for 1330 hours. Had a call late on Wednesday wondering if I could come in at 0800? Well, of course I can. Rather than suffer through a morning with no coffee (no food or beverage six hours prior) I can get up, head in and "get 'er done." (Wow, I sure hope the surgeon isn't Larry the Cable Guy.)
Wish me Hals- und Beinbruch, I'm off to "see" the wizard...
After action report (AAR) to follow.
(Oh yeah, that is a typo in the title, should've said "Surgery, Eye!")
What do you get if you catapult a cataphract over a cataract?
ReplyDeleteA wet horse.
(Good luck with the eye-stabbing and the post-stabbing. My day job involves working on research studies designed to help make that process better, so, maybe something I did might help?)
Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you and the surgeon!
ReplyDeleteWell, you are probably out like a light right now. It's 0700 Elvis Daylight time as I type this. I'm praying you come through fine and dandy. Maybe they can put in a Terminator light in that eye. Now THAT would be cool.....
ReplyDeleteOh man, you could get a glass eye to keep in your pocket. Then whip it out and show the unsuspecting..... "They told me to hang on to it... Said they could snap it back in next week..."
Or maybe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvCm0SITe4U
A cataract? You mean the American automobile line that includes the Escalade?
ReplyDeletea bear. Good one.
Good wishes to you.
I am sure all will be well!! Keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteOne cloudy eye and one smashed finger. Your blogging dedication is eye watering. Good ruck with your cataract.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck in your procedure, Sarge. My ophthalmologist is using that word fairly regularly when I go to visit him, so I guess my time is coming. Spent yesterday at the hospital keeping company with my Winemaker friend as his wife had some fairly serious surgery. The two previous lumpectomies didn't seem to get it all. It went well and the surgeons are optimistic. Watched the Mueller hearings on Fox with the volume muted. His mannerisms were very enlightening, IMHO.
ReplyDeleteCould have been worse, could have been... the View!!!
DeleteAmazing that Mueller didn't know anything about his job or what was in the report or what color the sky was or his shoe size or anything. Almost like there was a Clinton assassin waiting for him to slip up and Arkancide him (like what almost happened to Jeffrey Epstein, suicide attempt my derriere.)
You'll do good, Sarge...You're like a cork when you get pulled under.
ReplyDeleteHad this done some years ago, made a yuge difference in visual acuity. Sadly, said acuity is diminishing over time. Getting older is not for the faint of heart, but when you consider the alternative...
ReplyDeleteGood luck, here's hoping for good results.
You're not getting cataphract surgery, but you are getting a solid Harold.
ReplyDeleteHarold Godwinson, semi-legal King of England, watched an arrow grow bigger at the Battle of Hastings, and then it hit him. Though we're not sure which eye, but death by splinter is sinister, so...
Rots of ruck. Attack of the killer Mucus, episode 2019, seems to be un-mucusing, so I will soon be able to be awake for longer than an hour or so. Which means I can actually post a post, rather than comment in the comments.
It is done. Stung just a bit but I'm good. See you tomorrow for the AAR. (Heh, see what I did there? And again...)
ReplyDeleteGet well. follow instructions! All will be well and better. Yup, that's what happened to me. Great use of a couple of hours of my time.
ReplyDeleteOooo, early morning surgeries are best for shore. Speaking of which....I am just down the road in Old Saybrook.
ReplyDeleteIt is much nicer now that the wicked heat and humidity have moved on out. Saturday and Sunday were less than fun, even though I was drinking water like crazy and we had every fan in the house on 3 in each bed room x 5 bedrooms plus in the kitchen and the dining room, and the ceiling fans on the enclosed porch. But 9 adults (2 of whom are elderly and require extra time and equipment), and 1 bathroom does test family ties for sure. But the low tides have wonderful, so the sand bars have been out, and I have been doing LOTS of "bar walks", the food plentiful and much talking and laughing have ensued. Bonus was that my son and his wife brought his new son down for a visit, and much holding of the latest edition to the clan was had by all. The kid is a cuddlier, which his Great Uncle took full advantage of. And any Dad who can put a hot, cranky baby to sleep is a true treasure in MY book. So the vacation is going swimmingly. And I have only had to say on a couple of occasions, "ya might want to rethink this, as just because I do travel with a first aid kit, doesn't mean I want to have to use it"...party pooper I am.
Anyhoo, what I was trying to say before my fingers ran away with me is: Do the drops Sir, and all should be well. And your finger should be progressing too, hopefully. You are granted medical leave exemption from blogging for the next week if needed, the out of work note is in the mail. :)
I'm jealous, Suz, (about the grandchild). Woke up to a clear yet toasty 56° this morning. Had to go for a walk. Was beautiful.
DeleteWas this morning not amazing!!?!?!? 60's down south of you sir. It was joyous. If this is glowbull warming, then proceed apace!
DeleteI am pleased everything went well!
ReplyDeleteThanks to all. I love youse guys.
ReplyDeleteNo, really.
Late again. Happy I am to read that things went well with your eye. All my best thoughts going your way.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post.
Paul L. Quandt