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Loss of a family member will do that. While it would be nice for the world to just stop and leave you alone while you deal with things, that ain't the way it works.
I highly doubt anyone who visits here regularly will question that "family member" part of the sentence in the preceding paragraph. I know that some folks don't view it that way. To them it was "just a cat" or "just a dog," to my way of thinking there is no "just a ..." attached to any living thing. Buck once said I'm make a good Buddhist. I don't know about that, but a reverence for all living things, yes, even the ones I eat, is part and parcel of who I am.
Nearly twenty years is an awfully long time to spend with someone, or some being if you prefer, and to lose that is profound and somewhat shattering. To say the least.
I am still functioning though, just needed some time away from the keyboard, away from one of my responsibilities in this here existence. I took some time off from work as well. Ya know, the paying job. While blogging is work (those who know, know), it's not unpleasant. The paying job is also not unpleasant but the hours can be. (I don't like getting up early. While I like mornings, they're best viewed from the perspective of one's bed or one's kitchen. NOT whilst commuting to work,)
I do appreciate all the kind words received over the last cuppla, both here and in real life. Those keeping score will know that we lost Anya a week ago today. And a hard day that was. While I won't go into any detail, the pain is too fresh, I will say this, she didn't go easy. She was a fighter. She was until her last breath.
But it's time to get back at it, so to speak.
Not sure if I'm going to ease into it, or head at it full bore, but I feel the need to write.
We'll see how it goes.
You don't have to be Budhhist to have a reverence for life and those creatures around you. Watching a bird in flight, watching deer graze or jump around, things like that have their own special moments.
ReplyDeleteBut there's a line that's crossed when any life becomes family. Because they do become family.
The first two weeks after Liesl left us we were broken. It gets more normal, that's all.
We're here for you.
And a totally cool picture. Something serene about flowering trees. That's something the Japanese really understand.
I'm looking forward to the blossoming of our weeping cherry trees, always gives me peace.
DeleteThanks again Beans, you kept things going here at the Chant.
My background has taught me that family is more choice than genetics. There is nothing wrong with calling your companions family, they can be closer than anyone or thing related by birth.
ReplyDeleteVery true.
DeleteFamily is Family Sarge, two-footed or four-footed. Love doesn't know boundaries.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
DeleteSarge, when we spend that amount of time with anyone, it is hard to deal both with their loss - and their absence. In a way not even true of 95% of our human friends and acquaintances, they are with us far more often and see us in far more of our emotional rawness - I see and spend time with our animals here far more - especially since March of 2020 - than I ever do now with actual humans outside of my immediate family. In a lot of ways, they make for far more rewarding company.
ReplyDeleteWe are good whenever you are ready. The Chanters have done a great job and Beans has done such an amazing job that I now live in fear that the universe will somehow have it out for me the way it seems to have it out for him
("While blogging is work (those who know, know), it's not unpleasant" - truer words have never been written)
I could tell my cat things that I wouldn't dream of telling a human.
DeleteIn some ways, all any of us alive ever has is time, and sharing that is an exceedingly precious gift. The moments we share are a step into eternity. Savor them, share them, and they are returned, with interest. Love you (a you that extends to all who feel) all. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThanks htom, you're a class act.
DeleteLove is love & we all deal with loss as best we can... Hang in there friend...
ReplyDeleteThanks Rob. Hanging in there, it's about all I can do at this point. Getting back to writing helps.
DeleteThose pets are the perfect family member- absolute loyalty, no grudges, never talk back, great to hug, and they are amazing listeners. I get the mourning. My wife mourned our beagle for over a year after she left us too early. Hope you find some comfort in the writing.
ReplyDeleteWriting helps, last week I was unable to think coherently, let alone write.
DeleteI feel for you, Sarge. Just take it one day at a time...
ReplyDelete-Barry
I am. One foot in front of the other, a day at a time.
DeleteYes, a day at a time, Sarge. Time does not seem to ever heal the pain of loss, it only slowly dulls it.
DeleteSpeaking from experience, yeah, time just dulls the pain.
DeleteDon’t worry we’re going nowhere special. If we 1do, we’ll . Take our phones!i
ReplyDeleteHorrible to say, but I wept over our 18 yo schnauzer, more than family weepers. I had just dug grave in the garden. Laid her to rest with her bed toys blankets,toys, and stuff she liked.I took a while for us all to get somewhat settled. Got more cats as counselors. Worked great til they brought their friends around!
They give so much and ask for so little, they give love without reservation or guile.
DeleteMemories to cherish. Friends for support. You and the Missus have them. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThough it is a sad time, we'll get through it, for precisely the reasons you mention.
DeleteThanks Mark.