Thursday, October 4, 2018

Patches? We Don't Need No Stinking Patches!

Will the real Sarge please stand up?
Just a quick post to let you all know that I am alive and well. The procedure I had was a vitrectomy, the doc also patched (pun intended) a couple of small retinal tears (as in rips, not as in cry). I was sedated for the procedure, which means I was completely aware of what was going on, but didn't really care.

I could "see" what the doc was doing inside my eye. Which was bizarre, but it was also...



Think gelatinous things floating around with long thin probes entering...

Sorry, I just grossed myself out. I guess you had to be there, and sedated.

I also recall the doc asking me to stop talking as it was causing me to move. Me moving while he was exploring the inside of my eyeball I quickly realized was a Very Bad Idea. So I just kept my mouth shut and watched all the...

Never mind.

Anyhoo. I don't have to stay face down for three days, I can sleep normally, but only on my right side. Follow up appointment was Wednesday (yesterday for you readers, today as I write this) and the doc was very pleased with the result.

Afterwards we (The Missus Herself and I, not the doc and eye, heh, you had to have "seen" that coming...) celebrated by eating. Much fun. Much gustatory delight.

I won't, however, be returning to work this Friday (tomorrow as you read, day after tomorrow as I write - no, I'm not on any weird drugs, why do you ask?). I have to see the doc next week on Thursday. So I'm in for a bit of impromptu vacation. Not that I mind but I do have stuff I actually wanted to get done at work. Well, I'm sure it will still be there when I get back. (Don't let 'em touch my stuff Dave!)

Also gives me a chance to rest up for Juvat and Mrs. Juvat making land fall here in Little Rhody. Looking forward to that event, first time we'll have met in three dimensional space.

So, I have a nitrogen bubble in my left eye (which is now sans patch, I only need to wear a plastic shield over the eye whilst sleeping) which I can actually see! At first I thought it was some weird side effect but the doc assured me that it was normal. As the nitrogen gas is absorbed into my body, it will gradually unveil my left eye rendering me capable of vision in that eye once again. Right now it's all colors and vague shapes.

So I'm glad I didn't spring for a fancy eye patch. What I'm wearing in the photo above is a bandage covered by a plastic shield, taped to my face. The other guys are all wearing actual eye patches, except Professor Moody, who, you must admit, was a rather odd chap.

Right now my left eye drools and looks like someone stepped on it. I did take a picture but...

It's kinda gross so I ain't sharing it.

Don't know who is posting tomorrow. I might though it's deuced hard trying to type with one eye. The other just seems fascinated by that nitrogen bubble. Oh yeah, I've got this "cool" wristband the doc gave me -


Nitrous oxide? Isn't that also called "laughing gas"? Hhmm, as if I need a gas to laugh. Though I might laugh if someone passes gas...

Topic for another time I suppose.



(Sorry for the fuzziness of that last photo, only one eye, trying to take a picture of one hand using the other, etc., etc.)

58 comments:

  1. Glad the procedure went smoothly and the Doc is pleased, excellent......excellent! (accompanied by Monty Burns finger steepling). Huh.... all six guys have LEFT eye patches.... hmmmm...odd that eh? And like Snake Plisken rumors of your demise were greatly exaggerated... :)

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, the left eye, what's up with that?

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    2. Well, you and Moshe didn't have a choice about which side. (I suppose you could patch both sides in an effort to gain more sympathy, but I wouldn't recommend it.) Oh yeah, and "call me Plissken".

      Glad to hear all went well and you are on the mend. Will be most interested in final AAR.

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    3. I'm looking forward to the final AAR as well. This runny eyeball stuff (due to the many drops and the healing that's going on) is getting old fast!

      Thanks RHT447.

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  2. YEA!! Glad to hear the doc is pleased. And wearing an eye patch, doesn't it give you a whole new appreciation for Big John when he had to wear a patch, ride a horse AND shoot the bad guys?!?! Lol. Yes, I know Hollywood magic and all, but still, there were some camera shots where he was doing all 3 actions...
    Enjoy your enforced vacation and don't exceed your lifting restrictions...work will be there when you are allowed to go back...
    after all, you have to be able to see well in order to drive, never mind see the computer screen. It is a bummer tho' that bodies don't heal as fast as other stuff we get used to...and we will be here as well.

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    1. Thanks Suz. Right now the eye is very ugly looking. Has a rather "stepped on" appearance. Taking three eye drops, one stings like fire, which is probably why it comes with a red cap. Three times a day, no fun time, but hey, healing sometimes isn't pretty.

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  3. I wonder if a helium bubble in your eye would give you the ability to see higher in the spectrum.
    Physics would rule against that, but in a world where a radioactive spider bite gives someone super powers, a super vision helium charged eyeball might be just the thing.

    Glad things are going well.
    If I was awake during the surgery the doctor would have had to say, "Stop shrieking like a little girl! You're frightening the other patients!"

    A fascinating post, and an experience I will hopefully never have.

    To paraphrase, "You're a better man than eye am, Gunga Sarge."

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    1. Helium, there's an interesting thought.

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    2. John, I am that patient. Of course, in my defense, he was trying to shove a plumbing camera (like the utility people use, well, it seemed like it at the time) up a rather delicate portion of my anatomy, and, no, it wasn't a colonoscopy.

      Shrieking I did. Covered the Beans family in much glory that day I did (n't.)

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    3. Beans.
      The endo doc wrapped up the second part of a root canal today. I told her that since I already have a rather high pitched voice, my little girl shrieks could only be heard by dogs.
      She thought I was joking, but I wasn't.
      I read you loud and clear.

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    4. Beans - That sounds like a catastrophically bad idea for a post.

      No, no, no, it's not a challenge. I'm cringing as I type this, things are, well to be frank, shriveling.

      Delete
    5. John - You just had to bring up root canals, dintcha?

      Okay, anybody else with a gory shriek like a little girl, cringe and shrivel worthy stories of a medical nature?

      (FYI, I only shriek like a school girl during earthquakes. I'd deny that but, dammit, there were witnesses.)

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  4. When they shine the light in my eye, I can see the blood vessels... It's weird to say the least. I never lost my kid curiosity and doctors always find that funny for some reason. Your particular ride, tho..... I'll pass if I can. That's the one part of Ultra Violet that I can't watch.

    Rest easy, leave the lifting to someone else, mind the barometric pressure, and we'll be here.... even if you re-run a cool aircraft post!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I have a certain amount of child-like curiosity, gets me in trouble at times.

      Thanks STxAR.

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  5. Nitrous never seemed to do much for me but, I know others who actually sought opportunities to indulge in it.
    Happy to hear the positive report.
    Thanks for sparing the details (Googling vitrectomy has plenty).

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  6. Very glad to hear all went well. and yes, you look a bit raffish!!

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  7. Hey AFSarge;

    Glad to "see" that you are back again, and yes you need the skull and crossbones ...and a fake parrot on the shoulder and you can walk around and go "eye" matey to everyone else, and "eyeball" the latest pillage that your crew brings into the house. Or you can sit down and watch the "empire strikes back" and SEE the "EYEon" cannon defend the rebels against the star destroyer. Yes I will be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitstaff and try the veal.

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  8. I am pleased that everything went according to plan!

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  9. Glad you are on the road to mend. Talking and distracting the doctor while he is poking your eye with needles is not the best idea to try out. I'm glad he told you to be quiet! Are we voting on whom we most admire from today's picture? I'm still mad at Moishe. so I'll go with the Duke.

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    Replies
    1. After the author and proprietor of this blog, of course.

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    2. Yeah, distracting the doctor who's poking around in your eyeball, really bad idea.

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    3. Yeah, the Duke rocked the eye patch. Jeff Bridges was okay, but he was better at being the Dude.

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    4. Yes, Jeff Bridges was better at being the Dude than Snake Plissken because he wasn't ever Snake Plissken, though I did like him in "Starman."

      Kurt Russell, on the other hand, did do better at Snake Plissken than the Dude, because HE was never the Dude.

      I think you have nitrogen poisson-ing, as something is fishy about your memory. Hmm. Interesting side effect, we'll have to keep an eye out for more issues.

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    5. Kurt Russell was also Wyatt Earp.
      And I think that the film "Tombstone" is way up there as one of the best westerns ever.
      Amazing supporting cast and dialog.

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    6. Beans - Jeff Bridges played Rooster Cogburn in the lamentable remake of True Grit, which is where I was going with that.

      "Keep an eye out" - I "see" what you did there.

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    7. "Why Johnny Ringo, you look like someone just walked over your grave..."

      My dentist in Germany was named Holliday. The original was a great uncle or something of his.

      Great movie.

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    8. Well, since your reference pics above have Wayne and Russell but no Bridges, then how could we mere mortals follow the radical twists and turns of your mind?

      As to what "Eye" did there? Eye don't know what you mean. Eye don't see what you're looking at. It's like you blink and suddenly things are different...

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    9. Well played Beans, well played.

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  10. I'm so glad to see you doing so well after all of that!
    You sure have some fun-to-read comments to chirk you up!

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  11. Good your humor helps with your recovery and good news about the procedure.

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  12. Don't do any SCUBA diving for a while, hope everything continues to go well, it will be nice being to see again soon.

    Thank you for not showing the picture, the description alone had me doing a blinky thing for several minutes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While the bubble is interesting, it's really blurry.

      Can't go up in an airplane either. Oh well, this too will pass.

      Delete
  13. Glad to see you came through it without a scratch. Best kind of surgery. Mighty distinguished company you're in. I'm trying to think of any other one eyed pirates I know but I think you covered half of them, at least.
    Remember, Guinness aint just for strength. It has remarkable healing powers too.

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  14. As long as you don't do any nitric oxide either. Had some idiots in the local area steal a container of nitric thinking it was nitrous oxide. Seems the 'in' thing at the time was to steal a cylinder of Nitrous and take it to a house and crack the cylinder and let everyone party along with other mind-altering substances. You can get away with that with Nitrous.

    Nitric will destroy your lung linings and kill you in 24 hours.

    Better yet, don't do anything like fly, scuba dive, get stuck in a hyperbaric chamber, get shrunk down to microscopic size and be inserted in sumdood's body, or anything else fun.

    At least the doctor didn't restrict your intake of Carbon Dioxide, did he?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Now you see, that right there is the Darwin Principle at work. Give morons enough time and they'll figure out a way to off themselves.

      Stupid people and chemistry are a bad, bad mix.

      I can have all the carbon dioxide I want.

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  15. Happy I am to read that your road to recovery continues apace. You are MUCH braver than I. There is no way that anyone would be able to bring sharp objects ( or any other kind ) close to my eye while I was still awake. Keep up the good work.

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Paul, the worsening vision in my left eye and the chance of losing sight in that eye altogether really made it an easy decision. Still and all, I'd rather the issue hadn't arisen at all.

      Man, getting old ain't for sissies, is it?

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    2. "Man, getting old ain't for sissies, is it?"

      Roger that!

      Paul

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  16. Let me add my “Thank the Lord” to the consensus. I’m with PLQ on the being awake thing. Don’t think I could stay still.

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    1. It's the sedative, makes you go all "honey badger" on the situation. That's my theory and I'm sticking with it...

      Thanks Juvat.

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  17. I've got you covered for tomorrow. That's your blog covered, not your gooey eyeball.

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    Replies
    1. I saw that, great topic by the way.

      And yes, my eyeball is all gooey and messy right now. Yuck.

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    2. Well, it's still better than a sharp stick in the eye...

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  18. we need to add https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrian_Carton_de_Wiart to the rogues gallery
    oh and there is tv tropes page dedicated to Eyepatch of Power
    https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EyepatchOfPower

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    1. The general was definitely a bad ass! (And again, the LEFT eye.)

      As to the TV tropes thing, I'd forgotten all about Odin. I need ravens, that would freak people out at work!

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  19. Good to hear the procedure went well, and the Doctor is happy.

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  20. A couple of days late, Sarge, but it just now 'clicked' in my head....Don't you know you shouldn't wear a white eye patch after Labor Day? Black is de rigueur.
    I feel your pain, to a (much, much) lesser degree. Woke up this AM to my right eye swollen almost shut, with a pouch below it holding a lot of liquid. I'll give it a day or two to see what happens. I don't care for doctors, and you know what they say about "those mountaineers with hairy ears"!
    --Tennessee Budd

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    1. Oh man! Major fashion faux pas!

      You should get that looked at Tennessee, having only one eye plays Hell with one's depth perception, as in "have none."

      I'm learning that!

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)