Not Feeling It Today...

There are things in life that you wish you could forget. Non-trivial things, things involving death and loss.

As time goes by, it gets a little easier, even though a part of you is gone, never to be recovered.

But the underlying pain never goes away...

It seems a strange irony that the egress system which would save your life in an emergency could snatch it away from you based on something so intangible as surface winds. But just imagine being dragged behind a pickup truck at 25-35 miles per hour while grappling with your harness release and you’ll get some sense of our trepidation. The odds of losing an engine on a gusty day are no better or worse than on any other day. The odds of survival, given the conditions, are much reduced. And there would be other days to fly.

We all of us volunteered for this business, but all of us want a chance, should some bad thing arise, especially in a peacetime training environment: You’ll probably never have to eject. But if you have a bad day and are forced to, you’d a whole lot rather have an even chance to explain why you did so later.

Not long after we’d made our decision the snow was falling sideways and the wind howled through every nook and cranny, piercing though our flight suits and forcing us to shoulder through the gusts. I made my way to the O’Club for a pint of Guinness (for strength) followed by a shot of Jameson’s (for courage). Grateful for the day I’d had. 

Looking forward to the next.

From WX CNX, By lex, on March 1st, 2012

For whatever reason, that post was up on The Lexicans yesterday, the 28th of May. It's a place I visit nearly every day. Most of the posts I've read before, it's a place where we remember Carroll "Lex" LeFon. My friend, my blogging mentor. This blog wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Lex.

Yes, I read that post the day it was published, seven years ago. In what came to pass, I had forgotten about it. Until yesterday.

As I started the blog as a tribute to Lex, I rather wish it had never come to pass. For if Lex was still alive, I would be spending my time reading his stuff, not writing my own. But you never know, another friend of mine, LB Johnson, was encouraged to write by Lex. Her latest book (which I will review when I'm done reading it) is dedicated to him.

So you never know.

As for the reason I'm not feeling particularly "bloggy" today, well that snippet above from WX CNX (which is aviation speak for a weather cancellation) was written five days before Lex took off on his final mission.

All the elements of what happened that day in the high desert around NAS Fallon in Nevada was foreshadowed in that post.

Hit me square in the gut it did.

That is all.