Saturday, November 28, 2015

Usually the top web sites are full of junks. (Er, what?)

PT Boat Spam
A while back I had emails from a few concerned readers, seems they wanted to post comments but weren't real clear on the best way to do so. Rather than write a long (potentially boring) post describing the many ways to create an account, then use that account to post comments, I decided to throw the doors of the blog open to the world.

So far that has not proven catastrophic. I have yet to receive comments promising me larger parts of my anatomy (thank you I am content with my parts), no doubt that will happen soon enough. One of the reasons I shut off Any Mouse comments a while back was that I was receiving really bizarre promos and just plain disturbing crap as comments. Yup, the spam-bots ruined it for everyone.

But in due time, I decided to throw the doors open again. Oddly enough, nothing disturbing has landed in the comments (yet, knock on wood) but I get strange comments from obviously non-English speaking spam-bots on old posts. Posts which will not get revisited (unless it's by a spam-bot). The only reason I noticed these is that all comments show up in my email box. (Those of you who might have left an insulting or otherwise not-intended-to-be-seen comment must know that I still get to see those comments. Once "Publish" is hit, all bets are off. Teh Interwebz is forever. Sort of.)

Anyhoo, I found the following samples somewhat humorous...
Usually the top web sites are full of junks. Perhaps it is time to use other search engine.Thank you for the useful info! I wouldnt have discovered this by myself.You made an amazing post. Put up more content soon! I will bookmark your blog. I want to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blogpost. I am hoping the same best blog post from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to start my own blog now. Truly the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a fine example of it.When I click on your feed it seems to be a ton of garbage, is the malfunction on my reader.I think that is an exciting point, it made me think a bit. Thank you for sparking my thinking cap. Sometimes I get so much in a rut that I just sense like a record.
Ya know, I couldn't agree more...
  • I wouldnt have discovered this by myself.
No, I'm sure you wouldn't have. Note that - "wouldn't" - not "wouldnt." And seriously, you could have theoretically discovered this blog all by yourself, eventually. It's the old "fill a room full of monkeys and typewriters and eventually they will produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Or the Affordable Health Care Act. That's known, BTW, as the Infinite Monkey Theorem*. According to Wikipedia, the sum of all human knowledge typed up by people with no agenda whatsoever. Or so they claim.
  • I am hoping the same best blog post from you in the future as well.
Well, that makes two of us. I have to say though, it would be tough to write a great post in the past. Though you seem to have no problem commenting on old posts, in the past as it were, thinking that somehow your poorly produced pitch for a piss poor product will somehow get promulgated to the proletariat. Or the plebes. Pick your own non-alliterative (or alliterative) synonym for the downtrodden and under-informed.

Now these next few lines just confused me.
  • In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to start my own blog now.
  • Truly the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly.
  • Your write up is a fine example of it.
  • When I click on your feed it seems to be a ton of garbage, is the malfunction on my reader.
Um, what?

I inspired you to start your own blog?

Hate to tell you, but blogging seems to be on the downturn, not the upswing.

Seriously, when you click on my feed "it seems to be a ton of garbage"? If you're trying to get me to click through to a link on a server somewhere in the former Soviet Union, insulting me is not the way to do it. Trying to cover it up with a "malfunction on my reader" is just confusing.

But some days, yeah, it could be a ton of garbage. But hey, it ends on a high note...
  • Thank you for sparking my thinking cap. Sometimes I get so much in a rut that I just sense like a record.
I'm glad I was able to "spark your thinking cap." I too sometimes get in a rut, but I have never had the experience of sensing like a record. Whatever that means...

Another I found amusing, in an auto-generated translated random text from Serbo-Croatian to English kind of way was this...
  • Im so interested in your article. Could you mind if I used a few of your ideas for my weblog? Ill obviously mention you as the authentic source and set up a hyperlink pointing back to your blog. Many thanks.I do agree with all the ideas you have presented in your post. Theyre very convincing and will certainly work. Still, the posts are very short for newbies. Could you please extend them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.This blog has a lot of extremely helpful info on it! Cheers for informing me.e. Who knows maybe it really is just my cell phone. Great post by the way.Great stuff.Id like to recommend checking out a lot around the idea of french fries. What do you think.These kind of post are always inspiring and I prefer to read quality content.
What can I say? I will certainly do that French fries thing. I like French fries.

Apparently contractions are a very hit or miss kind of thing for a spam-bot. Yes, I'm sure it's just your cell phone.

A couple that I pulled out of The Lexicans spam filter were very interesting. In a garbled, nonsensical, yet whimsical kind of way.
  • I simply desired to make a quick comment in order to express gratitude for your requirements for people wonderful pointers you are posting at this site. Time consuming internet investigation has towards the end for the day been rewarded with high-quality strategies to present to my guests. I would claim that many of us readers are really endowed to happen in an incredible network with biggest reason so many marvellous those with useful hints. Personally i think quite privileged to have used your webpages and check toward really more fabulous minutes reading here. Thank you for many things.
Yes, that one made my head hurt.

Here's my favorite -
  • Its such as you learn my thoughts! You seem to grasp a lot approximately this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something. I believe that you simply can do with a few % to pressure the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I will certainly be back.
Well yes, that was my intent to "pressure the message home." Again, I don't see anything from you to help me do that. Then again, I am not going to click on a link from a person with the moniker, xvideos. While I act it at times, I'm not really an adolescent.

Ah spam, it can be interesting and annoying all at the same time. I have been going back to those old posts which seem to be so favored of spam-bots and turning off the comments. (A skill I just figured out on Friday.)

But it's like killing cockroaches. Smoke them out in one post, they show up in another.

Those apocalyptic visions where naught remains on earth but cockroaches? Nope, the spam-bots will be there too, posting bizarre comments from some subterranean server in the hopes that someone, somewhere, will click on that link from Mr xvideos.

Sigh...



*The Infinite Monkey Theorem refers to the former thing, not the latter. The latter is known as The Infinite Politician Theorem. Oh, wait a minute. I can't see the difference either...

12 comments:

  1. Now I'm jealous. i only get about three or four a month.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Count yourself lucky, they get tiresome after a while.

      Delete
  2. Making like a monkey at the typewriter here trying to comment. Is it me, or is it just me?

    Just read a treatise on spam penned by an Englischer living in Denmark. He blames the Finns; claims that the perfect milieu for spam production is that heavenly Finnish admixture of darkness, isolated stoicism, SSRI's and pure ethanol. That spam appears to come from Russia is an extension/continuation of the winter war.

    Or so the Englischer says.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It might be the Finns. Far too much time on their hands.

      Delete
  3. Youre well seasoned postum has me invigorated to represent my ideas on a blog forming. I would love to be base touching you to how you bested these ideas that you particulate.

    Themks visit me @illfuckupyrcomputer.net

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pretty funny Joe. Nice pics Sarge. Sunrise and Sunset viewed from the American Desert's and Island's of the South Pacific are usually spectacular.

    ReplyDelete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)