The Rise of the Attack Cephalopods

Seriously?

Yup, Squid Anti-Submarine Mortar, it was a thing.

Now lest you think that this was a device for flinging calamari at enemy submarines (also known as "pigboats," wait for it...), nope it was actually just the Brits with their penchant for giving things interesting names. Such as the Directorate of Miscellaneous Weapons Development. If ya can't figure out who will use it or what it will be used against or even if you really need it, then assign the project to the DMWD. (No doubt where the LCS got its start...)

Ordered directly from the drawing board in 1942, under the auspices of the Directorate of Miscellaneous Weapons Development, this weapon was rushed into service in May 1943 on board HMS Ambuscade. The first production unit was installed on HMS Hadleigh Castle; it went on to be installed on 70 frigates and corvettes during the Second World War. The first successful use was by HMS Loch Killin on 31 July 1944, when she sank U333; the system was credited with sinking 17 submarines in 50 attacks. By 1959, 195 Squid installations had been produced. (Source)

So it was actually a fairly effective weapon system. It replaced the earlier "Hedgehog" depth charge projector, which was eventually replaced by the "Limbo" system. (Note the names, where do they get these? Kinda reminds me of Boaty McBoatface, must be that odd British sense of humor. Or would that be humour in this instance?)

Hedgehog Anti-Submarine Projector

Limbo - Anti Submarine Mortar Mark 10

Another thing in the opening photo worthy of note is the sign to the right which states -

DANGER - KEEP OFF

NO RESPONSIBILITY TAKEN FOR

INJURIES INCURRED WHILST

PLAYING ON MORTAR

Yes, heaven forbid that someone should get sued because someone got hurt while playing on a mortar. Some people have no sense at all.

I know these weapon systems are not as cool as an ASCROC, I mean what is, but I thought I'd bring them up for the edification of the readership. Besides which, it led to the catchy title for this post. I mean I could have called it "Release the Kraken," or something. (Why call it that Sarge, I saw that movie what does that have to do with squid? Ah, you see, in Norse mythology the Kraken is more of a squid than that weird looking beastie in Clash of the Titans.)

The Mark 12 Mod 1 Anti-Surface Kraken
That is one big squid!

In other news, I'm still trying to get my head around this comment...

"ASCROCs sinking enema pigboats" - Dear Lord I hope that's a typo! (And yes, whilst searching for that I stumbled upon the attacking squid, a type of cephalopod. I mean come on, you know how my mind works. Or doesn't...)

Oh, one last thing, Frank tracked this down, had to share it. I mean T-Rexs with machine guns, how scary is that? (Not as scary as an enema pigboat, but close.)

Secret WW2 files: Fighting Dinosaurs in the US Army

I had no ideer!

Omens

Well...The New Year is upon us.  Mrs J, ever the intrepid Travel Agent, has put together a "Wine Cruise" for our Winemaker Friends and 45 of their wine club members.  Little J and LJW will be joining us as "helpers" during the two tasting and seminars on our at sea days.

This is going on as we speak.  If Galveston weather complied with the forecast, we will have sailed Saturday afternoon and will be somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico right about now.

I'm not trying to make anyone jealous, because it's going to be a working vacation.  I mean I've got to pour wine during two 1 hour seminars over the course of 9 days.  You feeling my pain yet?

There are also other indications this is going to be a good year.

First cup of coffee the New Year. Not a drop wasted! It's going to be a GREAT year.

I mean really, put the pod in the coffee maker, push the button, turn around and do something else for about 5 minutes.  Remember the coffee, and mutter an AWWW Sugar! (or something) while turning around only to spot a perfect cup of coffee.  That has happened exactly never in my lifetime.  So...Good year.

There I was (on Thursday) looking for a subject to write about, when my good friend from Florida, Señor Frijoles, made a comment about basic firearm skills.  After the 6th paragraph of my stunningly brilliant rejoinder, I realized I might just have a post.  Another omen, as I, as Sarge is sometimes wont to say, "Got Nuttin".

So, there I was...(and this might be a retread, but I can't find it in the archives) A Captain, in his 4th fighter assignment (3rd operational) flying the world's finest fighter, the F-15C.

The Source is an article about a F-15 crash last summer that I hadn't heard about.  Spatial disorientation during a fight with an F-22 lead to ejection and serious injuries.

 I'm relatively new to the squadron, so flying as a wingman.  My flight lead, for the day, had been one of my students going through Lead-In at Holloman.  He'd been an F-4 Back Seater, gotten his pilot wings and become a flight lead since I'd last flown with him.

We're scheduled for the first launch of the day, right after dawn.  Our mission will be what was called a dart mission.  The Dart was an aluminum covered plywood tapered cruciform (say that one three times fast) target that was towed behind, at the time, an F-86.  Those jets were flown by old retired fighter pilots, most of whom had multiple medals with meaning.  (As opposed to medals one might receive for PCS'ing and not having peeved anyone.) As a further aside, the F-86 guys rarely bought drinks when they came to the bar.

In ANY case, my flight lead and I are going to take off just before dawn, drive a couple of hundred miles east of Okinawa, sweeping the seas to see any ships that might be adversely affected by a couple of thousand rounds of 20mm Lead bullets.  While we are doing that, an F-86 with a Dart aboard will launch and proceed out to the Western edge of the airspace.

Source

If we timed it right, we will just have completed the sweep and he won't have to orbit.  (He doesn't have a lot of gas, so we don't want to waste time.)

So...My flight lead has briefed that first radar contact will run the intercept and first tally (sight) will get first shot.  The wing F-15's had just been given an update to the gun sight which predicted where a bullet, fired now, would be when it reached the range of the target.  The sight would be moved to that position on the canopy.  If it was stabilized on the target when the trigger was pulled and held for 1 second 100 20mm holes would appear on the target.  (Which is a bad thing...if you are the target.)

This will be both my Flight Lead and my first time actually using the system with real ammunition.

We're enthused.

The jet with my name on it, as well as the actual owner, the crew chief's, is on the schedule, so I'll be flying it.  I'm happy about that as the radar and avionics in it are very reliable, even more so than the usually reliable avionics on the Eagle.  I'm confident the airplane won't let me down.  The reverse may not be so.

We blast off in a formation takeoff as the first rays of sunshine break the horizon, climb quickly to two grand (before the end of the runway) so our jet noise will dissipate somewhat and not awaken our Japanese neighbors.  Very shortly thereafter, we are feet wet.  I'm expecting my Flight Lead to continue climbing.  Instead he pushes it over and we return to 500'.  He kicks me out to tactical formation (9000' line abreast) and pushes up the power.

We're soon doing about 600K at 500'.  As we drive out to our side of the area, I am ardently searching for surface traffic to the exclusion of all else, such as not hitting the water, lead, a bird, you know the non-essential stuff.

Or maybe not.

We safely arrive at our edge of the airspace, as I see his burners light.  I push my throttles forward, feel the push back in the seat as they  light, see the airspeed indicator flutter as we rapidly go through the Mach.  I then see him begin a gentle pull.  (Snatching the stick back in your lap above the Mach will result in the engines continuing in their current direction while rest of the aircraft will go up...for a while.)

I do the same.

He turns it into a 38000' Immelman.

Yes, I know it's a Flanker.  They're allowed to do an Immelmann also. 
Source

I'm already working the radar as I transition between #2 and #3 above, and have a contact as I begin the roll out.  Lead gives me the intercept. The F-86 is on my nose for about 50 miles and I notice I have two contacts now, the second in close trail.

I call that I have a Judy and Lead clears me to engage.  I maintain altitude and put the target slightly right of my nose.  I'm on the left of the formation, so the F-86 will fly between us, but about 18,000' below.  That will give us vertical turning room and he will have to turn into one of us, which will put us inside his turn circle.

Assuming that guy turned into sees the target, (a requirement to shoot in peacetime, a great idea in war time), he will arrive in shooting parameters quickly.

The F-86 is about 20 miles now, and everything is progressing as I hoped.  I'm looking through my HUD when I see a flash just below the Target Designator box.  The sun is behind us and it's coming  from the F-86.  At about the same time, I see the Dart in the TD box.

I am "Tally 2", a quick glance to my left and I see Lead falling back behind my wingline to protect my six (in combat, to wait for his turn, on this ride.  But practice like you fight, right?)

I make that call, Flight lead says the same, and the F-86 driver clears us hot.  I flip the Master Arm hot, extend my index finger off the trigger and begin the conversion dive.  I see the F-86 begin a right turn.  He's turning in to me!

I'm now 90^o nose low and do a slow roll to the right as he transitions from right to left.  This keeps my canopy pointed towards him eliminating my having to reacquire him as I pull lead coming out of the dive.

I'm bottoming out of the dive with my nose pointed to where I think he'll be when I get in range.  Quick glance at the F-86.  He's on the right of my nose, the Dart on my left.  Pipper is stabilizing on the Dart, No, it's dead steady on it as I reach 1500'.

I think this is a screen capture from a game, but the  pipper is the circle, the TD box is the square.  1800 is the range to target, the line between the pipper and the TD box is the Time of Flight line (bullets will follow that line to the target,  the longer it is, the less accurate the shot.  If this were me, I'd hold the stick steady for another millisecond to get to 1500' and see if it stabilized a bit.  11960 is the altitude, He's at 314 Knots (.59 mach), pulling 6.1 g with an AOA of 15.2.  He's got gun selected with 524 rounds left.  Not sure what 8.4 is, Gas maybe?
Source

I squeeze and hold the trigger for what I thought was an eternity.  Then, I hear the BURRRRRP of the cannon off my right shoulder, release the trigger and begin to pull, when I see the Dart explode below me.

The F-86 pilot calls "Knock it off".  We acknowledge, safe our switches, rejoin the two ship and then rejoin with the F-86.  He tells us to hold high as he cuts the cable which is whipping a bit in the wind.

Once the cable is gone, we do a quick battle damage check of each other, he clears us off and we head home.

To say I'm a tad jazzed by the ride, might be the understatement of the millennium.

Back on the ground, my Flight Lead comes over shakes my hand and said, he'd been wanting to do a sortie like that with someone who appreciated the advances in the F-15.  He said "Eagle Drivers who've never flown anything else don't fully appreciate how great the airplane really is.  I do, now so do you."

I bought the beers that night in the bar.  Apparently, I had basic firearm skills.

Tactical Reptiles

(Source)

Yup, a T-Rex flying an F-14. I was also reminded of this tune by a comment yesterday.

Of course, I had to read that Johnny Horton died in a car crash at the age of 35, back in 1960. Didn't know that he and Johnny Cash were friends. This song was brand new when I was just six years old, it won a Grammy in 1960. Things you learn on the Internet.

Something else I got a chuckle out of -

(Source)

I wonder how the folks being medieval felt about the Star Trek cosplayers showing up. Truth be told it's pretty damned funny.

Once.

Okay, no more tactical reptiles and other oddities, for today.

It's back to work on Monday...

"Yay."

Yes, my enthusiasm is contagious. For some reason The Missus Herself is ecstatic, after tolerating me underfoot for two weeks. Problem is, with contractors traipsing in and out, I didn't get my normal winter hibernation period. So 2020 might be an exceptionally crabby year for me. We shall see.

But the reason for the interruption of my hibernation is nearly done. Just need the electrician to wire up all the new lights (the ones over the mirrors have yet to be installed) and the plumber to install all the finish plumbing stuff (faucets, toilet, shower head, ya know, the necessaries). Here's a sneak peek -

Marble, marble everywhere!

Hopefully this week sees an end to it. Our contractor has been awesome. Nice detail work all around. Not to mention that the exhaust fan actually vents to the outside now, not into the attic. Gotta love it.

Full AAR to follow.

Now I'm off to watch football, what can I say? It is the playoffs (cue Jim Mora) and I've been watching since about 1965 or so. Here's hoping the officiating doesn't suck. (Cue The Impossible Dream...)

Be seeing you.

It Was John's Idea...

The USS Mustin (DDG 89) launches an ASCROC anti-submarine crocodile* during a live-fire exercise off Guam.
US Navy photo by Culinary Specialist 2nd Class Fidel C. Hart
(Modified with this by MSgt C.A.Goodrich)

The other day I posted one of those "the Air Force isn't really the military" memes, which of course I countered in brilliant Air Force fashion (though I might have used some big words which often confuse my counterparts in the other services 😁). A post which surprised me by the MCT** of comments it generated.

But by far one of the best comments was one from John in Philly with a simply brilliant, yet inadvertent, typo, to wit -

Yes, boys and girls, the dreaded ASCROC, the Anti-Submarine CROCodile, the little known and much feared Deductae erucae Crocodilus. Yes, it's the navalized version of the large semi-aquatic reptile that lives throughout the tropics in Africa, Asia, the Americas and Australia but specially adapted for anti-submarine warfare. These are loaded into the Mk-41 Vertical Launch System with a large rocket strapped to it's butt.

When an enemy submarine is detected within the range of this weapon system, the ASCROC is launched. The fiery departure from the destroyer tends to make the animal just a tad angry and it will immediately attack, and tear to pieces, the first thing it encounters after launch.

This Victor III Russian sub is blissfully unaware of the havoc to which it is about to be subjected.

I have heard that these guys are interested in acquiring an ASCROC capability...

Stands to reason doesn't it?

Rumors of the development by the Russians of a counter to the ASCROC, the Екатерина Великая Бегемот с воздуха, Тип 1, or Catherine the Great Air Deployed Hippo, Type 1 have yet to be confirmed by Your Humble Scribe. But it makes sense as a full grown hippo is definitely not afraid of crocodiles.

Екатерина Великая Бегемот с воздуха, Тип 1
Prototype

But what do I know?

The things my mind wanders to on a Friday night after a long week of not much sleep. In other news, Operation Marble Throne Room nears completion. Full report will come when that momentous event occurs.



* Obviously not really, the original photo was the launch of an actual ASROC, Anti-Submarine Rocket. A torpedo with a rocket strapped to its butt for the longer range which is in it.
** Yup, I'm gonna make you chase that down in the Acronym Page.

No hippos or crocodiles were harmed in the writing of this post...

Yes, I'm Tired (Why? You're On Vacation!)

(Source)

I mentioned a few posts back that Operation Marble Throne Room had commenced about a month ago. Though it goes very well, it would have been quicker had we not launched the operation during the holiday season. As the guys doing the work approach completion, I reflect back over the past couple of weeks.

With the exception of three days at Christmas, and Saturday and Sunday of course, the worker bees have been at it just about every day from 0730 to 1500-ish. Their work is meticulous and very well done. Sure there have been some fits and starts. Like the fact that the wall we extended the bathroom out to be flush (heh) with is sloped somewhat. Sloped not to deflect drywall piercing ammunition but sloped as in the house was rather slapped together back in the '80s, much as the entire neighborhood was.

So there's been some settling and from what I've seen in doing the flooring and some crown molding a few years back, the '80s was a time of sloppy workmanship and an almost pathological lack of attention to detail. Makes my old sergeant blood pressure skyrocket.

The guy we hired to do the job is amazing, but still I rather wish we had scheduled this thing for some time other than my only solid opportunity to take two weeks away from work without the bosses discovering that I am not all that necessary to get things done.

My day begins at 0730 with the worker bees coming up the stairs and setting up their stuff to commence turning our upstairs bathroom into something worthy of the palace at Versailles, though with better plumbing. The jaunty sound of Portuguese music eventually filters through to my subconscious and as I open my eyes, the beta-cat (Anya) is sitting there on the bed looking at me as if to say, "Who are these people in our house? Did you authorize this? I'm not comfortable with these guys clomping up and down the stairs."

At that point I groan and arise from my bed looking (and feeling) as if I had just turned the light out to go to sleep. It's my own fault I guess, as The Missus Herself likes to point out, "If you'd gone to bed at a reasonable hour you wouldn't be so tired."

But hey, I'm on vacation, I can stay up as late as I want, right?

As long as I don't mind being awakened at the "butt crack of dawn" by some jaunty tune in Portuguese.

Pictures to follow when the operation is complete. It looks damned good so far, I'm just afraid that The Missus Herself will determine that the entire maison will need an interior face lift.

Sigh, I suppose I will retire someday, but all of these renovations aren't free. You know how it goes, if the missus ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

But for now, I sleep when I can, write checks when I have to...

That bit at the end? That's me trying to sound coherent around lunch time.

I'm almost looking forward to going back to work.

Almost...

Heh, That's Cute...

Field strip: To disassemble a weapon for cleaning, repair, or inspection.

Saw that meme above on koobecaF the other day, thought it was cute. I mean yes, in my 24 years in the Air Force I fired the M-16 a grand total of four times. Wasn't my job to hump a ruck and a rifle out in the bush.

I responded, in the spirit of inter-service rivalry, with this -

The picture above shows the disassembled (field stripped if you will) components of a B83 thermonuclear bomb. What I have also heard these beasts called is "canned sunshine." When one goes off, it's like we just gained another sun. A little something the Air Force is responsible for maintaining.

I would've quibbled with the Navy being able to field strip the rifle as shown, I guess the fellow who came up with this meme doesn't care for the Air Force and just tossed the Navy in to fill out the picture. As with most memes, it's kinda cute, it's kinda funny, but in reality it's absolute nonsense.

Everybody in uniform has a job to do, some people carry rifles, some people supply the bullets and beans for the folks carrying the rifles. Some people provide air support. Which most of us who blog here did for a living.

Try working on one of these -

What I did for eight years in the Air Force.

The AN/APQ-109A Weapon Control System

Try field stripping that Bubba, bit more complicated than your bang stick.

Both though, are absolutely necessary.

2020? Already?

(Source)

So with the year being 2020, you were perhaps expecting these?

(Source)

Surely you jest...

Stay vertical my friends...

(Source)

Oh yeah...