THE LIST!

Sarge's last post gave me the inspiration for this one.  Christmas Cards are a HUGE deal in my house.  Not quite as big as the Allied invasion of France, but at least as big as the invasion at Calais or the Amphibious Landing in Kuwait.

After 27 years with the Navy (Reserve, Active, Civilian), 11 moves, and meeting people all over the world, our Christmas Card List is VERY long and VERY hard to track.  I wish I could say I use something like this:

But that would mean we were organized and actually wrote down who we need to send cards to.  In reality, we're quite disorganized.  And this list doesn't track the important stuff, like who did or didn't send cards to us, and who deserves cards like this:

The list of who sent cards to us would actually be quite small in comparison to ours.  I'm sure our postman HATES our house- we mail close to 150 cards every season.  We semi-argue every Christmas about who gets cards this year.  I divide them into these categories:  

1. Family

2. Might as well be Family (super-close family friends)

3. Friends

  Sub categories: 

  --High School friends I still keep in touch with

 --College friends I still keep in touch with (this sub-cat. is currently empty since the good ones fall into Cat.4)

  --People we met along the way during those 27 years, but aren't Navy

  --People from work (Kinda Navy but they're probably civilians, like my boss, who is retired Navy, but I digress)

4. Navy Friends

5. Others

6. Others that don't deserve a card, but for some stupid reason we keep sending them one

7. Why the hell are they still on The List when we never hear from them?

8. People who moved and didn't even take the time to send us their new address.

With the number of divorces our extended family has had (probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 30%), I could add a category called Ex-Family, but luckily there is no semi-argument there- they are decidedly OFF THE LIST!

The last category is the biggest headache-inducing aspect of the list.  I'd like to say tough $#!Z, but since many of them are in category 4, the first Naval Commandment pertains: Thou shalt not drop them from The List. So, our mailman gets about 50 packs of these:

By the way, don't ask me what the other Naval Commandments are- I haven't made them up yet.  So...., I spend an inordinate amount of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve emailing, texting, Facebook messaging, and if needed, calling- to find out where the heck they are now.  Most of the time I know where they are, meaning state, country, or AOR, but the exact address is the #1 requirement to get a Christmas Card out the door.  A stamp is #2, our return address is #3, and a correct address is a distant #4.  Some of these are easy to find- just send them something on email, but there is another subcategory for all 8- "Those that don't do Facebook" or "Those that changed their email address-WHAT KIND OF FRIEND DOES THAT WITHOUT TELLING US?!"  The answer to that is someone who doesn't deserve a card, but Commandment 1 usually applies.

I hate calling people to get their address- we usually wind up chatting for a bit, talking about our lives, our kids, the dog, work, etc., so by the time we're done, we're completely caught up and I've absolutely wasted a good Christmas letter which is also another bone of contention within the Tuna household.  The missus is quite a gifted writer.  She spent time during a couple tours on the staff of the Bremerton Sun and the Tampa Tribune.  She maintains her own blog and has a significant following.  The bone is really only about getting it written, and the format for the annual letter.  We hate the "My kid is 2 years old and has already been accepted into Harvard"-type letters, so we like to be a bit more entertaining, a little less informative, and a whole-lot irreverent.  For example, an excerpt from a past letter:

"Our kids, 9 and 11, were absolutely horrible this year.  They don't deserve even coal in their stockings, but will probably get some massively overpriced and overrated piece of electronic gaming junk because we can't bear the thought of being "those parents" who didn't even get their kids crap for Christmas."

Once the letter is written, all the addresses collected for The List, and we've gone to Office Depot to get Holiday-themed paper after we realized we forgot that part of the process, she starts printing the letters and I start hand-addressing the envelopes.  That is followed shortly by a return of Office Depot to get more black ink, and maybe a third time to get more paper when we realize that the ink cartridge ran out 50 sheets ago leaving a bunch of too-light-to-be-read Christmas Letters.

As for the type of cards, that depends.  Because of  1.Our faith, 2. My involvement in the KofC which sells cards, 3. My dislike of the over-commercialization of Christmas, we typically ascribe to the following:

Therefore, our cards tend to look like this:

 

After all, he is the Reason for the Season.  However, part of me wishes we could send cards a little more like this:

We actually do send some Joyous Holiday Spirit with Holly, Santa, Reindeer, or other secular images and sentiments on them-  cards.  We have some friends that don't believe in God, Christ, or what-not, so they get some regular ones, but I tend to cringe when I send these.  They believe in the commercialism of Christmas, have trees, give gifts, etc., but C'mon- the ONLY reason this holiday exists is because of Jesus.  So I shouldn't worry about any perceived offense I may cause.  I would love to know what the folks demanding we take down manger scenes from public property would say if we ended the National Holiday that is Christmas.  The hippocracy abounds!  Anyway, this next type of card works, but being from San Diego, it's a bit unrealistic:

After all, today it was SEVENTY FIVE FREAKING DEGREES here in Sunny San Diego.  Way too damn hot for me.  Don't get me wrong, I love San Diego's weather, but it's a week from Christmas for Chris Kringle's sake!  I know it's not gonna snow here anytime soon, but how about some crispness in the air at least?  Jack Frost ain't nipping at anyone's nose here in Sandy Eggo.

However, it was cold in the water today, as evidenced by the folks at the beach:

 and

That was back during Thanksgiving, but you get the idea.  Yeah, it sucks to live here in beautiful sunny San Diego.

Back to the Christmas Cards and The List-

The initial Christmas Card mailing is hectic and frantic, but that pales in comparison to the second Christmas Card mailing- the one that follows the annual "They sent us a card?  They haven't sent us one in two years so we dropped them from The List!" event.

With The List reaching impossible-to-track proportions since we only use our ever-failing memories and my address book on Google Contacts, we have no real clue who lives where, who sent us one last year, who we sent one to last year, how long it's been since they didn't send us one, who just doesn't send cards, and so on.  We’re in the process of developing a website (Tuna'sXmasLetter.joy), but the contractor is way behind and no one has been able to enroll yet, so they all get another paper version this year.  However, I promise that anyone who likes their Christmas Card can keep their Christmas Card and we won’t be cancelling anyone from The List.

In all seriousness, reaching out to friends and family is our family's tradition during Christmas, no matter how long it's been since we've been in touch, and whether or not you truly deserve a card from us (snark), our little gift to everyone we cherish.  The tradition was set long ago, when a great example was set by another family who gave a small gift:

By the way, I absolutely HATE it when one of our friends publicly thanks us on Facebook for the Christmas Card.  Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but the fact is, not everybody in our list of friends gets a card.  Especially Facebook friends, which fall into yet another category- Friends, but not all of them good enough to get a card.  I guess they're more like acquaintances.  And my list of Fakebook friends is pushing close to 400- Nobody has that many friends, so into some arbitrary category many of them go.  The public pronouncement is a little embarrassing- people may find out they aren't on The List!  Oh well, I'll just blast out some Christmassy sentiment on Facebook and make it all better!  I gotta go- need to hit Office Depot again.

Jon Snow, Christmas Cards and Boots

So yes, I'm a big fan of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice series. (To the less well-read out there, which includes me most of the time, think Game of Thrones. Which is actually the first volume in the series. We can thank HBO for everyone calling it Game of Thrones and not by it's proper name. But we can also thank HBO for the rather fine mini-series of the same title. At this point, the Snake Eater would no doubt make some remark about pedantic something-holes. And he'd be correct. But I digress. ICSFTH)

I'm also rather a fan of on-line quizzes. A buddy of mine on Facebook tipped me off to this one. I like the outcome. As the website says though (warning - insider alert) "Avoid Joffrey and you can call it a win". (Joffrey is a spoiled brat. Who becomes king. Who has Ned Stark executed. Ned is Jon Snow's father. Not married to Jon Snow's mother. If you have time, rent the mini-series, Season One should do nicely. Beware though, this stuff is addictive!)

If you were wondering, this is Ned Stark -

And yes I know, he does look like Boromir. But it's not Boromir. Well yes, it's the same actor. And yes they both carry big swords and dress medieval style. But they are two different guys. Trust me. And Game of Thrones is kind of like Lord of the Rings without the ring. And the elves. And the poetry. And everyone dies. Or nearly everyone. So it seems.

So what does Jon Snow have to do with Christmas cards? Absolutely nothing, but I'm glad you asked.

Actually I had planned a sort of whimpering, whiny rant vis-à-vis Christmas cards. But then the Game of Thrones quiz caught my eye (something shiny as it were) so I wanted to include that. So (lucky you YMMV) get both. Plus a bonus topic. (What bonus topic you say, uh, go back and read the title. That'll give you a clue!)

So Christmas cards. A decree has gone out from Caesar Augustus The Missus Herself that Christmas cards must be filled out and mailed to the various recipients on the Master List. (An item so shrouded in legend and mystery that many believe it doesn't actually exist! But it does dear Reader, oh yes it does.)

Guess who gets to do that little task?

Yes, that would be me, Your Humble Scribe and raconteur extraordinaire. (Hhmm, that wasn't exactly humble, was it?)

So yes, I must sit down, inscribe a meaningful thought or two on each card, then address, stamp and send out to the world a Christmas card.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-Christmas card. It's just that I've become kind of jaded by the whole process. For a number of years we would scramble to keep the Master List updated...

TMH: No, they must be dropped from the list. We didn't get a card from them last year.

YHS: Maybe the Post Office lost it?

TMH: Nonsense! They are off the list. I have spoken!

Well, it doesn't really go like that. But it's close. It's an American game The Missus Herself has learned well. To get a card, one must send a card. But who starts? Someone has to be first. Right? It's all too complex for me. But I'm just the guy who fills out the cards, addresses them and mails them. (Missing Oxford comma? Grammarians everywhere cry out, "Shame!" Meh... Or to be seasonal, "Bah humbug!")

At any rate. The Missus Herself has no idea the work involved in writing something meaningful (and different) on each card. I mean, we care about these folks, we don't want to just sign our names to the card and make do with the factory sentiment printed thereon. Do we? It can be a creative nightmare. As in, "Wait a minute, I think I put this on their card last year. Damn. I don't want to be repeating myself!" Yes, the quest for originality is strong within me. (So why don't we see that on the blog you ask? Be quiet!)

So yes, Christmas cards. I love them, but I feel burdened by them. What if my Muse takes that night off? Oh my. We're doomed. (At this point The Missus Herself would say, "Just shut up and get those ready so I can put them in the mailbox tomorrow! You always make such a big deal out of everything!" And this next picture is most emphatically not a plan for mowing the lawn from last year.)

(It's from three years ago and it's only this detailed because of the new pond we put in that year, labelled MORTAIN on the map above.)

So, Jon Snow, Christmas cards...

There was something else...

Oh yes! Boots! In particular snow boots (very important this time of year).

Aaron (over at The Shekel) recommends a particular brand of snow boot. I can vouch for the manufacturer and the boots look excellent. I must get me a pair! (You should have asked for those for Christmas! Why are you just now... Sigh - yes Dear.)

Anyway go check that out. Aaron's blog is excellent and I'm not saying that just because he referred to the Chant du Départ as "an American blog with a French name and lots of military goodness and smart commentary." No, that's not it at all. (Though it doesn't hurt!)

So there you have it. Jon Snow, Christmas Cards and Boots. Three topics, somewhat disparate, but not totally. And that my friends is how you blog like a pro! (Um, as I don't get paid to do this, I wouldn't really know. But it sounds cool... Doesn't it? Bueller. Bueller...)

As The Year Winds Down...

I'm starting to wear out.

At my company, we normally shut down between Christmas and New Year's. We do this by foregoing a number of other holidays during the year. So of the eleven "Federal" holidays, we get six. To wit: New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Yup, that's it.

We don't get Martin Luther King Day, Washington's Birthday, Columbus Day and Veterans Day off. Well we do, but not on the day those holidays are observed. No, those days count towards the "end-of-year" shutdown. (Most of us call it "Christmas Break", only those who are terrified of being perceived as being politically incorrect call it anything else.)

For those who might wonder, I'm not really miffed that I'm normally at work on Veteran's Day. Even though I'm a veteran. For you see, my company has a very nice tribute to we vets upon that day. We have cannons and everything.

75mm Pack Howitzer

Three cannon, just like those above. Normally each will fire seven blank rounds. All of the vets where I work line up according to service, we get a speech (usually an active duty guy, for us it's normally an officer attending the Naval War College in nearby Newport) and those guns wrap things up with the salute. So it's pretty special and I don't mind working that day.

I do rather begrudge not having Washington's Birthday off. But that's more of a remembrance of when I was a kid when we had two (count them two!) February holidays: Lincoln's and Washington's birthdays. I don't remember when the weasels in Congress spoiled that. Now it seems they spoil everything, not just some things.

So this year, the last day of work is the 23rd of December, a Monday. No one officially has to work again until the 2nd of January, 2014, a Thursday. Now many people will take that Monday as a vacation day, ditto the Thursday and Friday of the week of New Year's.

As I ran out of vacation days back in October, I'll be reporting for duty on the 23rd. But I will be taking the aforementioned Thursday and Friday after New Year's off. Primarily because I can and also because The Missus Herself and I will be flying back from Michigan on the second day of the bright, shiny new year. (We're all gathering on Big Time's turf for the New Year celebrations.)

But my substantial derriere is starting to drag as the year grinds down to its inevitable conclusion. I find that, the older I get, the more I need this nearly two week break around Christmas.

So yes, my Master Caution light is illuminated. And today at work I experienced multiple helmet fires. Seems my central processor tends to overheat at this time of year.

Bear in mind, it's an old processor. It has a lot of miles on it. But it will be nearly as good as new come Monday, the Sixth of January. At least I hope so! For now, here's an F-15 (or two).

I'm sure Juvat will like these! (Do I suck up to my readers? Why yes, yes I do!)

Memory

Twice today I've seen this:

Another one of those moments, another of those days that I would have preserved in amber if I could, and kept someplace safe. To bring it out like the phial of Galadriel – to be a light for me in dark places, when all other lights go out.

It is one of those timeless thoughts left to us by Lex.

My memories are like that. That phial of Galadriel. I have so many happy memories of my own childhood and of my childrens' childhoods. I have many new memories centered around my grandchildren. I have so much to be thankful for. When I feel down or alone, I can think back to one of those times in the past and it truly is a light in the darkness.

But there are many who will be alone during this Season of Light. Some who have lost touch with their families, some who must be apart from their loved ones because of the call of duty. Their numbers are legion. Spare a thought for them during this time.

And then there are those whose loved one went out the door one day and never returned. Leaving behind only a howling emptiness. Another phrase from Lex.

This is his family's second Christmas without him.

There are others who lost loved ones this year, those families who will face this joyous time with only the memory of the one they lost. This year will hurt. Perhaps in future times they will be able to think back and remember that lost loved one. Maybe see, if only in their hearts, that smile, that grin - one more time.

Spare a thought, and a prayer, for them.

Odds And Sods...

Navy 34 - Army 7

Yesterday's big game started in that weather shown above. As the game deteriorated into a blow-out, the weather followed suit by becoming a slushy, wet mess. Didn't dampen the morale of the Middies and Cadets in the stands though. Ah, to be young again!

The snow was around all day yesterday here at Chez Sarge. From the late morning until late afternoon it was just random flakes falling here and there. Very picturesque but it was rather brisk for the early part of the day. Didn't even reach 20 degrees (Fahrenheit, natürlich) until mid afternoon.

After the sun went down though, the snow started to pick up. The view from the upper battlements at the Manse was rather nice (I thought) so I took a few snapshots. Which I will now inflict upon share with you. (It's what I do, I share...)

To the North, With Flash On

Now for that first picture I left the flash on. Immediately noticed that the snowflakes near the camera reflect back a lot (most?) of the light. Giving that light on the building in the distance a rather unearthly quality. (Well, I thought so anyway.) So for the next shot, I turned the flash off, and we see this -

To the North, With Flash Off

You can see more detail though it is a bit blurry (to turn the flash off, you disable the "Smart" capabilities of the camera, apparently that also disables the "anti-wobble" feature as well. D'oh!)

While I think the first photo looks very ethereal and all, the second shows what's back there behind the Estate. But the second photo also looks colder. The next two are the same type of sequence, flash, then no flash. Two photos of my shed (made "famous" during last February's blizzard).

Captain's Log, Star Date...
Has sort of a star field look to me.

I find the reddish hue of this photo kind of interesting. Street lights maybe?

So that was my Saturday. Pretty exciting , neh? No, not really.

Oh and you "bloggers" from over the seas? While I find it interesting that you'd take the time to stop by and leave a comment, I'm not really interested in providing you free advertising for your t-shirt printing e-store or "what have you". Stop by and say "Hi", that's okay. Leave a link to some website, yer comment gets deleted. Sorry, but 'dems da rulz! My blog, my rules.

御免なさい！ (Gomen nasai - sorry...)

So let it be written, so let it be done!

The Game of the Year

I was looking for something along the lines of what I did last year for the Army - Navy game. I found that picture above. Thought, "Nice", who did that I wonder?

So I followed the link. Yup, Neptunus Lex. Seven years ago.

Damn...

Ah well, with three kids in the Navy and one kid former Navy, I have to root for the kids from Canoe U.

But no matter who wins, let's hope for a great game!

And I am starting to feel bad for the kids from that school on the Hudson.

Update:

Navy 34 - Army 7

Twelve years in a row! Now I do feel bad for Army, maybe next year Black Knights...

I Missed This Last Week, Not Again...

I have to say, c w is one of my favorite reads. I visit his place every day.

But Fridays, those are special.

Go see why.

That photo over there, it's starting to look like that around Chez Sarge. Little Rhody has seen a couple of snow falls already.

It's pretty.

We might get 8-inches of the frozen stuff tomorrow (Saturday) night.

If we keep power, then it's pretty.

Otherwise...

Arghhhh!

(And I don't mean the castle!)