Who Am I?

Kinda Fits the Meme
and
They Were a Great Band

I saw the following over at the Cranky old man and again at Uncle Skip's and found it très amusant. So I decided to do it here as well. It's fun (for me) and also removes the necessity of thinking overly hard to come up with a new post. Something which might be worthy of your time. I have been accused of being opportunistic at times. And a "copy cat". So, for what it's worth...

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Bellows Falls. In Vermont. Not to be confused with Bellows Falls in Westphalia. (A spin on an old Monty Python bit. Sorry.) 'Tis a small town on the Connecticut River. My parents did not live there when I was born. They lived in the next town up, Springfield. I think I was born in Bellows Falls because it was kind of equidistant from where Mom and Dad lived and where both sets of grandparents lived. And I was my parents first born.

There may be more to the story but then again maybe not. I don't lose sleep over it.

Both of my brothers were also born in Bellows Falls but not in the same hospital. Not that there was more than one hospital in Bellows Falls. The one I was born in was either torn down or burned down. I don't remember. Bear in mind I was a baby when that happened. How could I be expected to remember such a thing? Which reminds me of a story.

One of my company's on-going, long time projects has a monthly newsletter. This will feature an "engineer of the month" article. You know, the sort of thing where they ask the person questions much like the exercise in humor (futility?) we're undergoing right now.

One of the questions they asked one engineer-of-the-month was, "What is your earliest memory?"

The engineer's response was, "I don't remember."

I would have at least offered up what I had for breakfast that morning. Really, "I can't remember"?

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?

Not to my knowledge, though I was very young when I was named. Perhaps I was but wasn't paying attention at the time.

IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?

I have three kids. All grown, all successfully making their way in the world as taxpayers. They also make more money than me. Not collectively mind you but individually. I am not claiming any wild success as a parent. I believe it's because they take after their Mother. I do know that they are also smarter than me and better looking than me.

Oh wait, that proves they take after their Mother.

HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?

Two. Both of the feline persuasion. I might count the occasional rodent who takes up residence in the basement, but one of the two official pets usually winds up killing those. And doesn't even bother to make it look like an accident. Which brings to mind another story. (For those of you who are new here, this is a tangent. I do a lot of those.)

In Germany we got our first two cats. They were brothers, part of their mother's first litter. Their mother was the cat of our good friends on the next street's landlord. Not that that bit is critical to the story. In fact none of this really is.

But the two cats were Pat and Tiger (pronounced "tigger", sort of, if you speak German, his name was the German word for "tiger" which is spelled the same but pronounced differently. It is close though to "tigger". But I digress.)

Pat was a pretty good hunter. But he wasn't much of a killer. He once tracked down a mouse in the basement of our German house. He had injured the mouse (badly as I recall) but not actually killed it. Now there was a bucket of water in this basement. Used for condensation from the clothes dryer (a long story, don't ask). Rather than finish the mouse off, Pat chased the mouse INTO the bucket of water. And then refused to let the mouse out. Eventually the mouse tired and drowned.

As the Nuke tells it, "Remember the time Pat caught the mouse and forced him to commit suicide?" It sounds rather Teutonic doesn't it?

WHAT IS YOUR WORST INJURY?

The time I broke the little toe on my left foot. Last summer, Labor Day weekend. That's all I'll say about that. Other than the fact that it hurt like bloody Hell. Not to put too fine a point on it.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

My wife would say that my special talent is annoying her. Personally I think that the ability to gross out my daughters is my true special talent.

Who would've thought that referring to them as "the fruit of my loins" at a formal Naval event would be somewhat low brow. Now if it had been around the WSO's squadron, she would no doubt have a different call sign than she has now. No, I'm not going to tell you what the WSO's call sign is. But trust me, the story behind it is hysterical. Involves Fallon and the O-Club. That's all I'm going to say.

Oh. And beverages of an adult nature.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE?

Uhh, what? Now as a guy I should probably skip this. I don't bake anymore and avoid cooking of any variety. Ever since the burnt mashed potatoes "oh-my-God-you've-ruined-Thanksgiving" incident of 1986. But if forced I would answer brownies. The type that come in a box. You add eggs and whatever. Bake at 400, you're done.

Now I had a lady once tell me "Making brownies from a mix is not baking. I make my brownies from scratch."

My shin hurt for a month after the Missus Herself kicked me under the table. Seems my comment of "Oh really? From scratch? So where do you grow the grain? I didn't know you had a cow, chickens and your own cacao plants..." was not appreciated.

FAVORITE FAST FOOD?

If pressed I would say Subway. (Does that count as a fast food?)

I used to like McDonalds. But then I grew up. Kind of.

Come to think of it, I still like McDonalds. But not as much as Subway.

Perhaps I have not grown up as much as I thought.

Wendy's is good too.

Which makes me think of this...

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Not in a million years. Are you out of your freaking mind?

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Whether or not they expect me to bake something.

Or bungee jump.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Monday, when the alarm went off and I realized that I had to go to work.

Seriously though? At Christmas whenever I hear the song "Oh Come Emmanuel".

Or any time I hear the Navy Hymn, "Eternal Father, Strong to Save".

Thinking about either of those two gets me teary eyed. So I guess the answer is "Right now".

ANY CURRENT WORRIES?

Whether or not the current administration and the associated asshats in Congress are going to mess up the United States beyond all recognition. That is my chief worry.

If that's not one of your chief worries, than you are also one of my worries. YMMV.

NAME 3 DRINKS THAT YOU DRINK REGULARLY:

I drink a Whiskey drink, I drink a Vodka drink

I drink a Lager drink, I drink a Cider drink

I  sing the songs that remind me of the good times

I sing the songs that remind me of the better times

Oh wait, that's a song...

Ice Coffee, Caffeine Free Diet Coke (I know, I know) and Guinness (for strength)

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?

I don't really have a "favorite" book per se. But I do have a number of favorite authors, here's a partial list:

• Stephen Coonts
• Tom Clancy
• Lee Child
• Harold Coyle
• Dale Brown
• Clive Cussler
• Vince Flynn
• Barbara Tuchman (in my mind one of the truly great historians of all time)
• Bernard Cornwell
• J.R.R. Tolkien
• James Clavell
• Nelson DeMille

There are (no doubt) others whose works have entertained and educated me. I am a voracious reader. I suppose if I was forced to pick a "favorite" book, it would have to be a trilogy and it would have to be Lord of the Rings.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE?

Absolutely, positively not! Pirates are a scourge to be eradicated. Both now and in the way back. This sergeant will not stoop to glorifying murderers, thieves and rapists. So if I wouldn't be a politician I wouldn't be a pirate either. 'Nuff said.

FAVORITE SMELLS?

The smell of fallen leaves on a cold October evening.

The smell of a campfire/fireplace on any kind of cold, clear evening.

The smell of my grandchildren, in any condition whatsoever. They are, after all, my grandchildren.

The smell of my wife's hair.

The smell of my Mother's kitchen. 

WHY DO YOU BLOG?

Captain Carroll "Lex" LeFon, United States Navy (Retired)

No more will be said, no more can be said.

Thank you Lex...

WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?

This one - 

Or maybe this - 

Oh yeah, that made me cry too. A little...

WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I eat too damn much.

FAVORITE HOBBY?

Reading. (I may have mentioned that above.)

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND?

Loyalty and a good sense of humor.

NAME SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO: 

Become a Deacon in my church. Heck, even returning to church after I retired from the Air Force is something I thought I'd never do.

Amazing what the love of a good woman can do, innit?

FAVORITE FUN THINGS TO DO?

Anything involving my wife, kids and grandkids.

ANY PET PEEVES?

People who are blissfully unaware of their surroundings. Especially when they're behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. There are others but they pale in comparison to this one.

WHAT'S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?

My department manager walking into the lab and announcing:

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends

We're so glad you could attend 

Come inside! Come inside!

Work seems that way at times, to have the boss come in and say that, let's just say that I always knew the guy had a good sense of humor. That proved it for the doubters.

That was 12 hours ago as I write and I'm still chuckling.

What the boss said?

It's from this -

I think there was more to this, like "tagging" ten other bloggers.

No.

We don't do "chain memes".