Thursday, July 25, 2013

Never Gonna Make the Big Bucks...

Uh, sorry Bambi. Not you, this -

Simoleons, cash money, swag, the green stuff, benjamins, bread, dough, cabbage, moolah, you know, dollars!

Yes, I realized today that I would probably never be filthy rich. I don't buy lottery tickets, though my theory that just tossing dollar bills into the trash is actually not the same as buying lottery tickets. There is a zero percent chance of the trash can handing me a check for millions of dollars. Of course, actually expecting to get a check for millions of dollars after actually buying a lottery ticket has only a slightly higher chance of happening.

Of course, if I were to throw money into the trash, the guys who pick up our trash every Thursday would be happy. I suppose they would have to actually know the money was in the trash. No doubt the FBI, the NSA, the BMW (huh?) and the DHS would be curious as to why I was dumping money in the trash.

Hhhmm, if I was filthy rich, I might do that just to puzzle them.

Nah, one thing I know about myself is that I'm frugal, thrifty, parsimonious, you know, a bit of a cheap ba$tard. Not to mince words.

But I do have another cunning plan...

Well, it's not actually that cunning...


What? Um, no, certainly not that.

My plan is that eventually a fantastically wealthy person, perhaps even a future King of England, will stumble across my blog. And pay me lots of money to do nothing but write the blog.

Not going to happen old boy...

Well, maybe these guys?

We only invest in stuff...
...blogs aren't stuff.

Uncle Jed?

Well ain't that Old AF Sarge fella even dumber than Jethro!

Hey, it could happen, why just the other day I was telling...

Um, okay, err, yes, I mean...

Getting back to work AYE, Rumbear!

See the comments here to explain that last bit. For those of you not paying attention. How you ever expect to pass the final exam is beyond me.

As you can see, if my posts continue like this, I better not quit my day job.



  1. Yeah, we kinda gave up that option a LONG time ago didn't we... But "I" for one am proud of what we accomplished... Money ain't everything... sigh

  2. Yes, I realized today that I would probably never be filthy rich.

    You are NOT alone. I'd settle for bein' "moderately untidy rich," meself.

    1. Now there's a nice turn of phrase.

      Of course, we expect nothing less from the Master...


  3. I'll settle for happy over money any day.
    For the most part, I have that.

    1. Same here. Most days I really enjoy every waking moment.

  4. Uncle Jed's got quite the flashy tie on in that picture. Proof that money corrupts, if nothing else, your sense of style.

    1. I know. You'd think he could spare a dime for us working stiffs, instead of blowing it all on fancy ties.

      Oh wait a minute, it is his money isn't it?

      Perhaps I was thinking of the "old" America?


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Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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